"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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oh man. i need somebody to talk to right about my situation...!

M

Michele l'Arcangelo

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 5, 2005
Messages
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oh man. i need somebody to talk to right now about my situation if you can stay on and talk about it for a while.

dude im bummed/stressed like hell!

just post your AIM sn (only) here or PM me it.

i pretty much need somebody who can talk to me about it right now... since i need some quick help for tomorrow -- because if its to late... theres no point anymore to talk about it.

...a pretty BIG deal (to me)... im freaking out.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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J

j8snx1

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 24, 2005
Messages
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L.A., CA
j8snx1

lol, ill try to help to the best of my ability.
 
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