One of the most ridiculous first date experiences I've ever had

[Serg897]

Let this be a lesson to all you newbs: women are attracted to men who know what they want and go for it right away.

Here is a case in point: I had a first date today with a woman (bit older than me - at least late 20's possibly early 30's). It went well, she had a good time, etc - we go back to where her car was parked outside of my place, and I notice something peculiar...she starts to take some clothes out.

I ask her:
"What are those for?"
"They are...for tommorow"

Here I am, baffled that this woman is actually planning to spend the night after the first date, only the third time I've ever seen her. I thought I was just going to kiss her goodnight and send her on her way, but here she is taking out the overnight supplies. I make some comments about it, then realize this entire thing is due to a huge misunderstanding: she misinterpreted something I said in our earlier conversation.

Earlier, she had lost power for the second time this week. I told her on the phone something like:
"thats okay - you wont be spending that much time at home this evening anyway"
THAT statement she took to mean that she wasnt going home tonight. AND SHE WAS GOING TO GO ALONG WITH IT.

Needless to say, when she discovered that wasn't my intention, I inadvertedly triggered the anti-slut defense, and she wasn't too keen on staying anymore.

Its okay - Im sure I'll get date #2 with this one. Just wanted to share this weird experience with the community...needless to say though, if I dont end up fvcking her later its going to be absolutely heartbreaking.

 

[f283000]

Needless to say, when she discovered that wasn't my intention, I inadvertedly triggered the anti-slut defense, and she wasn't too keen on staying anymore.

can you type the conversation? i'm really curious as to what was said between you two after she took the clothes out.

 

[Serg897]

I dont remember the exact words...we actually went into my place for a while, and there was when I guess I made the mistake (if I was going to take advantage of this) of communicating my surprise to her that she was here (I called her a modern, 21st century woman), and then joking that she was just doing it for the air conditioning.

She asked if she could shower after we kissed for a bit - I said sure - then after she came out she told me about the misunderstanding. It was then that I finally understood. She then said that she should do it "another time...when its expected"

Crazy, huh?

Im confident I'll get the second date since she repeatedly mentioned it, and she continued to be affectionate even after this came out. I also noticed she did the standard female tactic of leaving her **** at my place - her earings and necklace are still in my bathroom.

 

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

lol thats hilarious man.


And yeah...im confident you will get the second date too. She was prepared to spend the night with you for christ sake.

Good sh1t

 

[Tiguere]

You pulling our legs aren't you? Please tell us this is a joke.

 

[Serg897]

No joke.

 

[EA Gold]

What is this a sleep over, lol.

 

[jophil28]

She asked if she could shower after we kissed for a bit - I said sure - then after she came out she told me about the misunderstanding. It was then that I finally understood. She then said that she should do it "another time...when its expected"

Women take a shower at a guy's place in anticipation of having sex.
That was your cue to say," OH, well, you did go to a lot of trouble packing and all, and as long as you're here ...."

A sly grin from you and then she was toast .

 

[teacha]

talk about ****blocking yourself...

 

[Kailex]

Something strikes me odd about this girl.
So willing to stay over at a stranger's house just because she has no power?

I would have kept quiet though and acted as if the whole thing was expected.

My REAL question is (Which of course will NEVER be answered)... would she have had sex that first night or was she just using you as a "place to stay"?

Oh well.
Live and learn.

 

[2crudedudes]

Let this be a lesson to all you newbs:

Newbs shouldn't be calling other newbs "newbs"

 

[Serg897]

Sometimes not having sex on the first date is beneficial in the long run, I've found. It IS odd that she packed and everything, but this girl has always been interested in me since the day I met her, so I guess some women are willing to do things outside the norm if the attraction is high enough.

Who knows. I did ****block myself in a weird way, but it doesn't matter - she has already been contacting me and I know I will get other chances soon enough.

Newbs shouldn't be calling other newbs "newbs"

Just because we didn't have sex on the first date Im a newb huh? What should I have done differently, oh wise sage? Perhaps we should compare join dates on this website and see who is the real newb?

 

[2crudedudes]

Hm... I didn't say anything about not having sex on a first date or anything. And the fact that you joined this site earlier than me doesn't mean you know what the hell you're doing.

I'm no wise sage by any means (I do understand sarcasm however) but what I was getting at is that you weren't being sexual enough. If she felt like you were being sexually aggressive, then chances are she wouldn't have misunderstood your intentions. She would know you were hinting at sex if you had made her think about sex. Which, doesn't seem like it from your post.

 

[Serg897]

I understand being sexually aggressive and communicating myself to women as a sexual, masculine man - but I will reiterate that last night I wasn't planning on having sex with her. This whole thing caught me completely by surprise...I just wasn't ready for it.

To me sex on the first date doesn't have to happen, and I find that sometimes when you have the opportunity to have sex (after being sexually aggressive) and then DENY that opportunity often it just makes her want you more.

Its like that Seinfeld episode where George has the lady in his car that wants him to come up to her place, and George, doing the opposite of what his instinct tells him, decides against it

 

[Iceberg]

I understand being sexually aggressive and communicating myself to women as a sexual, masculine man - but I will reiterate that last night I wasn't planning on having sex with her. This whole thing caught me completely by surprise...I just wasn't ready for it.

To me sex on the first date doesn't have to happen, and I find that sometimes when you have the opportunity to have sex (after being sexually aggressive) and then DENY that opportunity often it just makes her want you more.

Its like that Seinfeld episode where George has the lady in his car that wants him to come up to her place, and George, doing the opposite of what his instinct tells him, decides against it

You don't have to explain yourself. I could see myself in your shoes being completely caught off guard at this girl thinking that she's sleeping over. What I probably would have said was "Oh cool. Yeah bring those clothes inside." Meanwhile my head is spinning because I wouldn't know where the girl got the idea that it was a sleepover.

I've missed out on easy sex on a number of occasions because of little minor things like this. It happens. You learned, and the next time you'll be ready.

 

[2crudedudes]

I understand being sexually aggressive and communicating myself to women as a sexual, masculine man - but I will reiterate that last night I wasn't planning on having sex with her. This whole thing caught me completely by surprise...I just wasn't ready for it.

To me sex on the first date doesn't have to happen, and I find that sometimes when you have the opportunity to have sex (after being sexually aggressive) and then DENY that opportunity often it just makes her want you more.

Its like that Seinfeld episode where George has the lady in his car that wants him to come up to her place, and George, doing the opposite of what his instinct tells him, decides against it

The intent of my post wasn't derision. I don't "think less of you" because you didn't fvck her on a first date. And perhaps this particular example doesn't exactly apply to what I said.

All I meant was that regardless of expectation, regardless of whether you're gonna get any today or not, she has to know you want her sexually or she's gonna throw you in the friendzone.

 

[Serg897]

Gentlemen,

Just an update with some thoughts Im having now - they are mostly bad.

Im beginning to suspect that I ****ed up with this one. I believe that because she was expecting me to ravage her that night and I didnt, that in her perception Im no longer the masculine take-charge sort of man she thought I was.

I seem to be getting less attention from her this week. Initially this didn't seem to be the case since she texted me a few times the day after our date, but this week she has been a bit more distant with me trying to set up a date with her.

She did call me yesterday like she said, and I tried to set up a date with her for Friday - she said she would get back to me and hasn't yet, despite her saying it was a simple matter of looking on her computer to see if something was scheduled that day. I've been backing off the past couple of days and haven't initiated any contact in response to this, but if what I suspect is true...then reality bites.

This leads me to suspect she is considering other options for that day. What say you guys? Am I simply being a tad paranoid?

 

[Last_straw]

Gentlemen,

Just an update with some thoughts Im having now - they are mostly bad.

Im beginning to suspect that I ****ed up with this one. I believe that because she was expecting me to ravage her that night and I didnt, that in her perception Im no longer the masculine take-charge sort of man she thought I was.

I seem to be getting less attention from her this week. Initially this didn't seem to be the case since she texted me a few times the day after our date, but this week she has been a bit more distant with me trying to set up a date with her.

She did call me yesterday like she said, and I tried to set up a date with her for Friday - she said she would get back to me and hasn't yet, despite her saying it was a simple matter of looking on her computer to see if something was scheduled that day. I've been backing off the past couple of days and haven't initiated any contact in response to this, but if what I suspect is true...then reality bites.

This leads me to suspect she is considering other options for that day. What say you guys? Am I simply being a tad paranoid?

I could be wrong but I'd say she's lost interest. I've heard the whole "I'll get back to ya" line many many times, and it never ended positively. I'd move onto other prospects if I were you.

 

[Serg897]

Harsh, but I think you guys speak the truth. I was hesitant since last month I fvcked a girl on the first date and it didn't necessarily feel good afterwards, to be honest. Empty sex for me is not always fulfilling, and just getting laid for me is not the end all/be all of things - although I did like this one a lot more than the one last month.

Its time for no contact. If she gets back to me good, if not - this one is done.

 

[f283000]

It's funny how life works sometimes. We spend all our lives trying to get women and failing miserably many times over. And the one time we finally get one or two that wont put up a fight and want to just give themselves to us we f*** things up!!!!

I had this happen to me twice already and I feel haunted and cursed by it to this day. It's like dating karma is kicking my butt because of my dating sins. It's like having an open net at the world cup and not scoring. You deserve to be punished for it.