Officially dump or ghost?

[QuadDeuces]

My main girlfriend has been ice cold lately.
Flaking non stop, criticising me all the time, fights, she doesn't really want to have sex anymore, she told me the holidays she is going to spend abroad with her family and I'm not invited.
The relationship is belly up. Maybe/probably even banging another dude.

I am spinning 2 other plates, and those girls have higher interest level than my girlfriend so my attention is more on them lately in fact one of them is per my invitation is coming over to my place tonight because my girlfriend says she doesn't have time and is "busy with work" (again). I do really like my girlfriend, would hate to see her go, but am not emotionally attached to her.

Now my question is, should I officially dump my girlfriend, or should I just turn her into a plate and keep mirroring her actions. Being cold when she is cold, and being warm when she is warm, and let her take the iniative to date?

On one hand I feel like maybe it's a relief for us both to just cut it off, on the other hand I hate to lose a good drama free plate.

 

[QuadDeuces]

By the way she has been my gf since october, so not super long.

 

[sosousage]

find replacement then dump

 

[dude99]

My main girlfriend has been ice cold lately.
Flaking non stop, criticising me all the time, fights, she doesn't really want to have sex anymore, she told me the holidays she is going to spend abroad with her family and I'm not invited.
The relationship is belly up. Maybe/probably even banging another dude.

I am spinning 2 other plates, and those girls have higher interest level than my girlfriend so my attention is more on them lately in fact one of them is per my invitation is coming over to my place tonight because my girlfriend says she doesn't have time and is "busy with work" (again). I do really like my girlfriend, would hate to see her go, but am not emotionally attached to her.

Now my question is, should I officially dump my girlfriend, or should I just turn her into a plate and keep mirroring her actions. Being cold when she is cold, and being warm when she is warm, and let her take the iniative to date?

On one hand I feel like maybe it's a relief for us both to just cut it off, on the other hand I hate to lose a good drama free plate.

Dump. No sense in wasting time with a chick that is doing nothing but causing fighs being rude and you suspect she is cheating.

Dump and focus on your plates as you have been.

 

[derby1]

walk away .....like a man......when shes telling you your not invited to the holiday lets face it its over......

Dump her to her face like a man,
Expect the counter reply of "well i was thinking that too" ....that we all give to the woman lol

dont ghost someone youve got closer to, fck that disgraceful behaviour OP your better than that

 

[soulforge]

Wait she is your GF of nearly 2 months since Oct? Wow you became official too soon man!

Anyhow why keep a woman like this around as a plate.. She is disrespectful, does not treat you well..

Dump her officially, then time to ghost, until she is a distant memory!

 

[soulforge]

find replacement then dump

Dump whether you have a replacement or not.

 

[sazc]

Mirror with dumping being your close next choice. I say that b/c you may as well try and get sex.

Honestly, 2 months in and it's chaos, do you really need that? I'm so over chaos in my relationships. I'll dump in a heartbeat.
Chaos is not necessary, ever.

 

[Young OG]

Dump her before she dumps you. Keep spinning plates.

 

[sosousage]

Ghost unless there is something still to deal with.

What's an "official dumping" anyways? Taking her out for a meal and hoping you don't get wine thrown in your face? Get in a slagging match?

Over the phone? I assure you that doesn't rub well with this idea of "being a man" either.

Still get random myriad abuses from that:

View attachment 1190

Ghost and you take the sting out, and you don't burn bridges.

Don't be a white-knight basically, because you can't win playing that game

Lmao at that message. It affected her hard

 

[QuadDeuces]

Ghost unless there is something still to deal with.

What's an "official dumping" anyways? Taking her out for a meal and hoping you don't get wine thrown in your face? Get in a slagging match?

Over the phone? I assure you that doesn't rub well with this idea of "being a man" either.

Still get random myriad abuses from that:

View attachment 1190

Ghost and you take the sting out, and you don't burn bridges.

Don't be a white-knight basically, because you can't win playing that game

This is exactly what I mean, everytime I dumped a girl I got a similar response like this.
There is no drama atm, she is not jealous, maybe a little snappy and cold, but I just laugh and message my other girls.
I think mirroring is what I’m gonna do, until it fizzles out by itself and not burn bridges. Remember Im not really emotionally invested.

 

[derby1]

ghosting someone who youve been intimate with is the weakest fcking behaviour ive ever come across

plus youll probably make her even more BPD than she already is ....thats just great

So is dumping by text ....weak

If your happy enough to fck this woman like a man you should be happy enough to severe ties with her like a man, obviously you can NC/block after

tell her "she has categorically changed the terms of your relationship with her unattractive behaviour" and you are gone

 

[Glassguy]

I would be the dumper and not the dumpee. Dump her because it only lacks "the talk" before its over. I wouldnt even wait until you find a replacement. No reason to be around each other anymore if things are this bad.

She is not adding anything positive to your life.

Next.

 

[dude99]

ghosting someone who youve been intimate with is the weakest fcking behaviour ive ever come across

plus youll probably make her even more BPD than she already is ....thats just great

So is dumping by text ....weak

If your happy enough to fck this woman like a man you should be happy enough to severe ties with her like a man, obviously you can NC/block after

tell her "she has categorically changed the terms of your relationship with her unattractive behaviour" and you are gone

I personally like the pld fashioned face to face "welcome to dumpsville. Population.....you."

Then be done with them.

 

[derby1]

i agree dude99 face to face

 

[dude99]

Serious?

I would set up a date, get dressed up, travel (most girls I go out with live don't live close), spend time and money, just to give a witty one liner?

Also, when I dump rather than ghost, it's usually based on that i've let things get out of hand with a woman. Not because she's a b1tch (b1tches just get ghosted).

Not seeing any sense in where you guys are coming from, and i've had some sh1t experiences doing the face to face thing.

I think it's very silly, and makes no sense at all.

I am making light with the welcome to dumpsville but in seriousness now when ever a girl has worn out her welcome i have always done it face to face.

My rules are as follows:

Do it at her place this way YOU can leave. Never do it at your place. She wont leave. Even when you tell her to.
Make it clear the decision is final. Do not give a reason why. When a girl is dumped they know why. Them asking is only stalling and them looking to negotiate and twist it to blame you.
Never negotiate. It is done. It is final.
Make it clear she will not be in your future moving forward.

100% sever contact after this point.

 

[dude99]

I'm asking what the point is in the method, rather than sending a text.

Sending a text dumping a girl is weak in my opinion.

I remember when Brittney spears wanted to divorce K-fed she texted him telling him she was going for a divorce i just saw it as her hiding behind her phone because she lacked the balls to confront the situation.

 

[derby1]

women hide behind there phone ...not men

 

[sazc]

Idk I think @deesade is basically asking, she is disrespecting you, why bother giving her the respect of an in person breakup...?

In this case, there is some serious disrespect going on. Short of telling her off in a breakup text, ghosting is the best choice. She's going to know /be able to figure out that her nasty attitude got her ghosted. That's all the explanation she's going to need. And it's a really good way to silently communicate the lesson that if she disrespects then she will be disrespected right back, so think twice.

IMO at least

 

[soulforge]

Idk I think @deesade is basically asking, she is disrespecting you, why bother giving her the respect of an in person breakup...?

In this case, there is some serious disrespect going on. Short of telling her off in a breakup text, ghosting is the best choice. She's going to know /be able to figure out that her nasty attitude got her ghosted. That's all the explanation she's going to need. And it's a really good way to silently communicate the lesson that if she disrespects then she will be disrespected right back, so think twice.

IMO at least

I agree with Sazc.. This girl is clearly disrepecting op!

How many fuks is she giving about ops feelings right now? That's right.. a big fat fuking ZERO

She may also be banging other dudes..

Why should op go out of his way with a face to face dumping, when clearly she does not deserve it, with her crappy behaviour.

If it didn't workout with a girl, who happened to be a quality person, then yes i agree, she deserves to be given an explanation and closure.. But nasty, thoughtless toxic types don't deserve chit!

By the way I dumped my ex by text after nearly 2 years together, it was kinda long distance.. So there was no chance I was going travel to end things..

Plus near the end and throughout the relationship, she on many occasions didn't care or consider my feelings at all.

Wether she hurt or upset me, never crossed her mind.. Sending a dump text was all she deserved.