ok i got dumped by text, anyway to salvage this?

[Hollow.man]

It's done. Learn from it.

 

[Aaron B]

why would you even want to?

have some respect for yourself man

 

[Johnnyventana]

Now that you sent that text, DO NOT do anything extra now. You will just look weak. Remember, your text was a "front" that you are cool with this. Her reply was likely a "front" as well. Now she is thinking and wondering if she did the right thing, and if you contact her in anyway, especially trying to "get her," it will show her that she did the right thing. Let her wonder. Let her think. Maybe she will freak out. Go occupy yourself. You don't get a do over on this post-break-period-of-time, so don't F it up.

 

[pete_101]

Now that you sent that text, DO NOT do anything extra now. You will just look weak. Remember, your text was a "front" that you are cool with this. Her reply was likely a "front" as well. Now she is thinking and wondering if she did the right thing, and if you contact her in anyway, especially trying to "get her," it will show her that she did the right thing. Let her wonder. Let her think. Maybe she will freak out. Go occupy yourself. You don't get a do over on this post-break-period-of-time, so don't F it up.

ahh fvck.. i knew i f;d it up.. cos someone else mentioned i should decline her friendship request i thought i should respond to it now after.. i didnt see your post before i sent it.. damn, is it still too late?

i sent: take care p.s. btw in regards to hanging out as friends, i dont think that's a good idea, thanks for the offer really, i mean that, but i have enough. i dont do the friendzone wish u all the best. xx

has that finished it completely? i didnt want to come across all annoyed but maybe it'll be perceived that way.. i didnt anticipate she would also offer a front. is it over now then?

she knows i mentioned the friendzone last time when on weds when she asked me why i was so touchy with her.. i said 'cos theres no way im getting put in the friendzone' or something along those lines.. she responded with 'i dont want to be friends.. i have enough of those '

in retrospect if she remembers saying that then my text above is somewhat a dig at her? i completely forgot about the fact she said that..

 

[maverick72]

Pete

....

 

[pete_101]

ok i've done the cardinal sin.. cos i felt me and her had something and what she wrote is in all honesty what she felt that she wanted to feel attraction i felt she'd at least try once more.

i sent some really long msg to her saying what she was afraid of trying once more and if she was so sure would it harm anything.

i called her first she didnt answer then i sent the msg.

she sends me a text 25mins after saying 'hi, im having dinner with my friend so couldnt answer. talk to you later xx'

theres no indicator shes going to call me back nor anything except she'll talk to me later. i dont know if the kisses are fake but she's been online in the past hour (maybe from her phone)

does my long text message require a response from her?

cos i dont know if im suppose to call her back later or whatever or she's just tryna induce me to keep chasing her and toy with me?

do i deserve a call or text response back?

 

[Jaylan]

dude you lost. its game over.

You are only making it worse. Imagine yourself in her position. Would you give someone another chance after you rejected them politely, they said ok to be friends, then they send you a seemingly rude rejecteion to being friends , and then some long email about trying again?

dude if a girl did that to me I would be very turned off and it would come off as desperate. Back off dude....seriously...and just go NC

Being this persistent after someone already is not into you is a major turn off.

 

[pete_101]

dude you lost. its game over.

You are only making it worse. Imagine yourself in her position. Would you give someone another chance after you rejected them politely, they said ok to be friends, then they send you a seemingly rude rejecteion to being friends , and then some long email about trying again?

dude if a girl did that to me I would be very turned off and it would come off as desperate. Back off dude....seriously...and just go NC

Being this persistent after someone already is not into you is a major turn off.

yeah i know but now shes talking to me again.. for attention? she wants me to talk to her tomorrow.. i know if i dont convince her in my next call it's game over. it's probably game over now. im just going through the motions.

she texts me to say 'hi, im having dinner with my friend so couldnt answer. talk to you later xx'

i dont know if she wants me to call her back or what not so i text her later to ask when is a good time to call.

she texts me to say: hey dont worry im not ignoring you, its ust my friend is here and i dont feel comfortable talking next to her. tomorrow? good night'

me: i know you're not ignoring me from your text, i wasnt sure if u were going to call me back or if i should depends what time tomorrow? if shes stayin with u we might have a similar prob then.. haha

her: yeah shes stayin with me and working on her phd proposal so im in the bedroom

me: my new favourite place in your apartment haha.. so whens a good time to call tomorrow? at work or lunch or..

her: in the evening

her smiley faces seem genuine and her kisses genuine too it's like i convinced her in my long texts but i f'd it up responding to this last text with

me: she might be there when you're back from work too hmm.. a conundrum i'll call u at 8pm.. on the dot.. PST time.. nless that's EST time still hahaha. i assume u read my 2 long texts

this was f'd up sounded like such an insecure kid.. i should have stopped at the previous 1.

her: yes i read your dissertation. ok talk to you tomorrow. good night.

basically 1 msg too far.. is this a good sign that she's willing to give it another chance?

or am i kidding myself?

i dont even know if her earlier msg of 'talk to you later' mean she wanted to give it another go.. we usually only communicate by text and cos i buckled under pressure to ask what time to call i dont really know what she mighta done.. like contacted me tomorrow or suggested to meet up.. now im commited to a phone call when actually i mighta been able to meet her.

 

[perseverance]

Jaylan - Pete has been given golden advice in this thread and it is up to him if he wants to accept that advice or not. If a person is not prepared to take the advice given to them then there is nothing you can do about it. I am sure Pete will look back on this thread one day and will cringe with sheer embarrassment. Some people like to learn the hard way and I am sure Pete will learn from his mistakes one way or the other.

 

[pete101]

Jaylan - Pete has been given golden advice in this thread and it is up to him if he wants to accept that advice or not. If a person is not prepared to take the advice given to them then there is nothing you can do about it. I am sure Pete will look back on this thread one day and will cringe with sheer embarrassment. Some people like to learn the hard way and I am sure Pete will learn from his mistakes one way or the other.

i understand what you're saying but it's too late for me to follow any of the previous advice on this thread as i am way past that now. it 'appears' she's interested again i.e. talking to me, wants to give it one more shot etc.

 

[pete101]

despite everything i think what i did has worked, she wants me to try again and give it another shot. in her mind she wants this to work too, she really does but she doesn't FEEL it.. my problem is i dont know what to do to make her feel those emotions after a few dates?

i arranged to call her tonight, should i just cancel on that?

i remember going through something similar a couple years ago and had a date arranged and was told to just cancel on it as it'll make her wonder why..

would that be a good move for this phone call as well? you know keep her guessing, given i've come across quite clingy and needy the last date..

i dont know how significant it is for me to need to call her and raise IL.. the question is how? this is unknown territory for me.

i'm in 2 minds to cancel on the call tho that's not the same as cancelling on a date.. last time i went on that final date, it was her to break it off with me in person.. i feel like this call could be the same thing. if i was to suddenly be like 'hey i cant call you tonight, something's come up. speak soon. x'

 

[Hollow.man]

Youve already shown her your gina, you won't gain anything by not calling. Ps. You are a tool for doing that. She's got your balls in a vice now.

 

[LuisGarcia10]

This kind of thing has happened to me loads of times.
It's too late now but for future what i would do is;
Ignore the text, then call her a few hours later, saying,
"hey, got your text earlier, no worries! I completely understand, thanks for your honesty and we can still be friends"
You're not friendzoning yourself by doing this, you friendzone yourself by being her emotional tampon, listening to all get problems etc, the above sends out a message that you have options, aren't phased by her dumping you, and don't react badly to not getting your own way. After doIng that I'd then just ignore her until if/when she suggests hooking up again.
As for now, id honestly just ignore her. The attraction isn't there, from here on in you're going to be paranoid about her doing this again, which inevitably she eventually will. Seriously mate, I've made every mistake a man can make in these scenarios so I know what in talking about. Every girl is replaceable, you should have the confidence to date a girl that doesn't have to decide if she's attracted to you.

 

[pete101]

i have 2 choices now.. i either dont call and see if she calls me then dont answer and send her the 'hey i cant call tonight something came up spk soon' text.. or send it in advance before the 8pm time i said.

which would be better? after that i have to no contact for a few days and see if she contacts me.

she doesn't play games with me, she's very upfront honest.. but by the same token cos im upfront and honest with her there's no mystery, no wonder she feels no attraction.

i anticipate she is going to break if off with me via phone as doing it by text wasn't classy so im going to avoid making a call. i rather have another shot at it in person, so if she breaks it off with me in person then fine i'll walk away.

 

[LuisGarcia10]

I would honestly just not call her, cancel on meeting her and go find a new girl, just let it go she's not interested.

 

[the_great_gaia]

i would accept her offer as a friend, and then just no contacting her ever again, leaving the door open to whatever little twisted fantasy she may have in her head, but I definitely wouldn't follow up on her, and go for the "backdoor" attempt at trying to get with her again.

I don't really think you made any mistakes really, but your best option is definitely NO CONTACT. Maybe she'll miss you, or then again, maybe she won't.. as I have had this happen to me many times, myself. You already get other chics, so the whole no contact thing could work. Just don't burn any bridges, and try to find other interests, bro.

Good luck!

 

[pete101]

given i already said i'd call at 8pm sharp, will she judge me for not calling?

i mean now some of the good feelings have come back to her.. i dont want to wreck it by not doing something i should have or not.. cancelling on not calling in advance might be weak but is it clingy?

am i better off texting her tomorrow to say sorry for not calling tonight?

i really dont know what the right answer is and need a lot of reassurance which im not getting.

 

[pete101]

ok so i sent her 'hey i cant call at 8 somethings come up spk soon x'

she text me back immediately 'me too. talk later'

i dont know if this is anything i can read into or a jealousy plot i know i've opened up the floodgates but it at least lets me leave it a few days.. if shes gona end it i rather she ends it with me in person where i can still use some game to make her reconsider.. it's not in my hands anymore.. i know this.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

yeah i know but now shes talking to me again.. for attention? she wants me to talk to her tomorrow.. i know if i dont convince her in my next call it's game over. it's probably game over now. im just going through the motions.

she texts me to say 'hi, im having dinner with my friend so couldnt answer. talk to you later xx'

i dont know if she wants me to call her back or what not so i text her later to ask when is a good time to call.

she texts me to say: hey dont worry im not ignoring you, its ust my friend is here and i dont feel comfortable talking next to her. tomorrow? good night'

me: i know you're not ignoring me from your text, i wasnt sure if u were going to call me back or if i should depends what time tomorrow? if shes stayin with u we might have a similar prob then.. haha

her: yeah shes stayin with me and working on her phd proposal so im in the bedroom

me: my new favourite place in your apartment haha.. so whens a good time to call tomorrow? at work or lunch or..

her: in the evening

her smiley faces seem genuine and her kisses genuine too it's like i convinced her in my long texts but i f'd it up responding to this last text with

me: she might be there when you're back from work too hmm.. a conundrum i'll call u at 8pm.. on the dot.. PST time.. nless that's EST time still hahaha. i assume u read my 2 long texts

this was f'd up sounded like such an insecure kid.. i should have stopped at the previous 1.

her: yes i read your dissertation. ok talk to you tomorrow. good night.

basically 1 msg too far.. is this a good sign that she's willing to give it another chance?

or am i kidding myself?

Damn. You are a needy mother F'er aren't you?

"When can I call you?"

"Oh I just didn't know if you were gonna call me or if I should call you"

"So when's a good time to call tomorrow?"

Your clingyness is epic. It's almost like you're a sitcom character. And then she went and called your mountain of texts a "dissertation". Which is hilarious...on her part.

What I'm trying to say....and I mean this in the nicest way.....you're a bit of a b*tch.

There's not really and new advice I can give you. You're choosing to continue your pursuit of this girl. And she wants nothing to do with you. And my god, I don't blame her one bit. You're clingy as hell. It's making my balls shrivel just reading about you.

You need to sit this one out, buddy. You need to take some time off to find your testosterone. This girl is absolutely justified in breaking things off with you.

ok so i sent her 'hey i cant call at 8 somethings come up spk soon x'

she text me back immediately 'me too. talk later'

i dont know if this is anything i can read into or a jealousy plot i know i've opened up the floodgates but it at least lets me leave it a few days.. if shes gona end it i rather she ends it with me in person where i can still use some game to make her reconsider.. it's not in my hands anymore.. i know this.

End it with you?

You've hung out with her 3 times. There's nothing to end. Jesus Christ, you are a freak show.

 

[DonGorgon]

i dont feel any attraction towards you in that way

can someone translate this for me?

ummm huh??? translate what ..

there is nothing to translate dude she made it clear and simple right there... you need to make yourself accept that you goofed up and turned her off...

i hope you learned from this and will do better next time... leave her alone and move on to the next one...