"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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oneitis on a friend

princesimba

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i have this friend who liked me for years now but i never liked her that way

recently she turned hot honest so we dated for a while

then i caught oneitis for her and turned AFC, too much contact.

and now shes flaking, (giving excuses) no longer working for me.

usually in situations like this i will ignore the girl.

except this girl is a friend who i may have to meet up every WEEK, but with a group of our friends, as we have done for years now

usually in social groups i am the centre of attention, but now with this situation...

just wondering how to proceed. please dont tell me to stop meeting tis group of friends because there are many in it who i actually care about.

will appreciate any help opinions :woo:
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Redempti0n

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Get flirty with other chicks withing the social circle.
 

SirFratserlot

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Its sad, they like you when dont give them attention and they lpse interest as soon as you get a hint of attention. I was in a similar situation and ive been on nc for almost a week in a half.
 

TheException

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Get flirty with other chicks withing the social circle.

Always helps^

turned AFC, too much contact.

Tis obvious is it not? No more AFC and less contact. Just quit trying so hard to force something with this girl. They always run away from this type of behavior...and i mean always. They get bored with guys that just throw themselves at them.
 

SpazzAttackk

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SirFratserlot said:
Its sad, they like you when dont give them attention and they lpse interest as soon as you get a hint of attention. I was in a similar situation and ive been on nc for almost a week in a half.
It sucks eh? Sometimes the inner chump in us all causes us to break NC. Keep it up, Im in somewhat of the same boat. Gauging interest levels with my LTR.

But we all know just because they dont initiate, it doesnt mean theyre not interested. Once again, women are complicated.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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SpazzAttackk

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SirFratserlot said:
How does it not mean that theyre not interested

Some girls want the guy to initiate, they want to feel chased. Or they just have an insecurity via a previous relationship where the guy said they were too clingy.
 

princesimba

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Redempti0n said:
Get flirty with other chicks withing the social circle.
of course i'll do this! :)

whats bound to happen next though, since ive known her for so many years, is that she'll find some way to talk to me within the social circle. She's gonna act like nothing wrongs ever happened.

Which brings me to my next question: what do i do when that happens?

ignore her?
indifferent?
nice and polite?
behave as per normal but dont contact her at all once outing ends?
or?

i have next to no experience when it comes to dating friends. Especially friends i cannot go no contact from. Walking away outright has always been my so called ultimate move.
 

SpazzAttackk

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princesimba said:
of course i'll do this! :)

whats bound to happen next though, since ive known her for so many years, is that she'll find some way to talk to me within the social circle. She's gonna act like nothing wrongs ever happened.

Which brings me to my next question: what do i do when that happens?

ignore her?
indifferent?
nice and polite?
behave as per normal but dont contact her at all once outing ends?
or?

i have next to no experience when it comes to dating friends. Especially friends i cannot go no contact from. Walking away outright has always been my so called ultimate move.
Ignore her. Girls who go from ugly to hot tend to have power trips and ignoring her will bring her insecure side out. Once that comes out she (depending on girl) will start chasing simply because she wants you to see how much of an HB 8 shes become. Eventually she will break and do something drastic, possibly sexually.

Giving her attention will just blow her head up, meaning your head wont be getting blown.
 

IExist

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I am wondering if the ages of the people involved are under 25. Not all females are the same and people change with experiences. Treat people as individuals. I happen to be a female who does not run from attention from my man but will run from attention from other men.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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lamobatsman

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IExist said:
I am wondering if the ages of the people involved are under 25. Not all females are the same and people change with experiences. Treat people as individuals. I happen to be a female who does not run from attention from my man but will run from attention from other men.

where can i find a girl like you?:)
 

Purefilth

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princesimba said:
i have this friend who liked me for years now but i never liked her that way

recently she turned hot honest so we dated for a while

then i caught oneitis for her and turned AFC, too much contact.

and now shes flaking, (giving excuses) no longer working for me.

usually in situations like this i will ignore the girl.

except this girl is a friend who i may have to meet up every WEEK, but with a group of our friends, as we have done for years now

usually in social groups i am the centre of attention, but now with this situation...

just wondering how to proceed. please dont tell me to stop meeting tis group of friends because there are many in it who i actually care about.

will appreciate any help opinions :woo:
'Cmon son you been here 2 years.
What have you learnt?

Dead serious. I want you to reply to this post with what you have done, what you think you should do and what happens here next.

I know you haven't been here all this time and learned absolutely nothing.
 

princesimba

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Purefilth said:
'Cmon son you been here 2 years.
What have you learnt?

Dead serious. I want you to reply to this post with what you have done, what you think you should do and what happens here next.

I know you haven't been here all this time and learned absolutely nothing.
Well technically ive never really been here :)

ok serious. Ive never really liked the idea of forums (hence my low number of posts) and im quite sure u agree that there are more rubbish threads here than good ones but if theres one thing i like about sosuave its that it teaches me respect. Not just respect for others but especially respect for myself.

What have i done? Well i shouldnt have dated a friend in the first place, but since i did i should not have gave her so much attention and i should have just treated her the way i always have.

What i think i should do? Well thats obvious, stop giving this girl attention. How exactly am i gonna do that? Im not sure. Therefore me being here.

What happens next? I dont know. Really.

Like i said, i dont come here often!
 

zorg198

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Simple , stop giving her attention and ignore her. easy said and done but you have to do this for yourself, also start talking with other girls , once you will do that your mind won't be focused on her and she will see that.

Joe.
 

Kbomb

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zorg198 said:
Simple , stop giving her attention and ignore her. easy said and done but you have to do this for yourself, also start talking with other girls , once you will do that your mind won't be focused on her and she will see that.

Joe.
I think this is wrong. You should just treat her like you used to. Revert everything back and control yourself to the point where she no longer affects you. If this is not possible then you are in fact a broken little man. There are MANY women out there.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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princesimba

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Kbomb said:
I think this is wrong. You should just treat her like you used to. Revert everything back and control yourself to the point where she no longer affects you. If this is not possible then you are in fact a broken little man. There are MANY women out there.
revert everything back? which means me flirting non stop with her but never asking her out? cos thats the way it used to be :)
 
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