Older Woman Wants me to be More Open

jaymbrs

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She's spending cash and fvcking on demand. He can still do his thing but he has a reliable support.
Some of these guys are acting like being alone is better than what I currently have with this woman. I have to filter out so much of the garbage advice I get on here.
 
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Die Hard

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She's trying to get you to become more emotionally attached to her. Obviosuly, you should not play along because you are gonna get burned if you develop more of an emotional connection to her.

But she's gonna keep playing this game, she'll keep bringing it up and everytime you refuse to play along, she will withdraw from you. So everytime she pulls back, you'll invest a liiiiiiiiiittle more in her, just enough to make her "happy" again but not enough to get yourself in trouble. But 20 times 'a liiiiiiitle' equals to A LOT........ She sinks her hooks into slowly, man...without you realizing it, you are getting more emotionally attached to her...

So stay firm and resolute. Don't play along, just don't. Like you said yourself, she accepts you like you are or she moves on from you. Be prepared for her to move along, accept that this might happen and that you'll be ALONE then. Don't let the thought of being alone make you compromise yourself!

It is not better to be alone than to be with her... Unless being with her requires you to play along with her game!! In that case it is definitely better to be alone! Get it?
 

Die Hard

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By the way, give us an update please? Been almost two weeks since you started this thread, I'm sure a lot has happened in the relationship between you and her during this time.
 

jaymbrs

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By the way, give us an update please? Been almost two weeks since you started this thread, I'm sure a lot has happened in the relationship between you and her during this time.
Well it's no relationship. Just hanging out here and there. Fun story, I watched an NFL playoff game on Saturday with some friends and had a few while she did her own thing. I went to her place afterwards and she offered to drive me to the bar to grab a drink with her. She ended up paying the tab then drove us back to her place to where I spent the night. The next day she paid for my breakfast and coffee. I'm not oblivious to what she's trying to do but I am enjoying this while it's in my favor.
 

wifehunter

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Don’t fall for that one. Been there seen that. They play like they are ‘different’ and want you to be ‘open’ with them. It’s a sh!t test. When you open up it backfires in your face. They lose respect and eventually attraction for you. Keep your frame and stay the course. Don’t fall for one of the oldest traps in the book.
The word 'bewitched', comes to mind.
 
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longtail

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Some of these guys are acting like being alone is better than what I currently have with this woman. I have to filter out so much of the garbage advice I get on here.
The terms "hot" and "37 year old female" are usually mutually exclusive. Women start losing their looks early to mid 30's. And that's if they're lucky since it can happen years earlier. Are you grading on a curve?

You've made your decision. But you're not ok with hearing contrarian views even if they only reflect your own very real concerns about becoming emotionally attached to a lower status woman, which you already are:

You: hey guys I'm becoming emotionally attached. I know it's not good (maybe I should explore my options)

Forum: yeah, you are. Best to explore your other options

You: WHY ARE YOU SAYING I'M BECOMING EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED?!? SUCH SH1TTY FEEDBACK! WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME TO EXPLORE MY OPTIONS?!? SUCH SH1TTY ADVICE!

Unfortunately, as with bigdave17, this forum is only here to tell you exactly what you want to hear lest you become terribly triggered and irate. Your lack of composure is the problem.

You sound almost as unbalanced and unhinged as bigdave17. She's clearly got her hooks into you. So much so that you are becoming enraged at men who are simply acting as sounding board reflecting your own worries! This is the way someone acts who either:

1. has few options

2. is a newbie to relationships and can't handle the conflicting emotions relationships generate (the need for independence vs need for connection. You are 32, but acting like an adolescent.

You can have sex with her (if that is happening you are reluctant to say so) and not play her games. That's all you've ever been saying and that's all the forum has been saying, nothing more.
 
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jaymbrs

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The terms "hot" and "37 year old female" are usually mutually exclusive. Women start losing their looks early to mid 30's. And that's if they're lucky since it can happen years earlier. Are you grading on a curve?

You've made your decision. But you're not ok with hearing contrarian views even if they only reflect your own very real concerns about becoming emotionally attached to a lower status woman, which you already are:

You: hey guys I'm becoming emotionally attached. I know it's not good (maybe I should explore my options)

Forum: yeah, you are. Best to explore your other options

You: WHY ARE YOU SAYING I'M BECOMING EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED?!? SUCH SH1TTY FEEDBACK! WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME TO EXPLORE MY OPTIONS?!? SUCH SH1TTY ADVICE!

Unfortunately, as with bigdave17, this forum is only here to tell you exactly what you want to hear lest you become terribly triggered and irate. Your lack of composure is the problem.

You sound almost as unbalanced and unhinged as bigdave17. She's clearly got her hooks into you. So much so that you are becoming enraged at men who are simply acting as sounding board reflecting your own worries! This is the way someone acts who either:

1. has few options

2. is a newbie to relationships and can't handle the conflicting emotions relationships generate (the need for independence vs need for connection. You are 32, but acting like an adolescent.

You can have sex with her (if that is happening you are reluctant to say so) and not play her games. That's all you've ever been saying and that's all the forum has been saying, nothing more.
Lol okay buddy.
 

Die Hard

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And although I've told her on several occasions that I am interested in more than a fling, I feel she needs this reassurance done on a daily freakin basis.
Were you lying to her when you told her that?
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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mmmm being open on what?

Dont be an open book on most stuff. Her being a little insecure might be good for you.


37 divorce 2x dont get attach
Plus 1.

I dont get why guys date cratered SMV.
 
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Spaz

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Plus 1.

I dont get why guys date cratered SMV.
Only way this even makes any sense is either a man has no other options or has been rewired to accept expired goods. The former can be worked on. It's the latter that's a b1tch to get rid off.

The feminine imperative is so pervasive that it has basically rewired society - men into mere tools.

It gets worst when men themselves are giving a multitude of reasons as to why an oldie is hot and viable.

It's right in front of their eyes and yet they're blind. Pitiful.
 

markfromeurope

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Some of these guys are acting like being alone is better than what I currently have with this woman. I have to filter out so much of the garbage advice I get on here.
Right, because dating 37y old woman with children is such an incredible achievement and pretty much God's intervention on your side.

Get the phuck out from here mate, you will get smarter only by putting hand into the fire. Come back when you will develop some balls.
 

jaymbrs

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Right, because dating 37y old woman with children is such an incredible achievement and pretty much God's intervention on your side.

Get the phuck out from here mate, you will get smarter only by putting hand into the fire. Come back when you will develop some balls.
Lol

My point, a$$hole, was that it's better to have some ***** around than not. I never once said dating a 37 year old was an "incredible achievement". You sound like a chick exaggerating everything.
 
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Die Hard

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jaymbrs, just ignore posts that make you feel pissed off. Just take from the forum what you deem positive and ignore what you deem negative.

Anyway, could you answer my earlier question about lying?
 
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longtail

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I've recently started seeing a woman who is 37 years old, divorced twice and has a teenage daughter. I've never been married nor have any kids. She's very open when we speak, plays no games, literally feels like she's letting me read her play book, if you will. I'm naturally not a very open person. I've been told I'm very hard to read and most women actually enjoy that about me. However this one is essentially telling me she's into me and wants to continue dating but she needs some reassurance on her end that I legitimately like her as well and would like me to be more open and honest with her. And although I've told her on several occasions that I am interested in more than a fling, I feel she needs this reassurance done on a daily freakin basis. Otherwise she starts to get insecure and hides back in her shell. I really don't like this however this is the oldest woman I've dated and looking for advice on how to continue this. Is this the norm with older women? This is unfamiliar territory for me as most women I date play the song and dance portion of dating and I guess I've gotten used to that.
Let's get back to the original post. The problem that we've all pointed out to you is that she has manipulated you so that you're emotionally invested in her.

This has embarrassed you and has you backtracking. However, your wildly emotional, defensive attacks on others shows that you we've hit a nerve and you are in fact attached. She played you. It happens to the best of us.

So take a step back emotionally. The best way to do that is to start pursuing other options. Hotter, perhaps a touch less manipulative. They're out there. Good luck!
 
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jaymbrs

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Were you lying to her when you told her that?
Her and I had some common interests from the jump so I'm open to more than a fling. So I would say I was not lying. But we all know these things can change.
 

Die Hard

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Her and I had some common interests from the jump so I'm open to more than a fling. So I would say I was not lying. But we all know these things can change.
So what's your position now at this moment? Are you still interested in more than a fling or has it changed?
 

jaymbrs

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So what's your position now at this moment? Are you still interested in more than a fling or has it changed?
It's progressing. She's stayed over a couple of nights and I did the same. Taking things 1 day at a time. She's really laid back like I am so we generally go out to watch some games and have a few beers.
 
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