Good_ol_boy
Senior Don Juan
She's done something you haven't...She's moved on!
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Old Relationship-Emailed her
- Thread starter Good_ol_boy
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Hmm...
Five years is a long time my friend! She has moved on.
In other words she doesn't give a rat's asss about you, you had your chance and you blew it, but stop beating yourself up over it thats partof life you live and you learn.
Edited out: after reading your second post!
Sayno'
P.S.
Do you think that you would be happy if she gave you another chance?
Something tells me that you wouldn't. I think your dealing with major deppresion and no woman is going to solve that!
Five years is a long time my friend! She has moved on.
In other words she doesn't give a rat's asss about you, you had your chance and you blew it, but stop beating yourself up over it thats partof life you live and you learn.
Edited out: after reading your second post!
Sayno'
P.S.
Do you think that you would be happy if she gave you another chance?
Something tells me that you wouldn't. I think your dealing with major deppresion and no woman is going to solve that!
Those two sentences pinpoint the crux of your problem.
You are bored and lonely.
I suspect that you may not have alot of women to interact with at this time in your life. So like a lonely child who creates imaginary friends, you're creating imaginary relationships with women from your past.
If you're anything like I once was, you don't have much confidence in your ability to attract other women. This must change in order for you to successfully get over this girl.
Possible solutions:
- bulk up
- cut up
- boot camp for the mature man (cold approaches, etc.)
- make NEW friends, male and female
- expand social network
- attend parties, mingle, socialize
- internet dating (only as a small supplement to real life dating)
The main thing is to improve your physical appearance, then place yourself in as many social surroundings as possible. Not necessarily to play the numbers game, but rather to develop a personality and character that women will find universally attractive.
Basically, stop playing email games with yourself and live for today.
Hope that helps.
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NewMan
Master Don Juan
I was in a simular situation to some extent.
2.5 yrs on - I still think about her on occasion - but I've grown to see that I'm actually happier now that I was then. I've grown to understand that I create my own reality - and it's your world you live in not hers.
I'm in a different place than I was 2 yrs ago - and I'm got going back to it for anyone. Period.
Now, the funny part of it, is that she still calls me reguarly - and even suggests we meet (she now live out of town - and suggested I go meet he when she was away on work (away from her husband)).
Of course I have not gone to meet her - and have no intention of it. I have seen her when she comes back into town - but she must make the effort and see me when and where I want. I control what does or doesn't happen.
Anyways, your problems are:
1) you didn't have the balls to ask her to coffee when you talked to her.
2) you emailed her asking her to go and meet you.
3) you put way to much effort and time into this girl.
4) your living in the past.
5) your with a chick that doesn't do it for you.
6) you believe that somehow this girl will make your life perfect. Sorry it's not going to happen.
You've got to come back to reality bud and focus on the present.
2.5 yrs on - I still think about her on occasion - but I've grown to see that I'm actually happier now that I was then. I've grown to understand that I create my own reality - and it's your world you live in not hers.
I'm in a different place than I was 2 yrs ago - and I'm got going back to it for anyone. Period.
Now, the funny part of it, is that she still calls me reguarly - and even suggests we meet (she now live out of town - and suggested I go meet he when she was away on work (away from her husband)).
Of course I have not gone to meet her - and have no intention of it. I have seen her when she comes back into town - but she must make the effort and see me when and where I want. I control what does or doesn't happen.
Anyways, your problems are:
1) you didn't have the balls to ask her to coffee when you talked to her.
2) you emailed her asking her to go and meet you.
3) you put way to much effort and time into this girl.
4) your living in the past.
5) your with a chick that doesn't do it for you.
6) you believe that somehow this girl will make your life perfect. Sorry it's not going to happen.
You've got to come back to reality bud and focus on the present.
Heretolearn
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2005
- Messages
- 575
- Reaction score
- 7
GREAT POSTS newman and survivor!!!!!!!!!!
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
WestCoaster
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 8, 2003
- Messages
- 2,028
- Reaction score
- 31
She's f--king MARRIED, whether YOU think she's happy or not, she's f-n married and married women don't often return e-mails to ex-boyfriends and most don't want to go to coffee. There are exceptions, this isn't one of them.
Two years of depression over a woman? Ugh! God, after 6 months don't you think it's freaking time to move on with your life? And there is ZERO scientific evidence that the rule that it takes you twice as long to get over a relationship from the time you were in it. That's as big a myth as the two months salary B.S. for a wedding ring.
Please, shake yourself. Don't take any AFC advice here, go out and date anything with a pulse and try to get to double figures in dates within a month.
Pining over an ex-gf from five years ago who is MARRIED is sadly one of the most wimpy things I've ever heard about in my life.
What ever happened to the testosterone on this board?
Two years of depression over a woman? Ugh! God, after 6 months don't you think it's freaking time to move on with your life? And there is ZERO scientific evidence that the rule that it takes you twice as long to get over a relationship from the time you were in it. That's as big a myth as the two months salary B.S. for a wedding ring.
Please, shake yourself. Don't take any AFC advice here, go out and date anything with a pulse and try to get to double figures in dates within a month.
Pining over an ex-gf from five years ago who is MARRIED is sadly one of the most wimpy things I've ever heard about in my life.
What ever happened to the testosterone on this board?
Remember this sentence, don't ever do this again, if you still have feelings for her (because you obviously do).
[/quote]
Why do you need to mail?
Why do you keep mailing if she doesn't answer the first time?
Why are you asking questions?
Why do you even care?
3 billion women available, why are you still stubborn on this one after so many years?
Do you see what I mean??
Haven't you dated other women in the meanwhile? Why haven't you forgotten about her?
stop asking questions & leave her alone.
peace.
AbsoluteFreakinChump
Master Don Juan
Dude!
Dude! Your current gf is pregnant w/Your baby and you're still trying to get-back with your MARRIED ex?
You gotta get your head examined!
Dude! Your current gf is pregnant w/Your baby and you're still trying to get-back with your MARRIED ex?
You gotta get your head examined!
WestCoaster
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 8, 2003
- Messages
- 2,028
- Reaction score
- 31
Thugo, sorry, but you're a disgrace to manhood. Your gf is pregnant and you're hoping to get back together with a gal from your past who is married.
You're one f-cked up dude. Get some psychotherapy, ASAP. You're not being a man, you're being an irresponsible clown who is giving men a bad name.
The last thing we need in this country is more unwanted pregnancies, irresponsible men, and men who won't raise their kids properly.
Sheesh, wake up.
You're one f-cked up dude. Get some psychotherapy, ASAP. You're not being a man, you're being an irresponsible clown who is giving men a bad name.
The last thing we need in this country is more unwanted pregnancies, irresponsible men, and men who won't raise their kids properly.
Sheesh, wake up.
speedo_meme
Banned
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2005
- Messages
- 497
- Reaction score
- 3
West, don't waste your posts for this chump. I've b1tch-slapped his ass so many times it isn't funny. He's just a dumbass through and through, no intellect, just a worthless fukk...
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
either she did or her best friend or momma or her new lover did.
imagine all your stuff in the dump with a ton of spegetti leftovers and a couch and god knows whatelse on top.
now, move forward.
TooColdUlrick
Master Don Juan
it's always interesting to see just how pathetic some dudes are. good luck with all that, Thugo.