Old flame/ teenage sweetheart.

[Rainman4707]

Was seeing a girl when i was 14/15. In a LTR with her for 9 months. Kissed another girl behind her back once. Near the end lost interest in her & started trying to see other girls. Then i ended things with her. That was 19 years ago. She could be one of two girls that i have ever loved.

I have checked her face book a few times over the years, but decided not to pursue anything with her.

Last weekend i decided i would meet up with her to see what she was like now. She accepted my invite. We had a catchup. Before she left we had a kiss & a cuddle.

I contacted her next day to arrange another meet... this is the convo :-

Me :-
I'm on an easy job tomorrow night..have the place to myself...so you could call over for a cup of tea. Am not trying for sex, just a chat, like last night

Her :- Hey, thanks for reassuring me, you're as nice as I remember you being. I'm thinking we seem to be on different pages with what we're looking for, so it might be kinder to us both not to keep meeting? I'm pleased you asked me though, it was lovely catching up, I enjoyed seeing you again xx

Me:- What you looking for? x


Her : Looking for something that might have a future, much like your ex, from what you said. x

(the night before , when we met, she asked about my previous relationship. I told it did'nt work out. My ex was wanting more commitment & i was'nt ready.)

Me- I was ****ing stupid letting you go. Biggest mistake of my life. I was young & daft.


I will try my best to give you everything you desire, if you can find it in your heart to give me one last chance.


Her :- Fifteen year old me would've given anything to have heard that from you, you know. I got over that heartache a very long time ago though, there's honestly no hard feelings now.

In the last 10 years I've learnt people don't change for others, only when they're ready for it for themselves. I've been flattered and hooked with promises of trying to change for me before. I want to believe it was meant genuinely, but in the end I'm always the one left hurt and disappointed, told I'm expecting too much.

I think people are happiest when they move at their own pace and find someone who fits in well with that pace, naturally.


Im thinking she is'nt interested. Shes met me & decided..i'm not for her. She is an accountant & im a security guard. I think this could be her way of letting me down gently.

I do want a family & kids, if i meet the right girl. God, feel like she is taking it a bit overboard - just because i wont commit to one girl dose'nt mean i wont commit to another. Like i mentioned earlier though. This could just be a cover, for her lack of interest.

I'm aware i'm being soppy with her, but i feel like i fu*ked things up with her when i was younger & would do anything for another chance. I'm aware this soppy mentality could result in her thinking im a wuss, but dont want to leave things without telling her how gutted i feel about what i did. Maybe she has forgiven me, after all..she met up with me & kissed me. Would she do that if she was still pis*ed with me. Maybe she is ok with me because it has been 19 years since we broke up. I'm just writing my thoughts...as could do with someone elses input, as i have just been thinking about all this myself for the last week.

She told me on our meetup that her ex wouldnt commit to her, he was'nt ready to have kids & marriage with her.

I was so loyal & trustworthy with my last GF. I believe i am so loyal & trustworthy now. Don't believe in cheating whilst in LTR. I would give my own life for a girl that i am with.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

This is softtttttt as ****. Dude, I can hear her vagina getting dry as we speak.

Man up. Beat it rotten and reclaim some sort of masculinity here. Christ!

 

[Machine10033]

Here is some advice. Your first love is amazing! It’s euphoric, it’s comfortable, it’s like the first time you and another person connect emotionally and sexually! If your like me it was a time when things were simple! I had my family, I was in highschool, the world was for the taking! You are chasing a dragon and you really don’t want your first love back! You want that time period back! So do I..... I had the chance to get back with my first love and after thinking about things I realize she was not what I was longing for! It was those heightened emotions and the thrill of all the firsts we had together! We never get that back man.... there is a reason you two didn’t work.

 

[Desdinova]

Was seeing a girl when i was 14/15. In a LTR with her for 9 months. Kissed another girl behind her back once. Near the end lost interest in her & started trying to see other girls.

In other words, you alpha-widowed her. She verifies this later in your conversation. You could have easily had this chick back and had her eating out of your hand. However, you made some terrible errors in how you tried to seduce her back. I shall point them out for you...

Me :-
I'm on an easy job tomorrow night..have the place to myself...so you could call over for a cup of tea.

This is where you should have ended the sentence. Instead, you fvcked it up with this:

Am not trying for sex, just a chat, like last night

What makes you think she didn't want to fvck you? If she had any ideas of fvcking your brains out, you just shot them down. You decided you just wanted to be her FRIEND instead of her lover.

I'm thinking we seem to be on different pages with what we're looking for, so it might be kinder to us both not to keep meeting?

In other words, she says, "I have enough orbiters. I need a MAN who's not afraid to put his D1CK in me and fill me so full of cvm that I'm leaking for the next week. So don't waste my time being my orbiter".

I'm pleased you asked me though, it was lovely catching up, I enjoyed seeing you again xx

At this point, the conversation was over and you should have deleted her number. Instead, you got all fvcking needy and started grovelling at her feet...

Me- I was ****ing stupid letting you go. Biggest mistake of my life. I was young & daft.

I will try my best to give you everything you desire, if you can find it in your heart to give me one last chance.

At this point, everyone reading this post has started vomiting onto their keyboard. You not only ruined your chance to fvck this chick and maybe even made her your companion, you permanently kicked her ass straight out of your dating options.

Don't do that again.

 

[Chi Town]

Me- I was ****ing stupid letting you go. Biggest mistake of my life. I was young & daft.


I will try my best to give you everything you desire, if you can find it in your heart to give me one last chance.

Lmmfaoooo!!!

 

[Rainman4707]

Thanks for input. Much appreciated.

I treated her bad by meeting up with & messaging other birds before i finished her. I have to make amends for that!
What is the alternative? I dont know any boyfriend or husband who played dirty, not try to make it up to his wife/GF.
I'm aware it's been 19 years, but i feel/think i still have to make up for it, especially since after meeting up with her, i remember how much i like her.

I dont understand what Deezedbrahs is trying to tell me in his post? if you play dirty on a woman, dont try to show her how much she means to you, make it up or apologise, just man the fu*k up!?

@ machine :- I hear what your saying brother, but i understand that i'm not looking to relive my past.. ..it's just dawned on me the last week, how much i like this girl. I'm fully aware that if she does agree to give me a chance with her (which i have great doubt) that there is a high chance things wont work out, as in maybe we are'nt suited.

 

[AttackFormation]

Thanks for input. Much appreciated.

I treated her bad by meeting up with & messaging other birds before i finished her. I have to make amends for that!
What is the alternative? I dont know any boyfriend or husband who played dirty, not try to make it up to his wife/GF.
I'm aware it's been 19 years, but i feel/think i still have to make up for it, especially since after meeting up with her, i remember how much i like her.

I dont understand what Deezedbrahs is trying to tell me in his post? if you play dirty on a woman, dont try to show her how much she means to you, make it up or apologise, just man the fu*k up!?

@ machine :- I hear what your saying brother, but i understand that i'm not looking to relive my past.. ..it's just dawned on me the last week, how much i like this girl. I'm fully aware that if she does agree to give me a chance with her (which i have great doubt) that there is a high chance things wont work out, as in maybe we are'nt suited.

Your OP reads like a caricature of the blue pill. It's like you were going to show the extreme of how a blue pill guy sabotages his own frame, but then you forgot to put in the red pill perspective and the explanation in the end that it was a comparison.

I honestly don't know if you can salvage this situation anymore after what you said to her. I was starting to type out that the only thing you can do is to stop contacting her at all, hope she minimizes it away and then reaches out to you again at which point you'd have smacked yourself awake into a better frame.... but the supplication you unleashed on her was bad enough that it may have permanently affected your frame with her.

That's the tragedy of the blue pill, its best of intentions like you had are what create its own problems. I think you ruined the frame with this woman, probably for good to a greater or lesser extent as she will never forget this, and the only way you could even hope to salvage it is to somehow reverse the frame into a 180 so that in her brain it's as if this never happened or that it was a split personality of yours and not the "real" you who did it.

One thing is for certain... STOP contacting her. Don't reach out to her. Don't entertain her. You are in a state of mind that will only further self-sabotage your frame with this woman if you keep talking to her on your own accord. She is going to need time for her mind to process whether she can ever see you as a man again, and if she can.... she will reach out, at which point you can behave the right way, and hope that it works enough to mend the damage.

 

[Ranger]

There’s not much to say on this. DEE put the hammer down on you and he was right. He said you went all soft and basically cut your own balls off.
You should have hammered her down. She went to see you to see if the magic was still there. No other reason. She wanted you to sweep her off her feet and fuk her good.

There’s a lot of mistakes in what you did. Desdinova covered them. The question you should be asking is...”What is it about what I did and said that sabotaged my chances?”

“What is it that I missed?”
“Is there something underneath all of this that I don’t know?”

If you had approached it like you did 19 years ago, her panties would have come off like silk. What is it about this situation that you aren’t sure about?

Trust me when I tell you that she has trashed more men than you can shake a stick at since those days. Never, ever apologize for that again.

Now, how can we help?

 

[wifehunter]

TLDR but here's a hot gif:

 

[Spaz]

Holy smokes man !

During ur 6 years on SS one might think he has learned something.

A thread on frame is needed, OP you're in dire need of learning this.

Too much emphasis is put on techniques.

People need to understand it's their frame that influences their techniques when put to the test.

 

[Ranger]

Holy smokes man !

During ur 6 years on SS one might think he has learned something.

A thread on frame is needed, OP you're in dire need of learning this.

Too much emphasis is put on techniques.

People need to understand it's their frame that influences their techniques when put to the test.

Eight years? I don’t have the words.

 

[Rainman4707]

I never act like this!! Have'nt messaged a woman like that since 2013! I'm aware that i made a mistake in how i handled this! I was trying to make up for what i done 19 years ago..instead of being who i am today.

The following will sound strange to most (maybe all) of you. I have already explained why i acted the way i did, but their was another contributing factor. I have been noticing couples that look similar to each other, like a female version of themselves & it made me think that it could be fate that those couples were together. I thought maybe we are meant to be together. Just before i was thinking about sending her the first message...i got a phonecall telling me i would be working in an area where she lives (i've never worked in that area before) So, that's part of the reason, i acted the way i did.
I see to much hurt in the world to rely on anything like religion or fate. I make my own luck. However i cannot help but feel that i've been to lucky in life. It's as though i have a spirit looking out for me.



There were two more messages sent to each other

The following conversation :-

Me :- You say there is no hard feelings, but I want to make it up to you, for the way i treated you at end of our relationship. Near the end of our time together there was lasses in your year kept telling me bad things about you, telling me i should go with there friends instead. . I still take full responsibility though. Must of been me who made the final call. I've said for a long time that i wanted a family & kids. That is what i want. It didnt work out with my ex

Her :- Christ, the girls at my school really were awful. It was a long time ago, and we were just kids. Your apology does mean a lot to me though, and all is forgiven. I still think we should go our separate ways, but I hope you get all of what you want in your future. I wish you every happiness. xx

 

[GT40]

Lmmfaoooo!!!

Barf. Barf.

 

[GT40]

Dude. After that crap you texted, you proved to her she’s way out of your league. She’s a CA now. Educated. Looking for men of equal or higher status. She nexted you easy and let you down too