"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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"On a break"

Templar

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I was dating a girl for 4 months (the proverbial woman of my dreams and all that). Last Friday I was in a bad mood and I calmly asked her to modify her behavior (e.g. only nag me two times instead of four lol) and it blew up into "we're on a break"-entirely her decision. Two strikes at least.

I started trolling for new plates (already have five potentials-two of which I'm fairly interested in), and the old girl has called me four times since Friday but hasn't left a message and no email.

Ultimately, I wouldn't mind getting back with the four month relationship after a serious attitude adjustment/repositioning on her part. My view is she was my only one at the time, and now she's moved herself down the trough (sixth in line at this time) and she needs to work to move back up. It's still tempting to contact her though, but I'm going to wait a week at least and see what she does.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Templar

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Update-she called again and finally left a message saying "I've been calling and you haven't called back...I won't call anymore and I guess its not needed for you to call me back either".

This is what I'm talking about. How hard is it to leave a civilized message saying "please call me" or even more appropriately "I'm sorry, I miss you, please spank me". Instead I get this bullsh*t thinly veiled threat/ultimatum of call me now or lose me forever.

Thoughts? Is she in the process of spinning herself crazy? Should I just let her continue to stew? Obviously, I don't have any other play here because if I call her I give her total control back.
 

zekko

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If she treats you like that, why do you want her?
Is that the kind of behavior you want in a girlfriend?
I definitely would not call her back, that gives her the frame.

I'm thinking that if you had more options, maybe you wouldn't be so hung up on this girl. So maybe you should concentrate on increasing your options. If you want to end this toxic-sounding relationship, it sounds like she's given you your out.
 

Colossus

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There is no such thing as a "break". Even if you got back with her, under your terms, you would be prolonging the inevitable. She kinda showed you her behavior in a relationship so you know what you're in store for.
 

synergy1

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what makes you think this crap is going to change? what makes you think you are going to change her at all? People in general tend to get worse in regards to their habits, not better.

You know what to do. Don't expect my peers to give you the advice you want to hear - pleading and going back to her. Its dumb and you know this :)
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Templar

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All words of wisdom guys, and it's all pretty much on target. I've seen this behavior before in her, and it's my fault for not calling it immediately. It was fun while it lasted and as Roosh might say, at least I got a flag out of it (she's Vietnamese).
 
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