Having a bit of a problem and feel stuck. I have a bad case of oneitis with a girl at work, who I see a couple times a week. It's really hard to avoid/ignore her since we don't work in a large area. It also seems like dating other girls hasn't cured this trapped feeling. So what's the best way to deal with this? If anyone has any similar experiences, would love to hear. Help me get rid of this!
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Oneitis at work
- Thread starter mrmoe
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Hehe, well now we have a game! Question is, do you want to play?mrmoe said:
You have one chance to get anything out of this, but you must promise yourself that after you give it a shot and it doesn't work out, you MUST move on.
I think you have to ask her out. It's for you to decide where to go. Somewhere simple. You guys know each other so talk should be easy (obviously not about work all the the time). The thing is, if you want this to work you have to act differently. By differently I mean not like you do normally. Do something you think she wouldn't expect you to do, like making a leap in the kino department.
If she has put you into her LJBF bin, the only way to shake that is to get her to wonder if she assesed you correctly. I can't help you much as far as ideas go since I don't know you at all.
Of course it would not be a good idea to try something that, if you fail, would make working with her uncomfortable...duh!
Make a plan, execute it, if does not work out, then forget about your feelings. Find a flaw in her or something and get the oneitis out of your head (her biggest flaw is not hooking up with you a long time ago
).Don't take me as an expert I'm just giving out ideas, but do something. Oneitis sucks, I've had it. The only way out is to find someone else and fill that gap in your head, but not before you're absolutely sure you have nowhere else to go, because you will always wonder "what if" otherwise.
Hope that helps.
Guys, thanks for the quick responses. I know I have to take some sort of action very soon. This is just a horrible state of mind to be in. I feel confident enough that it will be resolved, which is a good thing!
Some more details on this. We have somewhat of a close relationship. People have assumed we were a couple a few times when we were out. We interact on a very close level (share food, drinks, play fight, stupid things like that). As soon as I started picking up that she was into this other dude, I started feeling a little jealous and have that oneitis feeling.
Some more details on this. We have somewhat of a close relationship. People have assumed we were a couple a few times when we were out. We interact on a very close level (share food, drinks, play fight, stupid things like that). As soon as I started picking up that she was into this other dude, I started feeling a little jealous and have that oneitis feeling.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
elor, I can relate to that story somewhat. Albeit the end result was nowhere near as successful. Similar situation happened a week ago. We were at a bar. I wanted to make a move but she started blatantly flirting with that guy I mentioned. I wanted no part of the game, so I left a bit early. Looking back, I probably shouldn't have but I didn't care to be sucked into that.