"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Ohh man do I suck!

Lifeforce

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Today I felt like changing my way off approaching just for fun and to prove I am not a keyboard jockey as some *caugh*lan*caugh* has said. I decided to some street approaches considering it was almost a year ago I did those if you exclude saying hi and chit chatting, well I don't know what the hell I was doing, to quote lord blackadder, I was as effective as a catflap in a elefant house.

It was an intense experience, I am good at meeting women through friends and stuff like that, but this was terrible. I think it has to do with I was emotionally attached to meeting women, I went out TO met women. Normally I just go with the flow and don't care about the result. Well I am not doing street approaches anymore at least. :]

Well it was a good experience too because I learnt that my style is not in the street, I go through my connections to met women. I think that is an important realisation to find a good field that suit you. Meeting people in the street is just not my style anymore.

rant mode off.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Alpine

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Well, congrats on actually getting out there and facing it. Ok so you didn't do so well, so what, you did it a learnt something from it.

I'm just wondering though if you might want to do this again. In some ways it's just a skill that has to be learned and that takes repeated practice.

Of course the other thing might be that you have found it very stressful and are rationalising a reason not to do it again.
 

TonyTheTigerOI

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What are the chances that your bestest buddy ever knows more than one 9.0+?

What are the chances that he knows the 9.2 who works @ ur favorite resteraunt?

Why limit yourself? Dont be scared of a little reading [for skill] and self improvement [for confidence] and experimentation [for application... its only work and it will only make you a better man. Dont be a *****.
 

AlwaysExcel

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Ditto on what Tony said. Social circles are the hands-down best situations to hook up in, but I'd rather be able to get what I want at any place, at any time.

Lifeforce, you're absolutely right about how focusing on getting the women messes things up. I personally find it better to focus on improving my skills and experimenting. I'm not saying I don't try to pull the women. I'm saying I try not to have that emotional attachment to success that you're talking about. That emotional attachment signals to me that I'm basing my self worth on whether or not I can pull. To paraphrase an old principle, YOU don't suck, your cold approach skills suck. Your skills CAN improve. I think one of the hardest things to internalize is not feeling bad about failure and taking it personally. I still haven't got that completely mastered. It's really tough. Best wishes if you keep trying cold approaches.
 

Lifeforce

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Hey thanks for the replies. I'm just not into doing street approaches like this. I mean I approach people on stations when I go somewhere or talk in stores if I feel something to say. When it comes to streets I admit I am a keyboard jockey since I rely everything on what I used to know and old approaches. It was just a harsh revelation to be this bad. :]

Toni, yea you are 100% on the money. I do talk to people and meet at places beside social circles, but only when I feel a natural way to start it, I really do not think about it I just go. Stopping people is really not my style like that, not being able to check for interest as I use to. It's too much stress, I like it calm. :cool: I think I can manage without it. But I will improve in my other areas which I use more frequently.

Alpine. Yeah it takes alot of practice. The reason I wrote this rant was that I was very good at getting numbers in the street before, but now I just can't do it anymore. It's really no big deal because I can get it at other places. Just was an intense experience. :] And now lan is right if he call mee a keyboard jockey when it comes to streets. :]

Alwaysexcel. Yeah I can defintly relate to that. I do not feel bad or something, I think it's rather fun, at least I have approached. The title was meant "ohh do I suck" with a large grin on the face. :D
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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DeathDealer

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It's not about talking to as many strangers or women you don't know.

It's about knowing yourself and your limits.
 
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