"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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OMG... this is the funniest thing I've ever seen on Ebay

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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GlutusMaximus86

Master Don Juan
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Originally posted by Dapper Swindler
Pretty cool. I'd buy it, but I already have $647.59 tied up in this:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5563490518
LOL some of the "questions" these buyers ask are hilarious:

Hey! I have seen the wiring diagram for one of these units, they really work, The basic idea is if you touch it while standing beside it for 24 hours, you will be one day in the future. I do not know how to get to the past though.
It's design is rather primitive, and even by looking at the technology of today, one can note that is clearly not of the future. It could be a failed attempt to get back to the future, considering that his time machine burned. However, even if you could get it to work, you would need a sufficient supply of power, which, at this day and age does not exist. But even so, time is not something that you can mess around with. The Wiseones hold that power and the Timekeepers assure it. I'm afraid that you are violating a key rule, and you may disrupt balance. I know that you're one of us; I know that you're an Occultist, one possessing secret knowledge, and experiencing its wonders, but I'm not sure if you know these rules. Time = Balance and one must know when to go back to change something or not, that's why the Wiseones are the only ones allowed to go back in time. They have earned their title and they are where they are for a reason.
If I was to win, and then I fixed it would you like me to come back and fix it for you?
Q: Hypothetically, IF the machine made toast, would it have a dark/light setting so I could vary the toastiness of my toast, and I suppose a good follow on question is, if my toast were to get burnt, could I jump back a few minutes in time and make the setting lighter?
Q: Hi, my friend bought this off you tomorrow, we managed to get it working, many thanks. Mike.
Q: hi will you consider a buy it now and i will pay for it yesterday,when i fix it
Q: Is it possible to get Marty McFly to deliver the time machine to me in person?
And for the last question:

Is it safe to have sex with?
Now that I've pissed away half an hour of my life I'm gonna go bid on that time machine and get that half hour back.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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LuvMyArmyMan

Master Don Juan
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I have my new millionare strategy: Buy old random parts. Write letters and take black and white pics. Sell on ebay claiming it is a broken time machine and the letters and pictures are from the guy that traveled through time. Get over $600 a pop for them.
 
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