One on one

[Brooks]

If she was seeing other people or had definitive interest elsewhere we wouldn’t be booking more accommodations or have plans tomorrow and all weekend. She would be bailing and flaking. Not calling me just to say hey in Monday.

She WANTS to respect and admire me. But that’s up to me if I can pull that off. Because like @Spaz said: there’s emotional attachment. And if the emotions are still there.. a lot more can come. If the emotions weren’t, I’d be a dead fish floating down stream.

 

[Brooks]

Brooks, no matter how it turns out....please let us know.

No one has the answer "for sure" but we can all learn by how it goes for you.

Keep us posted.

For sure I will.

I can redeem myself in my eyes and hers if I take the correct actions. Nothing is lost until one or both people walk away. Or cheat. Or BLATANT disrespect. The coffee with a friendzoned guy was a test like @RangerMIke and @flowtheory said. And that’s a grey area.

All I can do is control what I can and let go of the rest. If she cheated or did something lame a$$ like that, the. That’s on her. Not on me. It doesn’t make me a cuck or beta for trying to steer this ship out of the mud. That’s me owning my sh!t trough strength and awareness.
And I’ll PM Glassguy while she’s giving me a blowy south of the equator.

 

[Brooks]

Brooks, no matter how it turns out....please let us know.

No one has the answer "for sure" but we can all learn by how it goes for you.

Keep us posted.

I’ll keep it constantly updated over the Next month of July. Watch this redemption case

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Brooks, no matter how it turns out....please let us know.

No one has the answer "for sure" but we can all learn by how it goes for you.

Keep us posted.

He will keep bumping his head and learn there are certain interpersonal dynamics. It may not work how he thinks it should but he will see it exists. He needs to do the opposite of good or leave her alone.

 

[Brooks]

He will keep bumping his head and learn there are certain interpersonal dynamics. It may not work how he thinks it should but he will see it exists. He needs to do the opposite of good or leave her alone.

No. That’s game playing.

What are these interpersonal dynamics you speak of? Sometimes I feel like you just say things..

 

[mrgoodstuff]

No. That’s game playing.

What are these interpersonal dynamics you speak of? Sometimes I feel like you just say things..

Youll learn alot more game playing goes on than you previously accepted.

 

[Brooks]

Youll learn alot more game playing goes on than you previously accepted.

What?

Tell me what you mean. Enough of this speaking in riddles

 

[mrgoodstuff]

What?

Tell me what you mean. Enough of this speaking in riddles

Most of communication is persuasive or manipulation.

 

[Brooks]

Most of communication is persuasive or manipulation.

Okay.

What are you trying to say on a macro level here?

I’m confused by you, goodstuff

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Okay.

What are you trying to say on a macro level here?

I’m confused by you, goodstuff

Most people have agendas and "play games". I tried to give a way that she could desire to play your game.

 

[Brooks]

Most people have agendas and "play games". I tried to give a way that she could desire to play your game.

By casting spells and using black magic.

The only way to take their games away is to be able to walk away and assert my own value via boundaries.

I’m not in this relationship for games. So I can’t fight her games with games. That’s falling in to her frame.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

By casting spells and using black magic.

The only way to take their games away is to be able to walk away and assert my own value via boundaries.

I’m not in this relationship for games. So I can’t fight her games with games. That’s falling in to her frame.

You redefine your frame as willing participants who value you enough not to make you unhappy. She can reenter it later if you choose to let her. Trying to be stoic and stiff aint gonna help. Put your boundary in of dont do this or you'll leave, your gonna be leaving anyways.

 

[Brooks]

You redefine your frame as willing participants who value you enough not to make you unhappy.

I’ve made myself unhappy. I have her all the leeway and in turn she started to take advantage of it. Such is the feminine way. She saw weakness and exploited it. My fault.
I’m redefining my frame so this does not continue.

Visual approach would be if she’s backed me against a corner ready to squash me, I’m pushing back against the areas she’s move s in on me with. Within parts of my own self. It’s just about reclaiming what I lost. Which she actually wants me to do.

It’s a sad thing for her to watch someone who she’s emotional attached to lose himself for her. Women don’t want this.

Trying to be stoic and stiff aint gonna help.

This works in some areas. Being unreactive is some areas. Not as a whole. There will be confrontations if need be. But in calm
Manners.

Put your boundary in of dont do this or you'll leave, your gonna be leaving anyways.

Boundaries are placed so the other person doesn’t disrespect you. Without boundaries, the other person will run wherever they feel and this has a cost on the inner self.
Boundaries are about teaching.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I’ve made myself unhappy. I have her all the leeway and in turn she started to take advantage of it. Such is the feminine way. She saw weakness and exploited it. My fault.
I’m redefining my frame so this does not continue.

Visual approach would be if she’s backed me against a corner ready to squash me, I’m pushing back against the areas she’s move s in on me with. Within parts of my own self. It’s just about reclaiming what I lost. Which she actually wants me to do.

It’s a sad thing for her to watch someone who she’s emotional attached to lose himself for her. Women don’t want this.



This works in some areas. Being unreactive is some areas. Not as a whole. There will be confrontations if need be. But in calm
Manners.


Boundaries are placed so the other person doesn’t disrespect you. Without boundaries, the other person will run wherever they feel and this has a cost on the inner self.
Boundaries are about teaching.

How can you STOP her from doing what she wants to do? What will be the consequence? Youll get mad or complain?

 

[Spaz]

You'll be making a new thread, it's titled "I did everything but she still broke my heart and cheated" or "I'm the perfect guy but I saw my Ex in bed with another man, why?".

Then it's followed up by "I'm so perfect, my ex must be BPD".

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You'll be making a new thread, it's titled "I did everything but she still broke my heart and cheated" or "I'm the perfect guy but I saw my Ex in bed with another man, why?".

Then it's followed up by "I'm so perfect, my ex must be BPD".

He saw her In bed with a guy because she wanted him to see that.

 

[Spaz]

He saw her In bed with a guy because she wanted him to see that.

Of course.

 

[Brooks]

How can you STOP her from doing what she wants to do? What will be the consequence? Youll get mad or complain?

I’m not saying I can stop anything. I’m saying I can do whatever I am able to do. Full responsibility.

 

[Brooks]

You'll be making a new thread, it's titled "I did everything but she still broke my heart and cheated" or "I'm the perfect guy but I saw my Ex in bed with another man, why?".

Then it's followed up by "I'm so perfect, my ex must be BPD".

No spaz.

I will make a thread called ‘I tried to dig myself out of a hole I created, and learned much in the process: my story about renewal and self redemption even though I lost a girl I loved.’

 

[Spaz]

No spaz.

I will make a thread called ‘I tried to dig myself out of a hole I created, and learned much in the process: my story about renewal and self redemption even though I lost a girl I loved.’

Impressive.