On getting married young

[MichaelangelloB]

One more thing. I think she's kinda expecting me to ask her before too long. How do I deal with that? Just never speak of it again?

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

Originally posted by MichaelangelloB
One more thing. I think she's kinda expecting me to ask her before too long. How do I deal with that? Just never speak of it again?

If you dont want to get married and she mentions it, tell her you dont want to do it for the obvious reasons...If she gets mad and starts acting like she gonna leave you, just let her go...Its better to leave with your respect than stay on your knees...

 

[WestCoaster]

Be direct and firm

A DJ speaks his mind with confidence and conviction. Of course speak of it again, especially if she brings it up. Have confidence.

If she starts crying, let her whine, tough sh-t. This is your life you're talking about, your happiness. Her tears don't mean squat. Women should also wait until they're 30 to get married, they're also not developed emotionally to be married, thus our high divorce rate. No one knows what they're doing.

Have confidence, believe in yourself and your convictions. Heck, you just got out of high school, no one is ready for marriage then and I don't care how many examples people can give me about how it worked out for so and so ... I'm not buying it. My neighbor growing up started dating a guy in 7th grade and married him right out of high school. They have a slew of kids and both look incredibly miserable. What a bunch of fools.

Don't let women control your life, YOU control your life.

 

[cave dweller]

plans?

Here is one way to answer it:

She---"Are we going to get married soon?"
He-----"I am not ready for that, yet."

cave dweller

 

[WestCoaster]

Field test: Go to your big box store

Something I never did before I saw this site was OBSERVED married couples.

Go to the big box store this weekend and count how many respectable looking guys are getting nagged at and drug around by mean, ugly, fat women ... it will blow your mind. (Of course that's the way it is in the Northwest; a Seattle buddy of mine went to Texas for a week and said there's all these dorky looking guys at the store with HB 9's ... said it was incredible.)

Pay attention and observe, get to know some guys in their 20's who are happily single ... or guys in their 30's or 40's. I, too, almost bought the farm on the stupid get-married-young-crank-out-kids myth of happiness. I kept wising up, however, but it was more by accident than by knowledge. I got lucky.

I find people who get married young to be incredibly insecure. This is a time to be working on your career, dating all kinds of women, traveling, being FREE. I'm amazed more men don't buy into freedom more than they buy into institutionalized slavery.

Oh yeah, I forgot, our country is AFC.

 

[MichaelangelloB]

Well I was talking to my boss about it today (an older guy who's been divorsed) and he told me that marrage is like Jesus being crusified (a good analogy for Italian Catholics). He said you have to give yourself totally to that person, forsaking all others, giving up yourself in total divotion with everything you do, for the rest of your life. I was like "damn".

I'm definatly not sure I'm ready for all that, and I'm totally sure she's not, nomatter what she says.

I think I may just cut her off toatally, see if she comes crawling, and if she doesn't then go out and start pimpin.

By the way, this is the second girl who wanted to be engaged, I had another younger one last year. You think this is a good sign or a bad sign?

 

[dietzcoi]

Its a bad sign!!

WTF is up with these crazy-azz young females wanting to get married and ruin their lives?

It a product of hollywood propaganda and biological drives I guess...

I am the poster child for Westcoaster's horror scenario. Learn from me... DO NOT GET MARRIED YOUNG!

Live your life, work a good career, travel, and have fun. Fukk the "Father knows Best" crap... it is a trap that will ruin your life.

You only live once... be free, not a slave to some worthless woman and whining children...

You have been warned!

Dietzcoi

 

[cave dweller]

divorce rate

Hey,

When you get time go to google and search for current divorce rates by state, in this country.

I would guess anywhere between 50% to 57% .

Now, why in the h*ll is that?---

------------BECAUSE HALF OF THE MARRIAGES TURN INTO A LIVING NIGHTMARE!---

cave dweller

 

[WestCoaster]

Question about men being men

One thing I've noticed on this site is most guys -- even DJs -- are afraid to break up with a woman because of the drama, tears, her family, his family, etc.

I don't get it.

Men need to be men and make firm decisions that revolve around the best interests for their happiness and livelihood.

One guy on this board was advised to just ignore his gf, another guy was advised to cheat instead of confronting his gf ... what's wrong with confrontation?

Confrontation isn't pleasant, but it's a good thing. AFCs avoid the issue, ignore the woman, or cheat. Real men confront and get it over with.

Who cares about what your family or her family thinks ... they've been raised on an AFC society and know nothing, or what's in the best interest of the parties involved.

Better to be happy than not confront, stay with the woman, get married, and be miserable the rest of your life. I'm amazed at how men don't take their future happiness very seriously.

 

[Squid]

Re: Question about men being men

Originally posted by WestCoaster
One thing I've noticed on this site is most guys -- even DJs -- are afraid to break up with a woman because of the drama, tears, her family, his family, etc.

I don't get it.

Men need to be men and make firm decisions that revolve around the best interests for their happiness and livelihood.

One guy on this board was advised to just ignore his gf, another guy was advised to cheat instead of confronting his gf ... what's wrong with confrontation?

Confrontation isn't pleasant, but it's a good thing. AFCs avoid the issue, ignore the woman, or cheat. Real men confront and get it over with.

Who cares about what your family or her family thinks ... they've been raised on an AFC society and know nothing, or what's in the best interest of the parties involved.

Better to be happy than not confront, stay with the woman, get married, and be miserable the rest of your life. I'm amazed at how men don't take their future happiness very seriously.

I don't agree that it is always this simple. There are times when you are uncertain whether or not going is the right thing. There are ups and downs in every relationship. There are times when an individual may choose to stick it out in the hopes that things will get better, maybe he can fix things. Sometimes this is short sighted and sometimes things can work out. Your feelings in a LTR will flip back and forth over time, if both people realize this then they can work through it.

This site has many posts regarding high divorce rates, but it isn't always because "the woman is a bytch, etc.". Part of the problem is that people give up too soon and bail at the first sign of trouble. Sometimes people should have never gotten married in the first place. Unfortunately its difficult to know which category you belong in when you are in the middle of the situation. It's much easier to analyze things when you are on the outside looking in.

I guess what I'm trying to say is it's not fair to categorize all men in bad marriages/relationships as pu$$ies because they haven't left yet.

 

[WestCoaster]

You're right, but once you make a decision, make that decision. Don't ignore (that's what women do) and avoid the person; and don't cheat.

Just confront and get it over with, despite the tears and guilt trips that will be coming your way.

Ignoring and cheating are cowards' ways out.

 

[MichaelangelloB]

Well the wedding seems to be off! In fact so does the entire relationship.

Last night she called and recognized that I was clearly agitated by the things in our relationship, and confrontation insued (I welcomed it in fact).

After arguing for a while (I remaind calm while she cursed and whined) we came to the realization that the distance problem was too much, marrage was a joke, and that the overall timeing was off for things to work out.

I think she thought I would be crushed that it was ending, but it really pissed her off and I think hurt her that I took it so non-chalontly. The convorsation ended in her tearfully saying she loved me and would miss me a lot.

I was proud of myself for keeping a tough front, but felt pretty bad after, though I know it's all probably for the best.

I figure if she doesn't come crawling back by the weekend she's gone for good, and although it may be painful, that's probably the best situation. If she does come back, then I'll have all the hand in the relationship, though I think even taking her back wouldn't really solve anything long term at thia point.

Thanks to you guy's comments earlier I felt prepared for all this, realizing how foolish and illogical marrage would be, putting me in the right frame of mind. Thanks.

 

[WestCoaster]

It's over

Once an engagement is broken you can't go back to having a normal dating relationship, it's over. Look at it like the NFL: Once a player asks to be traded and if he's not, it's doomsday. The guy isn't playing hard anymore, the coach doesn't like him, etc.

You asked to be traded or released, it's over. Who would want her crawling back anyway. Plus, it was a long distance deal, which are never steeped in reality.

Date others, move on. This was a move beneficial to both parties. She needs to grow up and also date others and see what's out there in the world. At 19 you're still WAY too young.

 

[MichaelangelloB]

Although it may not say much about our current society or the emotional mindset of young women nowadays, do you think I should be glad that chicks see me as potential marrage material?


Opinions?

 

[WestCoaster]

I wouldn't analyze that too much

I had some gals in my early 20's who thought I was marriage material (they were nuts and desparate, I was not responsible at all at that age) and now hardly any American wenches see me this way! (Despite now I am semi-responsible.)

Here's an idea for you and all budding DJ's: Don't analyze or think what women are thinking. They have no clue, they act on emotion or what feels good at the moment. Think about your education, career, fitness, intellectual level, etc. Women are the side dish, not the main meal.

These women who think you're marriage material? It might be flattering, sure. Who knows? My guess is the women who are looking at you as marriage material are looking at many men to get the ball and chain locked on to.

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

Originally posted by MichaelangelloB
Although it may not say much about our current society or the emotional mindset of young women nowadays, do you think I should be glad that chicks see me as potential marrage material?


Opinions?

No...Why?

1. Girls are nutty as all hell...

2. Girls think marriage material is a nice guy who will do anything
for them and anything they say...

3. Marriage these days is complete sh1t...Turds that fall out of
my a$$ are better than that garbage...

Update on my friend...Well, he told her that he doesnt love her or like her at all anymore, so she took the kids and ran off somewhere...I dont know if he found her yet, I should know today...All I know is hes gonna have to pay child support...

SAY NO TO YOUNG MARRIAGE!!!!

 

[KC_Seductive]

Years from now, you will look back and say "PHEW, that was close!"

That is what I said when I ran into my ex-fiance a few years ago. I almost married her when I was in my early 20's. She wound up being very demanding and I didn't want that in my life. I couldn't see it then, but calling everything off was a blessing in disquise.

When I saw her again, we reminisced about the good times. But it was interesting how quickly her evil side re-surfaced. This
cold hearted b*tch even chuckled when I mentioned that I put my dog to sleep. (I was somehow able to overlook red flags like this when we were together.)

The more she talked, the more I realized how bitter she had become. I started to feel bad for her husband! I am soooooo glad I didn't marry her.
I'm sure I would have divorced her ass a long time ago.

You tend to overlook things to make things work. Those are usually the things that come back to haunt you.

You might get married years from now. But you will probably make a wiser choice.

 

[bp1974]

Originally posted by MichaelangelloB
Although it may not say much about our current society or the emotional mindset of young women nowadays, do you think I should be glad that chicks see me as potential marrage material?


Opinions?

No, I think you should be more concerned about why you are constantly attracted to the kinds of insecure immature girls who are desperate to get married ASAP. It is not healthy.

You only knew this one two months, is that right? Damn, you hardly even know each other's middle names by that stage and you're talking about engagements.

You've given yourself a lucky escape. I hope you don't jump into the same hole with the next girl your c*ck points you towards.

 

[MichaelangelloB]

It's not that they are immature and desperate to get married, it's that they just fall in love with me and think it's a good idea I guess.

 

[WestCoaster]

No, they're immature

Every woman under 20 is immature, and most under 30 are.