On getting married young

[MichaelangelloB]

So I'm about 20 years old and in college and have been dating a girl for not too long, but it seems we are very much in love, I stress the "it seems" part. The subject of marrage has been brought up many times, partly in jest, and it seems that all I really have to do is ask. Though, since we're both in college (different schools about an hour away) we couldn't get married for a while, but we could be engaged I suppose. These convorsations really arose this summer when she thought she was pregnant.


I really do love the girl and I guess I could see myself married to her, but we have a lot of ups and downs which make me a little unsure even if she's not.

I wanted the Mature advise on this topic rather than the younger board's because I think you may be able to offer better insight on the subject.

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

DONT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a friend who got married when he was 18 cause he got his girl pregnant...He;s gonna get a divorce from her now and he has 2 kids, so that means child support out the a$$...Funny cause he still looks and goes out with (not fukk) other girls...YOu are young...Dont do this sh1t, your are in college! There are mad girls there!

 

[M2k961]

Only get married if you don't have to be reassured whether you should or not.

 

[princelydeeds]

I'm 30 and I think I know 3 people who are still with the person they were with when they were 19. All of them are miserable!! I dont envy any of their relationships. Your girl is probably great now. Women go through changes in their 20's. Whats great now will turn into somethign new. Neither of you are done growing. At 25 both of you will be completely different. You will think differently, you will have different likes/dislikes. The world is a large place explore more of this world before making such a serious decision.

Vanilla ice cream is great but man there are som many better choices. You never know whats better until you sample a few flavors. My advice is wait!!!!. I guarantee something better will come along. At 19 you don't have enough expereince to know what you want or don't want. Thats not a put down, I've been 19, in love and so have all my friends and people on this board learn from our mistakes.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

fast forward 5-7 years....

when you do get divorced when you're in your late twenties, she will HATE YOUR GUTS for stealing her youth. now that she's a washed up Earnest Borgnine, she will reminisce about how much fun all of HER FRIENDS were having in their 'fun years', sucking all that c@ck and riding dvck and using guys and partying, years which YOU STOLE FROM HER. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.

you will suffer the wrath. you really don't want to take a risk like this do you? if kids are involved, she can make your life a living hell.

don't even think about getting married until you are at least 30. even then, don't.

are u feeling me? if not, read some of the older marriage threads on this board.

PS: talking about marriage in "jest" is the problem with the younger folks these days. said it before, the institution of marriage is a joke.

 

[MichaelangelloB]

No "If you crazy kids are in love then go for it" ? And what about just being engaged for a few years?


And who is Earnest Borgnine?

 

[cave dweller]

hold

I am 57 years old........

My advice is----Don't go there!---Do not even think about marriage until you are 28 or 30.

my 2 cents

cave dweller

 

[So Many Ways]

I honestly agree with Tom Leykis when he says that it's a bad idea to get married before age 25. I'm 29 now and I don't know if I'll ever get married myself. I agree with what's been said already.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by MichaelangelloB
No "If you crazy kids are in love then go for it" ? And what about just being engaged for a few years?


And who is Earnest Borgnine?

see my footer. READ IT TOO! that's what she will turn into. it's been said before here. old Fratanddiddy (?) would agree. where is he?

 

[cave dweller]

fishing

The first year of marriage she says:

"Where is he?" "Oh, my sweetheart went fishing with his friends today."

After a couple of years she says:

"Where is he?" "That s*n-of-b*tch is out fishing with his *ss-hole buddies again."

cave dweller

 

[MichaelangelloB]

Yeah I guess I got qualms, and maybe I'm not ready, but I feel like I gotta do something big to solidify things with her. Any ideas? Promise ring? What?

 

[WestCoaster]

Why would you want to get married at 20?

Before you get something stupid like a promise ring, could you give me just one good reason -- besides false love -- that you would want to say goodbye to your 20's, one of the greatest decades of one's life?

You have oneitis bad. You know what oneitis is, don't you?

You gotta date more and see what's out there.

Meanwhile, read nomarriage.com.

Promise rings? I can see our American society has you all twisted around. You're not thinking straight, IMO.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by MichaelangelloB
Yeah I guess I got qualms, and maybe I'm not ready, but I feel like I gotta do something big to solidify things with her. Any ideas? Promise ring? What?

how about good ole NOTHING! wake up. your time and your dvck should be plenty enough right? if it isn't, you don't want her anyway.

don't waste your money on that sh!t. buy some power tools or something. i'd bet that every dude, 100% of them, who bought a ring or something, and later got dumped or did the dumping, regretted it. yes?

don't buy her sh!t. i'm serious.

you shouldn't even be in an LTR in my opinion. man, you're a young dude. go out and experience life. fukk some chicks.

there's a reason why us older cats have a bitter side to us. been there, done that. been burned, have burned.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

I think there are enough guys on here giving you the right advice about waiting on marriage.

But, it just seems here that your one-itis trip is going to make you learn THE HARD WAY.

The HARD WAY - EMOTIONALLY, FINANCIALLY, MENTALLY, and SPIRITUALLY.

I'm sure this site will be around when you're going through your divorce in 2-3 years. I hope to GOD that this doesnt happen to you bro.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

okay, WTF?

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=58381

you never mentioned any of this drama here. you "NEED" her? no wonder you want to give her some promise ring. you've lost control of the situation.

can't help you if you don't fess up. you wasted our time. not cool.

 

[WaterTiger]

Originally posted by TooColdUlrick
see my footer. READ IT TOO! that's what she will turn into. it's been said before here. old Fratanddiddy (?) would agree. where is he?

Where's Dietzcoi? He LOVES this ripping into this kind of thing.

MichaelangelloB,

You DO NOT need to get married at your age. Don't do it till you're thirty or older. And DON'T GET THE GIRL KNOCKED UP!!!! Listen to the rest of the guys. Marriages fall apart all the time, one reason is that people marry too freaking young! Give yourself a chance to mature, to sample life.

No promise rings! That's SOOOOO High School.

 

[cave dweller]

Bill Gates

There is this great mystery out there and the person who can solve it will be richer than Bill Gates.

Why is it that?

Today this man and woman can not live without one another and yet three years from now those same two 'love birds' are standing before a judge in a divorce court?

my 2 cents

cave dweller

 

[dietzcoi]

Why in God's name would you NEED to get engaged or married at your young age? Can you give me one goal that will be accomplished by this action?

Snap out of it... you are in chumpland. Are you afraid of losing the girl? You will lose her with or without a piece of paper, only you will lose a lot more if you are married.

Don't be a fool... think with your head, not your emotions.

Do not say we didn't warn you...

Chumpism... worse than the Black Plague and spreading faster!

Dietzcoi

 

[WestCoaster]

Ah, the 20's

Man, I miss that decade. I was in better shape than today, I was dating young hotties up a storm, I had zero credit card debt, driving a bad car and proud of it, getting my career started. Wish I would've joined the Peace Corps and/or traveled more, and dated/had flings with more women.

This is a time to be CELEBRATED, not wasted. Sure, I thought I was in love at 19, then I wised up. The gal wanted to get married, too, but we were not compatible at all. Sadly at that age hormones do more talking than brain cells do thinking.

So we're the brain cells here and we're all saying: "Great a freaking clue."

Get some goals in life that don't revolve around females.

 

[MichaelangelloB]

I think I'm wiser already. See my eyes? A little more open. You guys are right it is stupid and pointless, she should buy me a friggin ring. Thanks, I like you oldsters.