"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Ok, so I've ignored and next her...

thezenmachine

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I wrote a thread months ago about a girl I was seeing who has a 'boyfriend' who lives in Australia (we live in FL). Its a guy she met on vacation and hasn't seen since (7 months). We hooked up once and she said she felt guilty. Long story short, I next her.

We were still hanging out as friends every so often and she said she couldn't hang out with me last week, so I gave her the cold shoulder, when she'd text me, I'd give the shortest, least satisfying answer possible. Well, she went ballistic and started kissing my ass like crazy, calling me, telling me how great I am, she facebooked me and she's writing hearts and stuff the while we chatting.

Anyway, she asks if she can come up to my gym (I'm the owner) while I work out during closed hours today. Things were cool and we started talking about this Australian guy and she said he got a new job and she hadn't even been able to talk to him in a week. During the talk, I ended up going off (in a sort of nice way, but very firm) about that whole situation. She ate it up and has been texting me all day and saying how great we get along and I'm her favorite person to talk to.

Obviously I should just keep up what I'm doing, but how do I know if she just wants my attention or she's actually getting interested? I've got 2 other girls I've been seeing, but I'm more interested in this one for LTR.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Tazman

Master Don Juan
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^^^!!!

Hanging out as "friends" was a bad move.
 

PeeGee

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If you want a confirmation stop doing platonic things and make a move. If she rejects your advances, you should re-next her and stop contact.
 

dark god

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thezenmachine said:
I wrote a thread months ago about a girl I was seeing who has a 'boyfriend' who lives in Australia (we live in FL). Its a guy she met on vacation and hasn't seen since (7 months). We hooked up once and she said she felt guilty. Long story short, I next her.

We were still hanging out as friends every so often and she said she couldn't hang out with me last week, so I gave her the cold shoulder, when she'd text me, I'd give the shortest, least satisfying answer possible. Well, she went ballistic and started kissing my ass like crazy, calling me, telling me how great I am, she facebooked me and she's writing hearts and stuff the while we chatting.

Anyway, she asks if she can come up to my gym (I'm the owner) while I work out during closed hours today. Things were cool and we started talking about this Australian guy and she said he got a new job and she hadn't even been able to talk to him in a week. During the talk, I ended up going off (in a sort of nice way, but very firm) about that whole situation. She ate it up and has been texting me all day and saying how great we get along and I'm her favorite person to talk to.

Obviously I should just keep up what I'm doing, but how do I know if she just wants my attention or she's actually getting interested? I've got 2 other girls I've been seeing, but I'm more interested in this one for LTR.

What normal woman would date or hold out for some dude she not only met briefly on vacation but nonetheless hasnt seen in 7 months? And this ho monger is LTR material in ur book?
 

dark god

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Heres another question: How are u "seeing" this girl if she has a Man??? And a better question is R U FVCKING HER?!
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Jeffst1980

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You're considering her for an LTR??
She's already proved to be a cheater. What makes you think she wouldn't cheat on you?

It sounds like you're just providing validation for this girl while her bf is inaccessible. And you didn't 'next' her at all if you're hanging out with her and wondering if she likes you.

Whenever a girl brings up a boyfriend in a conversation, it usually spells friendzone for you. Think about it: if her goal is to get you to date her, why would she bring up a subject likely to dissuade you from doing so? He's halfway across the globe and there's no reason to mention him at all if she was planning on branch swinging; she'd just do it.

In all likelihood, she's using you to make her BF jealous. All the stuff she's writing you is designed to keep you around for further use. If you want to increase her interest level, you need to beat her at her own game and start talking about other girls in front of her and treat her completely platonic--demonstrate that she has no power over you. But then, it's probably a waste of time to spend on a cheater.
 
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