OKCupid found me...great LTR potential!?!?!?

[Krueg]

Edit, wrong thread.

 

[Mr. Bond]

right on.

keep informing as time goes by.

great lesson for the rest of us.

I liked the part about you not being intimidated by truly gorgeous women.

I had a tendency to be so enamored I clammed up and didn't seem
very social when all I was thinking was "this chick is hot, I don't want
to mess up!" -WRONG thinking on my part.

Sure, will do.

As for the gorgeous women...I look at them now and am totally at ease. I know my value. I am a better catch then they are.

OP, focus on your compatibility to her if you want an LTR. You seem way too focused on looks right now, and thats where your infatuation seems to mainly be coming from. Dont fail into that trap because then youll start pedestalizing this chick and end up giving her all the power in the relationship.

Step outside of yourself for a minute and stop acting like youre so lucky to have met a hot chick whos pretty cool. Slow down, get to know her some more, and see if shes compatible enough that shes worthy of your commitment.

PS - Dont get fooled by the idea of sex and nymphomania either. Many guys who've been down this road will tell you how some girls are all horny and sex crazed, and then once the commitment comes, the sex goes.

lol.

 

[Mr. Bond]

Okay, update again. It's been 8 months with this girl.

Things are good. She loves me, I love her. It feels like a more mature kind of love than I had in the past. It feels less like a "needy" kind of love. We simply happily coexist. If something were to happen and the relationship were to end, I know I would bounce back and find another girl (or girls).

She continues to want to see me at all times, and as much as possible. I still tell her no fairly often - as much as I enjoy time with her, I have other things to balance in my life. No red flags as far as anything being wrong.

We do have our disagreements, like anyone will. I like how issues are handled between us now. There are girls who hold their complaints in (most girls). Their resentment grows, and eventually a guy is blindsided when she breaks up with him. My girl is one of the types who speaks her mind 100%. I know exactly what she's thinking, for better or worse. It really makes moving on from disagreements easy. I see the problem, we come to an agreement (usually her realizing that she was being irrational), and we move on from it without any underlying resentment. That kind of came as a surprise to me, because a couple years ago I would have thought that no arguments was a sign of a happy relationship. Not so.

She has made it clear she wants to marry me eventually, have kids, etc. It's a bit soon to think about those things, but I could be open to it as long as things continue to go well. I may move in with her in a year or so if I don't kick her to the curb before then.

 

[denverfan110]

congratz dude that's fvcking awesome

and from okcupid of all things...wow.

 

[GS750]

I think I'll renew my match account for another 3 months haha. Good for you man, congrats on finding a quality girl online. They are out there, just gotta weed through a lot of B.S.

 

[pdx1138]

congrats Bond, sounds like a keeper.

Any woman who's really into a guy WILL bring up the subject of an eventual future together (marriage, kids)
not really a bad thing..at least they are communicating it.

I met a girl on okcupid last june and it's been the exact same situation with her as yours.

She clearly doesn't want kids, but just recently brought up the "eventual" idea of marriage some years in the future, which I don't have an issue with at the moment. I definitely will insist on living together at least 5 years before doing that though.

keep the thread going, this is interesting.

 

[Jariel]

This is a very inspiring post and I wish you the best of luck.

I have to be honest, this post makes a refreshing and welcome change from all the usual ones and shows that, despite what is too often preached here, it is possible to be happy with a woman and have a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

One word of advice from my own experience...be cool, keep the challenge and excitement alive, and remain confident, but never resort to PUA mind games or let SoSuave's jaded posters influence your relationship.

Good luck!

 

[denverfan110]

Just curious, OP, can you describe the circumstance in which you told this hottie that you loved her? Did she say it again (after she didnt get a response out of you the first time) to which you said it back? Or did you just go for it?

 

[Mr. Bond]

First, I want to thank everyone for the positive comments. I hope that this thread can give some insight on the things I've learned during this past year (when I have made the most progress).

This is actually a minor red flag, along with her being from online dating to begin with. If she is a quality girl, no big deal though.

Yes, I can see what you mean. I have kept a watchful eye on her and I'm not letting my guard down. Ever. I will always have a little bit of it up. Anyway, this fits in with her personality type - she sees what she wants, goes for it, and doesn't keep any secrets about it. With this girl, it doesn't bother me. With others in a different context, it very well could.

One word of advice from my own experience...be cool, keep the challenge and excitement alive, and remain confident, but never resort to PUA mind games or let SoSuave's jaded posters influence your relationship.

I agree 100%. The moment you become lazy, it's over. I'm not a big fan of PUA tactics, especially in a girlfriend situation. Eventually, the girl will figure out that you are not the person you're pretending to be. I prefer to legitimately improve myself. It's harder work, but worth it to me.

--------------------------------------

Another month has come and gone. No changes, really. I fit in very well with her family, and she fits with mine. Life is good.