"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
OKCupid found me...great LTR potential!?!?!?
- Thread starter Mr. Bond
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Things are good. She loves me, I love her. It feels like a more mature kind of love than I had in the past. It feels less like a "needy" kind of love. We simply happily coexist. If something were to happen and the relationship were to end, I know I would bounce back and find another girl (or girls).
She continues to want to see me at all times, and as much as possible. I still tell her no fairly often - as much as I enjoy time with her, I have other things to balance in my life. No red flags as far as anything being wrong.
We do have our disagreements, like anyone will. I like how issues are handled between us now. There are girls who hold their complaints in (most girls). Their resentment grows, and eventually a guy is blindsided when she breaks up with him. My girl is one of the types who speaks her mind 100%. I know exactly what she's thinking, for better or worse. It really makes moving on from disagreements easy. I see the problem, we come to an agreement (usually her realizing that she was being irrational), and we move on from it without any underlying resentment. That kind of came as a surprise to me, because a couple years ago I would have thought that no arguments was a sign of a happy relationship. Not so.
She has made it clear she wants to marry me eventually, have kids, etc. It's a bit soon to think about those things, but I could be open to it as long as things continue to go well. I may move in with her in a year or so if I don't kick her to the curb before then.
denverfan110
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2013
- Messages
- 105
- Reaction score
- 6
and from okcupid of all things...wow.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Any woman who's really into a guy WILL bring up the subject of an eventual future together (marriage, kids)
not really a bad thing..at least they are communicating it.
I met a girl on okcupid last june and it's been the exact same situation with her as yours.
She clearly doesn't want kids, but just recently brought up the "eventual" idea of marriage some years in the future, which I don't have an issue with at the moment. I definitely will insist on living together at least 5 years before doing that though.
keep the thread going, this is interesting.
I have to be honest, this post makes a refreshing and welcome change from all the usual ones and shows that, despite what is too often preached here, it is possible to be happy with a woman and have a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
One word of advice from my own experience...be cool, keep the challenge and excitement alive, and remain confident, but never resort to PUA mind games or let SoSuave's jaded posters influence your relationship.
Good luck!
denverfan110
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2013
- Messages
- 105
- Reaction score
- 6
Yes, I can see what you mean. I have kept a watchful eye on her and I'm not letting my guard down. Ever. I will always have a little bit of it up. Anyway, this fits in with her personality type - she sees what she wants, goes for it, and doesn't keep any secrets about it. With this girl, it doesn't bother me. With others in a different context, it very well could.
I agree 100%. The moment you become lazy, it's over. I'm not a big fan of PUA tactics, especially in a girlfriend situation. Eventually, the girl will figure out that you are not the person you're pretending to be. I prefer to legitimately improve myself. It's harder work, but worth it to me.
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Another month has come and gone. No changes, really. I fit in very well with her family, and she fits with mine. Life is good.