"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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"On a break"

Templar

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I was dating a girl for 4 months (the proverbial woman of my dreams and all that). Last Friday I was in a bad mood and I calmly asked her to modify her behavior (e.g. only nag me two times instead of four lol) and it blew up into "we're on a break"-entirely her decision. Two strikes at least.

I started trolling for new plates (already have five potentials-two of which I'm fairly interested in), and the old girl has called me four times since Friday but hasn't left a message and no email.

Ultimately, I wouldn't mind getting back with the four month relationship after a serious attitude adjustment/repositioning on her part. My view is she was my only one at the time, and now she's moved herself down the trough (sixth in line at this time) and she needs to work to move back up. It's still tempting to contact her though, but I'm going to wait a week at least and see what she does.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Templar

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Update-she called again and finally left a message saying "I've been calling and you haven't called back...I won't call anymore and I guess its not needed for you to call me back either".

This is what I'm talking about. How hard is it to leave a civilized message saying "please call me" or even more appropriately "I'm sorry, I miss you, please spank me". Instead I get this bullsh*t thinly veiled threat/ultimatum of call me now or lose me forever.

Thoughts? Is she in the process of spinning herself crazy? Should I just let her continue to stew? Obviously, I don't have any other play here because if I call her I give her total control back.
 

zekko

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If she treats you like that, why do you want her?
Is that the kind of behavior you want in a girlfriend?
I definitely would not call her back, that gives her the frame.

I'm thinking that if you had more options, maybe you wouldn't be so hung up on this girl. So maybe you should concentrate on increasing your options. If you want to end this toxic-sounding relationship, it sounds like she's given you your out.
 

Colossus

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There is no such thing as a "break". Even if you got back with her, under your terms, you would be prolonging the inevitable. She kinda showed you her behavior in a relationship so you know what you're in store for.
 

synergy1

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what makes you think this crap is going to change? what makes you think you are going to change her at all? People in general tend to get worse in regards to their habits, not better.

You know what to do. Don't expect my peers to give you the advice you want to hear - pleading and going back to her. Its dumb and you know this :)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Templar

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All words of wisdom guys, and it's all pretty much on target. I've seen this behavior before in her, and it's my fault for not calling it immediately. It was fun while it lasted and as Roosh might say, at least I got a flag out of it (she's Vietnamese).
 
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