So,I was talking t my ex earlier this night,well,we weren't really serious,tried to make it when I first saw her,she was one I lost it too,no regrets,although,I did act very afc,i.e,was too serious,validation seeking,pushed for a relationship,why,I don't know,and was kinda weird. Anyway's,long story short,leaves me for some other guy,probably someone who had his stuff more together than me,I get pissed off,blame her for it all,etc. Started to talking to her again out of the blue,feel all nostalgic,think I would like to see her again,talk about it with her,say's maybe when she comes back,she goes to school in another state,and I think,sweet. Well,I wouldn't mind seeing her again,even though what happened.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Ok,some advice need,(somewhat good news)....
- Thread starter ItsOnNow
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
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Congratulations bro.
You are second best.
*Hands ItsOnNow his silver medal*
Wear it proudly my friend.
It signifies not only you desiring to indulge in sloppy seconds but also give a girl an ego boost that doesn't deserve one, didn't love you enough to stay with you through good times as well as bad, put another man's c0ck inside her mouth and pvssy and maybe a few other places, has a compromised integrity about her and is totally unfit for a relationship with a man of worth.
Rise, rise, you noble champion.
Show your silver medal to the world.
Or you know...you could throw it in the river and go for the gold.
Just a thought.
You are second best.
*Hands ItsOnNow his silver medal*
Wear it proudly my friend.
It signifies not only you desiring to indulge in sloppy seconds but also give a girl an ego boost that doesn't deserve one, didn't love you enough to stay with you through good times as well as bad, put another man's c0ck inside her mouth and pvssy and maybe a few other places, has a compromised integrity about her and is totally unfit for a relationship with a man of worth.
Rise, rise, you noble champion.
Show your silver medal to the world.
Or you know...you could throw it in the river and go for the gold.
Just a thought.
^^^ Holy crap that was awesome.
Dude, don't get mad about what KotrollerX said. Take it to heart. Leave that biotch alone. Real men move forward, not backwards. I don't have anymore time to spend on you because you've missed the boat.
Dude, don't get mad about what KotrollerX said. Take it to heart. Leave that biotch alone. Real men move forward, not backwards. I don't have anymore time to spend on you because you've missed the boat.
Maurizio 2.0
Don Juan
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That's nice and all, but the danger here is that you use the knowledge that she may or may not be interested in you when she comes back from college as an excuse to sit around and act complacently in the meantime.
Don't get fixated on her and just sit on your hands until she comes back. You have no guarantees as to the specifics of her situation in the future.
Try to go and do your thing, get experience, live life in the meantime. If something materializes for you in the present, you can always bail on it later if things escalate with this chick in the future.
...I should practice what I preach.
Don't get fixated on her and just sit on your hands until she comes back. You have no guarantees as to the specifics of her situation in the future.
Try to go and do your thing, get experience, live life in the meantime. If something materializes for you in the present, you can always bail on it later if things escalate with this chick in the future.
...I should practice what I preach.
I am not mad,just frustrated. But as to the second response,that's just it,I have not been able to move forward. In terms of alot. I think I may have a low sense of self worth,which has been a big problem for me. Plus,long periods of not seeing someone,due to different things. I am not trying to miss the boat,I just want my **** sucked.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Maurizio 2.0
Don Juan
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Just to add:
It's interesting how if you spend extended time away from some person that you end back up with, you feel much less bad and bitter (perhaps not bad at all) toward this person if you are with (read: having sex) other people while you were apart.
It helps to feel like the score is even. ... or that you're leading.
It's interesting how if you spend extended time away from some person that you end back up with, you feel much less bad and bitter (perhaps not bad at all) toward this person if you are with (read: having sex) other people while you were apart.
It helps to feel like the score is even. ... or that you're leading.
Live in the moment! Don't live in the future or the past. Don't get hung up on depression and anxiety. Don't grab the flower and crush it, but grab it by it's stem. She cut you off when she left, and if you cared about YOU, you would have been long gone because you do not deserve her crap. Why? Because you can be happy without her. You don't need her. You don't love her, and you probably never did. Forget a biotch and move FOWARD.
Yes, I get your drift. That happiness and security that you get from this woman or any woman, you should already have it. If you don't have it you better go find it because you can't go into a relationship and get it from a woman. It's not possible. You go in offering your value, not putting out your cup half-full and saying fill it up with value please.ItsOnNow said:That's what I am worried about,not having someone at my side. Not that I think she is someone,but get my drift?
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Cool, we're getting somewhere. Well, I see value in you. You know how to use a computer and type on a keyboard. You know how to use the English language and communicate with me. That's outstanding! I also see that you're pretty bright because you understand what I'm getting at.
You need some POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS in your self-talk to replace the negative self-talk. You talk to yourself in a self-doubting manner, and why should you? Take some time and write down your accomplishments. Then speak those as positive affirmations.
Let's see...
You seem smart. Ah, there's one for an affirmation. You know that you shouldn't need someone else for happiness. Ah, there's another one. You could say something like I'm learning not to need other people to feel good about myself. It's easy. Do this and ingrain it into your mind.
You need some POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS in your self-talk to replace the negative self-talk. You talk to yourself in a self-doubting manner, and why should you? Take some time and write down your accomplishments. Then speak those as positive affirmations.
Let's see...
You seem smart. Ah, there's one for an affirmation. You know that you shouldn't need someone else for happiness. Ah, there's another one. You could say something like I'm learning not to need other people to feel good about myself. It's easy. Do this and ingrain it into your mind.
I have been trying too,I have definitley realized where I was looking for validation,have overcome that,well,gotten far from where I was,In terms of happyness,I have just never been able to make myself feel happy all the time,like that glowing,positive personality. But that's it,too much self doubt,feeling of lack of accomplishment's,or not accomplishing what I really want in life.
It's whatever YOU attach to it. If you think it's bad, then it's bad. If you're ok with it, then it's ok. Whatever you attach to it in your mind is what it is. The more bad sh1t you attach to it, the harder time you'll have getting laid because you'll believe all that bad sh1tr about yourself.ItsOnNow said:Ok. You're right and all,but what about when you just don't see anyone,or have never really seen anyone,or haven't slept with x amount,etc?
A car salesman can't sale a car buy begging someone to buy a car.
I've said this before...
The hungry don't get feed. Really think about what this is saying. The needy don't have their needs met.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.