OLD Despair

[AttackFormation]

Earlier today I remade and then deleted an account at a site that basically functions as OLD (which doesn't work for me, but nevertheless). During that brief time I saw again how women have hundreds, or thousands of orbiters - writing on their walls begging for a response, feeding their cashapps, praising their every word and worshipping them like cult deities... and I can't even see what their inboxes look like. It was then I remembered how despair-inducing this state is to witness, a main reason why I deleted my account in the first place. Then you the futility of competing with Chad over OLD as well and the rampant mental illness on top of that.

I just can't handle it. It's like being Frodo and staring into the Eye of Sauron.

So as I said I immediately deleted my account again, but now I am still loaded down with some despair over the state of the SMP. I would just like some supportive words from you guys.... tell me it's not all bad, or that there is something you can still do or how you deal with this. Is there any bright light looming somewhere ahead? I know this feeling will go away, but I would just like to think something positive...

 

[samspade]

Earlier today I remade and then deleted an account at a site that basically functions as OLD (which doesn't work for me, but nevertheless). During that brief time I saw again how women have hundreds, or thousands of orbiters - writing on their walls begging for a response, feeding their cashapps, praising their every word and worshipping them like cult deities... and I can't even see what their inboxes look like. It was then I remembered how despair-inducing this state is to witness, a main reason why I deleted my account in the first place. Then you the futility of competing with Chad over OLD as well and the rampant mental illness on top of that.

I just can't handle it. It's like being Frodo and staring into the Eye of Sauron.

So as I said I immediately deleted my account again, but now I am still loaded down with some despair over the state of the SMP. I would just like some supportive words from you guys.... tell me it's not all bad, or that there is something you can still do or how you deal with this. Is there any bright light looming somewhere ahead? I know this feeling will go away, but I would just like to think something positive...

I see this a lot on Sosuave. Have you ever considered that this is a form of male hamstering on a large scale? You go on, see all these women getting attention, and feel despair. It's similar to being jealous of friends' lives on SM (everyone traveling/eating out/happy) or depressed from reading the news.

On an individual level, in my experience most women can't handle more than one man at a time. Yes they can go out and have occasional random sex, but they're just not as carefree as men are. To wit: One girl I know, a friend, is on OLD, talks like she's a sex kitten, posts model and body shots on IG ad nauseum...but she is nevertheless stuck on the one fukkboy who puts forth minimal effort but won't move her past plate status. And I'm sure you've been that fukkboy, as I have...you know what it's like when a girl is fixated on you. (I'm not saying they won't exercise options, especially pre-wall. But there's still always Guy #1 and everyone else.)

Regardless, the key is just not caring so much. You can achieve that more easily by not staring at people's phony profiles, if that's what's causing the angst.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I think I see a flaw in most men's tactics when it comes to OLD. Most of you know that I met my gorgeous, young-looking and well-balanced fiance on OLD. There is a myth that no quality women are on OLD, but the fact is that there is a tiny percentage of quality women on there. What motivates them to try OLD? Their friends. These women go out with losers who are in fact beneath them, men whom they can't possibly look up to, and hence they spend a lot of time alone. Eventually their friends talk them into trying OLD.

So how to you catch one of these fleeting shooting stars? First of all, are you a man that a woman can look up to and admire? If not, I have no advice for you except to suggest that you take the hammer and chisel to yourself and do the painful work required to make yourself into such a man. You do not have to be perfect. Such a man is reasonably fit, has leadership tendencies, conveys conviction, conveys self-respect in his clothing, and provides fun and humor to those with whom he comes in contact. Make it so that people feel safe and relaxed in the midst of your strength.

Now for those of you who have that covered, here's the golden secret of OLD:

Make a profile that will attract ONE woman. Your ideal woman. DO NOT go for quantity. Go for quality. Write a profile that will turn away women you don't want, but that will attract that ONE woman who you would be proud to be with. Post that profile, and STOP browsing profiles. Instead, let her come to you. You are putting this bait out there that was designed to catch that one hungry fish, that one "keeper". If you are a man who can make himself reasonably attractive in at least one picture, and can write a profile that conveys class, humor, manliness, and convictions, you will get nibbles from higher class women who have allowed their friends to talk them into trying OLD. These are not ugly washed-up hags, but rather pretty, well-put together and submissive women. They come and go like shooting stars and you have to catch them during their brief appearance on OLD.

To nutshell it for the skimmers out there, the secret to success is to write a profile that will scare away the riff-raff (the 98%) and will attract that ONE woman who you want. DO NOT write to generally attract lots of women. Write to attract the one you want. EXCLUDE and REJECT the others. Don't browse profiles. Set your bait and wait. She will arrive in time.

Write for ONE, not for many.

 

[AttackFormation]

I see this a lot on Sosuave. Have you ever considered that this is a form of male hamstering on a large scale? You go on, see all these women getting attention, and feel despair. It's similar to being jealous of friends' lives on SM (everyone traveling/eating out/happy) or depressed from reading the news.

On an individual level, in my experience most women can't handle more than one man at a time. Yes they can go out and have occasional random sex, but they're just not as carefree as men are. To wit: One girl I know, a friend, is on OLD, talks like she's a sex kitten, posts model and body shots on IG ad nauseum...but she is nevertheless stuck on the one fukkboy who puts forth minimal effort but won't move her past plate status. And I'm sure you've been that fukkboy, as I have...you know what it's like when a girl is fixated on you. (I'm not saying they won't exercise options, especially pre-wall. But there's still always Guy #1 and everyone else.)

Regardless, the key is just not caring so much. You can achieve that more easily by not staring at people's phony profiles, if that's what's causing the angst.

The thing is when guys who say they have success with women here answer my question of how they're meeting them, they say it's primarily through OLD. And meeting women through the internet seems to be the way of the future in general, not that meeting women IRL was ever "easy" before the internet as far as I'd think (especially not in socially cold cultures). So, this state of the SMP feels like something you eventually have to deal with. It's not something ugly that you can throw away in the trash or dissolve into the sewage.

Ironically only the girls I haven't wanted and treated thereafter have been fixated on me, lol. Every time I was actually interested in a girl, they rejected or burned me.

For your last paragraph... yup. Delete that shyt.

 

[Lookatu]

They come and go like shooting stars and you have to catch them during their brief appearance on OLD.

This is what you have to accept and a good portion of it IMO will boil down to timing. If you just happen to come across one of these rarities that just get online for a brief while and happen to come across your profile and find you attractive.

I've found most of my good relationships off OLD is where I got lucky with the timing. This is something you can't control but you can be prepared for it by being at your best when that timing does work out.

 

[Atom Smasher]

This is what you have to accept and a good portion of it IMO will boil down to timing. If you just happen to come across one of these rarities that just get online for a brief while and happen to come across your profile and find you attractive.

I've found most of my good relationships off OLD is where I got lucky with the timing. This is something you can't control but you can be prepared for it by being at your best when that timing does work out.

Yes, the good ones don't stay online for long because they realize the pickins' are pretty slim out there. Nothing but guys trying to impress as many women as they can, and this is very obvious to them. The man who writes only for one women stands out in lights to them.

I let my profile sit on the site for a couple of years, when suddenly in my mailbox I got her little "smile" and "Very nice profile". The rest is history.

Fishing is a patient man's game.

I say, put some bait out there online, and then leave it. In the meantime, work on yourself and on real-time game.

 

[AttackFormation]

Yes, the good ones don't stay online for long because they realize the pickins' are pretty slim out there. Nothing but guys trying to impress as many women as they can, and this is very obvious to them. The man who writes only for one women stands out in lights to them.

I let my profile sit on the site for a couple of years, when suddenly in my mailbox I got her little "smile" and "Very nice profile". The rest is history.

Fishing is a patient man's game.

I say, put some bait out there online, and then leave it. In the meantime, work on yourself and on real-time game.

Out of curiosity what did you write in your profile? I don't want to try to find any personal information of you, I am just curious to what a woman with the traits you ascribed to her was hooked on in a little more detail.

My ideal criteria for a woman on OLD:

- Zero snapchat filters
- At least one clear picture without any kind of cosmetic enhancement (makeup, fake hair, morphs, retouches, filters)
- A filled in biography with full sentences and proper spelling, punctuation and paragraphing, and with a positive rather than negative tone
- An overall impression that she is low on narcissism and neuroticism
--- Then there is the obvious subjective criteria of her being my type and not having any deal breakers (single mom, substance use, mental disorder)

I would think you could trawl through profiles looking for this rather than just waiting for it to show up, right? But you may not want to do it due to the time investment. To me, finding those criteria seems as good as impossible.

 

[samspade]

The thing is when guys who say they have success with women here answer my question of how they're meeting them, they say it's primarily through OLD. And meeting women through the internet seems to be the way of the future in general, not that meeting women IRL was ever "easy" before the internet as far as I'd think (especially not in socially cold cultures). So, this state of the SMP feels like something you eventually have to deal with. It's not something ugly that you can throw away in the trash or dissolve into the sewage.

Ironically only the girls I haven't wanted and treated thereafter have been fixated on me, lol. Every time I was actually interested in a girl, they rejected or burned me.

For your last paragraph... yup. Delete that shyt.

People have been saying that about OLD for years...decades even. I have opted not to deal with it and I meet women just fine IRL. Not saying it doesn't work for others, but I know what works for me.

As for your second pp, I've had a similar phenomenon. Not that I didn't like them, but that I wasn't balls-out crazy about them. I've been posting lately about my personal awakening to this and about how high IL simply isn't enough any more. I would rather have some give and take and feel legitimate interest. The key to not getting burned is maintaining your value and self-respect. I think this is why men falter pre-red pill, while swallowing or even when on it. They forget their value, OR they simply eliminate the woman they're interested in because she's not showing overt IL. That's left me with a lot of cool women but none that really excite me.

I'm sure I'll have more to add to this thread once I read some others' posts.

 

[user43770]

Get off of OLD?

Go out and meet women in person?

We never did our challenge. Me and Samspade did one back in the day, and it was awesome.

Read the DJ Bible?

Don't be so defeatist? It's difficult, I know. I deal with it every day.

 

[SW15]

I favor going out and meeting people in person.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Out of curiosity what did you write in your profile? I don't want to try to find any personal information of you, I am just curious to what a woman with the traits you ascribed to her was hooked on in a little more detail.

My ideal criteria for a woman on OLD:

- Zero snapchat filters
- At least one clear picture without any kind of cosmetic enhancement (makeup, fake hair, morphs, retouches, filters)
- A filled in biography with full sentences and proper spelling, punctuation and paragraphing, and with a positive rather than negative tone
- An overall impression that she is low on narcissism and neuroticism
--- Then there is the obvious subjective criteria of her being my type and not having any deal breakers (single mom, substance use, mental disorder)

I would think you could trawl through profiles looking for this rather than just waiting for it to show up, right? But you may not want to do it due to the time investment. To me, finding those criteria seems as good as impossible.

I have to be careful about protecting my anonymity so I can't get into too much detail. If you come across as philosophical, you will come across as "deep" and " thoughtful", a huge turn-on for most decent women. What are your philosophies about manhood in the context of relationships? Put them in there. Be truthful and thorough about what you're looking for, although refrain from sounding rigid. You can do this by offsetting serious stuff with humor.

You stand out to better women by being different from the average guy. Come across as a thinker, but with a sense of humor. Talk about what brings you "joy" in life. Put in your own values about relationships and say "I expect the same".

Come across as someone who will vet any woman who contacts you. This is hugely important as women are looking for a leader, someone who is above them. This is the only kind of man they can look up to. Don't say "I am going to vet you". Rather, sprinkle in little things like what I already said... "I expect the same". The idea is to convey your requirements without seeming authoritarian. Never forget that women communicate covertly, so they WILL pick up on hints.

Be frank about the qualities you bring to the table. Excite her fantasies by talking in terms of mystery, adventure, adding "color" to life. Virtually every woman is bored out of their minds because most have no idea how to entertain themselves. Very few have hobbies. They are looking for romance and excitement. Hint that this is your philosophy, that these things are the ingredients of a good life.

These are just some things off the top of my head. You'll notice that the trick is to be confident, socially aware, desirous of fun but able to be serious and responsible. You are NOT hoping to impress women. Rather, you are looking for the right woman to impress you. You don't say that directly. Rather, you imply it. Women speak the language of hinting.

 

[user43770]

On another note

From my perspective, since I have zero personal experience with OLD/personal ads, if guys are having satisfactory success with it, I think that's awesome. I don't get it, but more power to ya. On the other hand, if you're having zero success with it, are complaining about all the losers on there, and aren't happy with the quality of the women there, why not just do it the old fashioned way?

That's my own old school prejudice, of course, but the OP seems like a perfect candidate for giving OLD the middle finger. He's a good looking, intelligent, young guy; I don't know what his personality is like, but if his posts are any indication, he could probably stand to develop some charisma and confidence.

Getting out and meeting people in person isn't the worst suggestion for him, even if it does happen to represent my own personal prejudice.

You fvcking hit it out of the park.

 

[corrector]

I have to be careful about protecting my anonymity so I can't get into too much detail. If you come across as philosophical, you will come across as "deep" and " thoughtful", a huge turn-on for most decent women. What are your philosophies about manhood in the context of relationships? Put them in there. Be truthful and thorough about what you're looking for, although refrain from sounding rigid. You can do this by offsetting serious stuff with humor.

You stand out to better women by being different from the average guy. Come across as a thinker, but with a sense of humor. Talk about what brings you "joy" in life. Put in your own values about relationships and say "I expect the same".

Come across as someone who will vet any woman who contacts you. This is hugely important as women are looking for a leader, someone who is above them. This is the only kind of man they can look up to. Don't say "I am going to vet you". Rather, sprinkle in little things like what I already said... "I expect the same". The idea is to convey your requirements without seeming authoritarian. Never forget that women communicate covertly, so they WILL pick up on hints.

Be frank about the qualities you bring to the table. Excite her fantasies by talking in terms of mystery, adventure, adding "color" to life. Virtually every woman is bored out of their minds because most have no idea how to entertain themselves. Very few have hobbies. They are looking for romance and excitement. Hint that this is your philosophy, that these things are the ingredients of a good life.

These are just some things off the top of my head. You'll notice that the trick is to be confident, socially aware, desirous of fun but able to be serious and responsible. You are NOT hoping to impress women. Rather, you are looking for the right woman to impress you. You don't say that directly. Rather, you imply it. Women speak the language of hinting.

Can we copy and paste your profile seeing you are not using OLD any more?

I have heard your line of thought. By showing contrasts you are avoiding pidgeon holing and the same issue is that a Chad with no profile has allot of women while your well thought profile might attract someone (who you may or may not like) but you are still operating in scarcity and are more.on edge if it does not work out.

Yours did.work out and you found a quality womeb. But unless you are married for over a year and a major conflict has come that you both worked through then you still dont know if she is really comitted. After all she can just put up another online profile and she will get lots of attention. Puts more pressure on us to keep the girl happy and never get in conflicts, never even snap at her otherwise you could lose her.

 

[thinker]

I don't understand this thing where guys complain about OLD and social media yet they keep going back to it. I always do real life to me OLD and social media is too fake and too much work. If something is not working for you not just in dating but in life in general stop doing it and move on to something that does work for you. Sometimes I think that the biggest problem most men have is that they refuse to use common sense.

 

[corrector]

I don't understand this thing where guys complain about OLD and social media yet they keep going back to it. I always do real life to me OLD and social media is too fake and too much work. If something is not working for you not just in dating but in life in general stop doing it and move on to something that does work for you. Sometimes I think that the biggest problem most men have is that they refuse to use common sense.

Yeah.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

I have found OLD to be the quickest way to send your self-esteem into oblivion.

OLD mainly exists to give women an ego boost, many have no intention of even dating - but they love cuddling up on their couch and reading message after message from Simps begging for attention.

No thanks.

better off using a service that interviews. There used to be one that resulted in dates.
On here I read members Dash Riprock and BeExcellent talk highly of 'Its Just Lunch' matchmaking service but that was older posts and it was in the States. Don't know what services are up here. When I worked in Winnipeg twice I used to see a bus shelter ad for one in the old mansions neighbourhood but don't recall name.
Might be a better r.o.i. than OLD.
I'll google tomorrow what's around.

 

[metalwater]

always check the ones with no photo... most are bad news.. some are just shy girls and nice...

 

[AttackFormation]

always check the ones with no photo... most are bad news.. some are just shy girls and nice...

Got any personal stories behind this?

 

[Atom Smasher]

I remember when I was on OLD seeing lots of profiles of women peeking from behind a tree.
Pass!!

 

[AttackFormation]

I remember when I was on OLD seeing lots of profiles of women peeking from behind a tree.
Pass!!

lol, I would just like to see any "women" at all. The cosmetics they already use combined with the snapchat morphs and filters just turn it into a fvcking mental freak show. It's extremely rare to see even a single clear picture of what they really look like.

Did you post your profile on a religious dating site or was it somewhere like plenty of fish?