"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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OKCupid Says I'm One Of the Most Attractive

Tenacity

Banned
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Here's a copy and paste of the email I just got from OKC :). I'm happy about this because it just makes me remember high school when I wasn't getting any attention (or not that much attention) from women, wasn't getting any action, etc.

Fast forward to today and I'm one of the most attractive people on OkCupid, a site that has over 7 million users.

I know in hindsight it's like, "so what, it's just a dating site" but with all the crap I have been through...this right here is validation!

Hey (Took Username Out So It Doesn't Come Up In SEO),

We just detected that you’re now among the most attractive people on OkCupid.

We learned this from clicks to your profile and reactions to you in Quickmatch. Did you get a new haircut or something? Well, it’s working!

To celebrate, we’ve adjusted your OkCupid experience:

You’ll see more attractive people in your results.

This won’t affect your match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match’s answers. But we’ll recommend more attractive people to you. You’ll also appear more often to other attractive people.

Sign in to see your newly-shuffled matches. Have fun, and don’t let this go to your head.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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HoneyHitter

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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Are you sure this "validation" is coming from the right place? It's their business interest to make you feel desirable. And further more, this would actually indicate that their matchings are seriously biased.
 

Dust 2 Dust

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 25, 2002
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I received the same message when I was on there. Anyone who's rated a 3 out of 5 stars or higher gets that message. As a result you'll be matched with more higher rated females. I worked as a site moderator for a while too. Despite being highly rated I still struggled and got ignored most of the time. I met my current GF on the site.
 

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
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Now, I restrict my geographical area to Easter Europe, so maybe I'm comparing apples to oranges, but I find the women @ OKCupid to be far better than the dregs @ PlentyOfFish (where I use my American location.)
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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