One-Sided Monogamy / Threesomes

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

I married a second husband who is younger, hotter, taller, more successful and objectively “better” in every way than first husband.

So yeah.

If a woman stays fit and attractive she will continue to have great abundance. Dont fool yourselves guys.

You are redefining my take on Western women. I would follow your posts if I could figure out how. If you haven't noticed, I rarely give compliments. This is one of them.

 

[member162951]

HONEY YOU AINT SHJT. SATISFACTION OF MY SEXUAL URGES IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU, AND I NO LONGER SEE YOU AS VALUABLE ENOUGH TO WARRANT MY LOYALTY.

I ALSO DONT CARE HOW MY BEHAVIOR AFFECTS OUR FAMILY. FVCK THE MARRIAGE BECAUSE IM SELFISH, ENTITLED AND BORED (And I’m bored because you ain’t shjt.)

Isn’t that a wonderful affirmation for your loyal wife to receive?

Just how do you think that will go over OP?

Oh come on @Be, isn't that a bit extreme? Or A LOT extreme!

OP NEVER said or even suggested that is how he would present the conversation. Where did you get that?

He came here to discuss. He's struggling with some deviating thoughts. He has NOT done anything and my take is he won't.

You want to call that having "poor character"?

Be my guest, I don't. I call it being HUMAN.

 

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

Oh Jesus. Sir, you are lost. Women desire tall, rich, handsome men due to biological programming. It’s not magic. No amount of “self-control” will convince them to date short, broke ugly men. The same applies to men and our programming. The porn industry doesn’t exist for no reason. Prostitution has been around as long as men had dvcks and it ain’t going anywhere.



You’re one of these people that think the only thing a man provides is a wallet. Women need men to survive. Previous generations understood this.

Its too bad we are so far apart, I would take you to meet my brother in law who is short, fat and ugly (WAS BROKE for the majority of their marriage). His wife is a tall beautiful bombshell. They've been married longer than my wife and I have and both of us are alike, perhaps why my wife likes me.

Evil exists, doesn't mean you have to subscribe to it.

But put your money where your mouth is. I've posted REAL pics of my wife and I together...

 

[EyeBRollin]

I married a second husband who is younger, hotter, taller, more successful and objectively “better” in every way than first husband.

So right away we know everything we need to know here. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt; you are the exception to the norm. Post-wall women with children generally don’t do better than the man they made babies with. A lot of modern women are playing this game and destroying their lives.

 

[BeExcellent]

So right away we know everything we need to know here. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt; you are the exception to the norm. Post-wall women with children generally don’t do better than the man they made babies with. A lot of modern women are playing this game and destroying their lives.

Honestly I don’t disagree with you. Most women are delusional. I am an outlier in that way, certainly. Just understand that is my perspective, and I know other women who have similarly upgraded, it does in fact occur if a woman remains attractive and pleasant and sexually alluring.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Oh come on @Be, isn't that a bit extreme? Or A LOT extreme!

OP NEVER said or even suggested that is how he would present the conversation. Where did you get that?

It’s extreme to the point of being nonsensical. To think that a man’s innate urge to sexual variety means he does not care about his wife or children is a blatant admission that western society does not know or care about who men are.

 

[BeExcellent]

Oh come on @Be, isn't that a bit extreme? Or A LOT extreme!

OP NEVER said or even suggested that is how he would present the conversation. Where did you get that?

He came here to discuss. He's struggling with some deviating thoughts. He has NOT done anything and my take is he won't.

You want to call that having "poor character"?

Be my guest, I don't. I call it being HUMAN.

That IS in fact the message his wife will perceive. Whether he is open or sneaks around doesn’t matter. He is basically saying she is no longer worthy of the commitment he stood up in public and promised her,

And he thinks she should be bound by those vows while he doesn’t FEEL they apply to him anymore.

Would you keep going to work if your employer unilaterally decided to cut your pay in half & expect the same work hours & effort from you? No?

That is essentially what is happening here. It’s not going to fly.

 

[member162951]

He is basically saying she is no longer worthy of the commitment he stood up in public and promised her,

Or perhaps that is how YOU would perceive it.

I KNOW women who would not perceive it that way, and have seen it work and save marriages.

Yes, it's unconventional for SURE and not for everyone, I get that.

But he hasn't actually done anything and to say he has poor character for simply having the thought? I don't agree with that at all.

It's a "curiosity" as I said in his Wild Oats thread, he's done NOTHING and my take from reading his posts is that he won't.

 

[EyeBRollin]

That IS in fact the message his wife will perceive. Whether he is open or sneaks around doesn’t matter. He is basically saying she is no longer worthy of the commitment he stood up in public and promised her,

So in other words, she does not understand men and is demanding an unrealistic standard. Typical of the modern west.

Not saying she cannot demand that, but it’s setting this up for the inevitable failure. OP has now made two threads about this. It’s not going away. We can see where it is headed.

 

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

Or perhaps that is how YOU would perceive it.

I KNOW women who would not perceive it that way, and have seen it work and save marriages.

Yes, it's unconventional for SURE and not for everyone, I get that.

But he hasn't actually done anything and to say he has poor character for simply having the thought? I don't agree with that at all.

It's a "curiosity" as I said in his Wild Oats thread, he's done NOTHING and my take from reading his posts is that he won't.

No, it's when he acts upon it.

He has posted what he intends to do so that he can be re-affirmed by the guys here that what he's doing is right or he wouldn't respond with such aggression to the contrary. The fact is that he is about to make the biggest mistake of his life. I don't know his daughter, but as a blank slate she deserves a better father than the one he will become if he decides to do what he is proposing.

As I have previously stated, there is more to life than a new pvssy. He should look elsewhere for his entertainment in a safer venue. Perhaps spending more time with his kid teaching her something of value.

 

[member162951]

He has posted what he intends to do so that he can be re-affirmed by the guys here that what he's doing is right or he wouldn't respond with such aggression to the contrary.

What our OP has stated is this:

I have decided that staying with my wife is the right thing to do; for me, my daughter, and my wife. What I have right now, I cannot pay for.

I have also decided that I want to explore bringing other women into the relationship, but only with my wife's enthusiastic consent (say what you will of that).

Where's the aggression?

I don't see where he's been aggressive, YOU have been aggressive in your disapproval.

You can disapprove, no judgment. But why judge him?

There's nothing bad or wrong with having an open and honest conversation with his wife about it. If she's not open to the idea, he won't do it. He has made that clear.

Can't speak for anyone else but I happen to believe open and honest disclosure of feelings, even when they're not pretty is crucial to a long lasting happy marital union.

Versus keeping secrets, hiding your true thoughts and feelings and "pretending" all is well when it's NOT.

That is what destroys marriage imo - cheating, lying, pretending and keeping secrets.

To each his own.

$.02.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I don't know his daughter, but as a blank slate she deserves a better father than the one he will become if he decides to do what he is proposing.

Crossing the line with your virtue signaling. You don’t know anything about this man’s family or daughter so don’t speak on it.

That is what destroys marriage imo - cheating, lying, pretending and keeping secrets.

Where did you get this? What destroys a marriage, or any relationship is not having expectations met. Usually (in the case of marriage) that is financial, but it comes down to perceived value. We all know the people who stay in relationships with people who lie, abuse and cheat, and we know people who dump perfectly suitable and healthy partners as well.

 

[member162951]

Where did you get this? What destroys a marriage, or any relationship is not having expectations met. Usually (in the case of marriage) that is financial, but it comes down to perceived value. We all know the people who stay in relationships with people who lie, abuse and cheat, and we know people who dump perfectly suitable and healthy partners as well.

Where I got it is through observation. Observing other couples whose marriages ended due to cheating, lying, deception and hiding their true thoughts and feelings.

Not all marriages obviously and yes people do stay when there is lying, abuse and cheating and that's sad imo.

I agree with you about not having expectations met, including financial. That's huge and often aligns with lying and keeping secrets about one's financial situation before and after marriage.

There are a myriad of reasons why a marriage fails, but as I said, I personally believe cheating, lying and keeping secrets about one's true thoughts can be extremely detrimental, I have seen it AND experienced it in my own life

 

[Money & Muscle]

now you think because you are fit and making a decent income you are ENTITLED to more than the faithful woman who promised, probably in church, to be your wife and yours alone.

Ive said it a few times; I don't think I'm entitled to more women than my wife. I said that I want to be with other women too.
Didn't get married in a church - not religious.

I appreciate your input, but your base assumptions about me and my motivations are incorrect. I'm not entitled to anything but what I work for. Do I want to be with other women? yeah, of course. I'm also not willing to act on this without the willful approval of my wife (I've said this at least 3 times now).

I fundamentally do not believe that cheating is the same between men and women.

 

[Money & Muscle]

The solution for men like OP is to not get married in the first place and to openly date & have sex as you please, and that creates other issues in a man’s life.

I agree, but now that I am in this position - what do I do?

That's where this thread came from. Instead of posturing on the "defiling his marriage", advice that I can act on NOW is actually helpful.

As I've said before, I won't 'cheat' on my wife. I want to pursue bringing other women into the bedroom with us, or possibly pursuing other women on the side. Both of these require my wife's enthusiastic approval. Anything short of that, will not work.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Oh come on @Be, isn't that a bit extreme? Or A LOT extreme!

OP NEVER said or even suggested that is how he would present the conversation. Where did you get that?

He came here to discuss. He's struggling with some deviating thoughts. He has NOT done anything and my take is he won't.

You want to call that having "poor character"?

Be my guest, I don't. I call it being HUMAN.

Yeah, this is exactly what I've been saying, repeatedly. Everyone ignores that because selective outrage/moral posturing.

 

[EyeBRollin]

As I've said before, I won't 'cheat' on my wife. I want to pursue bringing other women into the bedroom with us, or possibly pursuing other women on the side. Both of these require my wife's enthusiastic approval. Anything short of that, will not work.

Good luck, brother. If you have a Western wife, this won’t happen. Or she will begrudgingly “agree” and call the divorce lawyer behind your back.

 

[member162951]

I fundamentally do not believe that cheating is the same between men and women.

If you have your wife's willful approval, it's not cheating. You're not breaking any marital vows.

Cheating in a relationship or marriage as defined is "when a person in a monogamous romantic relationship/marriage has an emotional or sexual relationship without their partner's consent."

As for your daughter, she doesn't have to know what goes on behind closed doors between mom and dad.

If she senses it as most children are extremely perceptive, and asks, then you and your wife together have a conversation with her, assuring her that she is loved and protected and that will never change no matter what happens between you and her mom.

 

[BeExcellent]

Ive said it a few times; I don't think I'm entitled to more women than my wife. I said that I want to be with other women too.
Didn't get married in a church - not religious.

I appreciate your input, but your base assumptions about me and my motivations are incorrect. I'm not entitled to anything but what I work for. Do I want to be with other women? yeah, of course. I'm also not willing to act on this without the willful approval of my wife (I've said this at least 3 times now).

I fundamentally do not believe that cheating is the same between men and women.

Fair enough. The single most important thing in your marriage or any marriage is trust. Trust underpins everything.

So that will mean you must be open & honest about your desires with her, and see how she responds.

That can go one of 3 ways (pun intended):
1. She recoils from the idea
2. She wholesale accepts the idea
3. She initially accepts the idea and then recoils later or expects quid pro quo.

It is option 3 that will bite you in the ass.

If she goes with option 1 and says she is not comfortable with that are you going to drop this whole idea and move on, or are you going keep trying to coerce her?

You must be brutally honest with yourself here. From what you have written I doubt you will accept if her answer is option 1.

And meanwhile you will have unwittingly planted a seed of latent dissatisfaction in your marriage, and that is a nasty tenacious weed with many unforeseen and unanticipated consequences.

You also are blinded by this belief that women cannot have affairs with the same wantoness and depravity of men. You could not be more wrong, and that is a beast you risk unleashing. You are tapped out after you climax. She can take d1ck after d1ck after d1ck literally and take all the climaxes that spend out the men.

Why would a woman ever want a train run on her? It’s about POWER. And she wields much more sexual power than you. Remember I told you this when she asks you to let her pull a train.

You’ll ruin your marriage because based on your content here you are utterly unprepared for the consequences of your proposal.

There is a reason history seeks to control the sexuality of women.

Give that a good hard think.

 

[member162951]

Good luck, brother. If you have a Western wife, this won’t happen. Or she will begrudgingly “agree” and call the divorce lawyer behind your back.

Not necessarily. M&M stated his wife has been with women sexually in the past, so who knows, it's quite possible SHE has been having the same thoughts!

I don't know where you live but this is NOT unheard of in my neck of the woods. It's not discussed that often because it's still considered taboo by many people, but nonetheless it still happens!

Frankly I'm shocked by all the negativity, unfair assumptions about OP's character and the bias against 'western women."

This is real life man, not a Disney movie.