Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Old flame back in the picture - how to handle?

dude99

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
2,191
Reaction score
2,456
Age
47
best aproach was if he not even considerating since he already have others plates.

my answer to old flames are always just toss water over it and move on, remember the issue with make it end, yeah don't matter what that didn't change so move on,
I completely agree. My attitude is one chance per lifetime. If you blow yours don't come back because the answer is always no.

I told him to proceed with complete indifference because he was already engaging her. So since he already engaged best approach is IDGAF
 

lamath

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2018
Messages
2,837
Reaction score
2,745
Age
39
Location
Canada
unfortunately a proper date is not possible due to lockdown, a walk is the best thing possible.
One more reason to not give her time and attention.
Most than likely she is just looking to feed her ego with male attention and dont want it to go farther.

When lock down is over you invite to come with you somewhere without much chit chat.
 

Focal core

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2017
Messages
959
Reaction score
673
Age
39
It sounds like youre her backburner, to say that youre not her first choice, just have fun with her when she lit again again and again.
 

Focal core

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2017
Messages
959
Reaction score
673
Age
39
Why do people keep saying this? I have two dates with two different women set up for this upcoming weekend. If they're interested they aren't going to care about Covid-19 protocols.
Yeah they dont and i do care for my life, if they dont care about their own health do you think she will hesitate to passed on any diseases she might carry to you? Live wise, dont be dumb.
 

Barrister

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
218
Reaction score
220
Age
34
Yeah they dont and i do care for my life, if they dont care about their own health do you think she will hesitate to passed on any diseases she might carry to you? Live wise, dont be dumb.
By that rationale everyone should just stop ever dating anyone they don’t know until we know if there’s a vaccine for Covid-19? No thanks. And to insinuate if she’s willing to go out right now she may be willing to pass on an STD is at best a major stretch.
 

image

"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"

Xanderson

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 12, 2020
Messages
31
Reaction score
29
Age
37
Hope everyone is managing to stay healthy - I'll try to keep this brief.

I dated this girl for a couple of months last spring (OLD), before she became distant and suggested we stay friends. I had become a bit too invested, maybe even developed oneitis, and might have come a bit too strong so you can say I had that coming.

We matched again last summer and just had a casual convo and left it there. She has been liking some photos that I've uploaded from recent holidays too.
On the weekend, she texted me on the app again after months, we made some chit chat, I kept it pretty cool with good responses cos I don't feel there's anything at stake now anyway.

Now, I recently texted another girl that I dated last year (she also broke it off) to get a drink and catch up on a completely friendly basis just to see what she is up to after I saw her randomly on the street. We ended up having sex after the drinks and have been since then, so I am feeling kinda hot now and want to try it again with this one.

What do you think the best approach is here? She told me she's coming back from her home town on the weekend so I thought to either text her then and suggest we go for a walk or something (unfortunately no drinking potential atm due to lockdown), or let a couple of weeks pass and do it then? We playfully said that we can go for a distanced walk to catch up again.

I anticipate you might say I should leave it and that she will reach out if she is interested, but I am seeing this from a nothing to lose approach. I don't care what the response will be, and I have a number of plates available at the moment anyway, I just want to give it a go and see what happens cos I don't see a any downside here.
Smash and run !
 

Glassguy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 25, 2016
Messages
3,615
Reaction score
5,957
Age
43
Why do people keep saying this? I have two dates with two different women set up for this upcoming weekend. If they're interested they aren't going to care about Covid-19 protocols.
I have just been having them come to my house. First "date", second "date", etc. No worries about going out for drinks, spending money, the hassle of meeting up....

Covid19 has made it EASY for me.
 

EyeOnThePrize

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2019
Messages
645
Reaction score
872
Age
29
when a woman contacts you

1)presume she is just checking you still fancy her......

2) presume she has lost one of her 100 orbiters and the 99 needs topping back up

act accordingly
he's already smashed her so he was never an orbiter. and having this mindset of 'shes seeking an orbiter' is instantly putting you at a disadvantage, it's a weak frame of mind. why even consider putting yourself in that box? why care about what she does with other men? when you know you're hot shiit you dgaf about that. propose something, if she flakes or declines nbd, nothing lost.

@MrEkko you're overthinking this. think of something fun to do and propose she come along like @Dash Riprock suggested. i wouldn't say it word for word like he pitched though, i'd keep it simple, 'hey going on a short hike saturday, hmu if you wanna come.' polarize her and move on. she'll either make an excuse or come along. if she comes along have a fun hike and feel her out.

ideally you do things that you would normally do without her, not things just to invite her along. that instills the abundance mindset of 'theres nothing to lose' and will create natural aversion to women that aren't interested.
 

Focal core

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2017
Messages
959
Reaction score
673
Age
39
By that rationale everyone should just stop ever dating anyone they don’t know until we know if there’s a vaccine for Covid-19? No thanks. And to insinuate if she’s willing to go out right now she may be willing to pass on an STD is at best a major stretch.
The key to date in this climate are with someone who value their self-worth, who care for themselves above anything elses always best without being destroyed emotionally or physically, i found out even an escorts has better awareness than the street next door girls, they run and hide from clients at this point of time.
 

Barrister

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
218
Reaction score
220
Age
34
The key to date in this climate are with someone who value their self-worth, who care for themselves above anything elses always best without being destroyed emotionally or physically, i found out even an escorts has better awareness than the street next door girls, they run and hide from clients at this point of time.
I don't necessarily disagree with anything you just said (although I am not using any escorts ha). I am certainly not saying to go out and just be completely careless. Merely that the idea that the dating world has come to a complete stop because of the coronavirus is false. You can still get dates with women (and women still WANT to go on dates).
 

Focal core

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2017
Messages
959
Reaction score
673
Age
39
I don't necessarily disagree with anything you just said (although I am not using any escorts ha). I am certainly not saying to go out and just be completely careless. Merely that the idea that the dating world has come to a complete stop because of the coronavirus is false. You can still get dates with women (and women still WANT to go on dates).
Youre preaching about million years of biological needs between human.. Thats basic human nature, not all of us couldnt live without being in sexual needs all the time especially when its become threat and leathal... Nobody will stop you to jump from 51st floor.. I would say if it didnt kill you, just try harder.
 

EyeOnThePrize

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2019
Messages
645
Reaction score
872
Age
29
its a prepared frame of mind, these hoes are nuts
Prepared for rejection and being treated like an orbiter.

Every chick can be a biitch or be sweet, they're not nuts. If it's not themselves being methodical it's nature being methodical through them. You can't leverage it until you understand it.
 

Barrister

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
218
Reaction score
220
Age
34
Youre preaching about million years of biological needs between human.. Thats basic human nature, not all of us couldnt live without being in sexual needs all the time especially when its become threat and leathal... Nobody will stop you to jump from 51st floor.. I would say if it didnt kill you, just try harder.
I don't think I was "preaching" at all - but it appears for some reason my post rubbed you the wrong way for you to respond by telling me to jump off a building lol. You stay classy.
 

image

Put away your credit card.

You can now read our detailed guide to women and dating for free - Right Here!

MrEkko

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 5, 2019
Messages
24
Reaction score
10
Age
30
Hey fellas, bumping this to ask the DJs here for their 2c.

For anyone that can't be bothered to read this I'll give a synopsis:

Girl I went out with for a couple of months last year and called it off (I might have played it wrong cos I was really into her and might have come a bit too strong at some point), texted me out of the blue before the summer. We did some chit chat once and then I was thinking how to ask her out again. Long story short, I asked her to go out and we did - it was a good time and not awkward after all this time but she didn't want to come to mine in the end.

Any ideas on what her angle is now? I thought to wait for a week or two and then ask her out again but is there any point trying?

I'm thinking it might have been wrong I even brought up an old story cos I had almost developed oneitis for her back then and it's almost coming back.
 

bat soup

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
174
Reaction score
171
Age
40
Hey fellas, bumping this to ask the DJs here for their 2c.

For anyone that can't be bothered to read this I'll give a synopsis:

Girl I went out with for a couple of months last year and called it off (I might have played it wrong cos I was really into her and might have come a bit too strong at some point), texted me out of the blue before the summer. We did some chit chat once and then I was thinking how to ask her out again. Long story short, I asked her to go out and we did - it was a good time and not awkward after all this time but she didn't want to come to mine in the end.

Any ideas on what her angle is now? I thought to wait for a week or two and then ask her out again but is there any point trying?

I'm thinking it might have been wrong I even brought up an old story cos I had almost developed oneitis for her back then and it's almost coming back.
Basically you want to know whether or not she's interested in you sexually, right? So get her alone and escalate on her. If she doesn't want to cooperate with that, DTB (Dump That Biatch).
 

stringpuller

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 21, 2017
Messages
4,500
Reaction score
2,726
I don't care what the response will be, and I have a number of plates available at the moment anyway, I just want to give it a go and see what happens
If you did you wouldnt have posted. I think that your oneitis is bubbling up for this one.
I don't root through the garbage once its taken to the curb.
If you have abundance why go backwards?
The timeless wall effecting men is the inability to walk away and claim to the world it doesn't bother them which is a form of lying to yourself. The rationalization hamster spinning you find a way to talk yourself back into oneitis instead of finding new prospects. These hardly ever end well when you are the rejected party to begin with.

Plates spin themselves.
 

backseatjuan

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2011
Messages
4,206
Reaction score
1,380
Age
39
Location
Россия
Ask this question deeply. What does a normal gal doing online?

Normal woman will be a nline if only she offering s x for money, fool. The rest are damaged.
 

MrEkko

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 5, 2019
Messages
24
Reaction score
10
Age
30
If you did you wouldnt have posted. I think that your oneitis is bubbling up for this one.
I don't root through the garbage once its taken to the curb.
If you have abundance why go backwards?
The timeless wall effecting men is the inability to walk away and claim to the world it doesn't bother them which is a form of lying to yourself. The rationalization hamster spinning you find a way to talk yourself back into oneitis instead of finding new prospects. These hardly ever end well when you are the rejected party to begin with.

Plates spin themselves.
Cant say you’re wrong, I’m feeling the oneitis surfacing up again with this one.
I am spinning plates and have options as we speak but now she just comes on top of all of them in my head. The mind works in mysterious ways
 
Top