Naughty Ninja
Banned
Anyone up for an official So Suave/poster roast thread? Possibly picking a poster or the site itself and roasting them/it or any of the 'legends'? Fvck it. Let me have it. I need some LULZ.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Official Sosuave poster roast thread?
- Thread starter Naughty Ninja
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
That is insane that you posted this. I actually started a post this morning "roasting" this site based on common sayings here. I ended up not submitting it because I couldn't come up with enough material.
Some of the stuff I had was something like:
- No girl in the world is a virgin
- Every single girl is fvcking every guy she comes in contact with
- ^yet somehow, we are the prize and these other guys have nothing on us
- spin more plates
- everything gspsheilds says
- Naughty Ninja is the master at POF - yet never meets up with anyone.
- ALPHAROMEO must have a busted Caps Lock key.
Some of the stuff I had was something like:
- No girl in the world is a virgin
- Every single girl is fvcking every guy she comes in contact with
- ^yet somehow, we are the prize and these other guys have nothing on us
- spin more plates
- everything gspsheilds says
- Naughty Ninja is the master at POF - yet never meets up with anyone.
- ALPHAROMEO must have a busted Caps Lock key.
Naughty Ninja
Banned
PDubb75 said:
Damn that was painful! LMAO. (Yet true)
Any thread involving losers drives Floydb into Hulk rage. Hahahaha (Though I completely agree with his posts.)
Doc love's nonsense needs to be removed from the site. Especially that g@y ass pic of him and his poodle. WTF?!
Bigneil needs to stop dealing with strippers and then posting advice on how to get normal chicks.
Bigjimbo needs to stick to posting on HappierAbroad with the rest of the clowns who can't hack it in the US and Canada.
Purefilth
Master Don Juan
Lol
Judge nismo
Judge nismo
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Aristippus
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2012
- Messages
- 578
- Reaction score
- 141
Aristippus needs to stop having sex with inflatable dolls while watching porn and then bragging about how he "gets laid all the time". Judge Judy, ummm, I mean Judge Nismo's ruling. Case Closed ya deuchebags!
Doc Love's uncle drives a creepy "molester van" with blacked out windows and hands candy to little children while dressed up like the "It" clown.
Doc Love's uncle drives a creepy "molester van" with blacked out windows and hands candy to little children while dressed up like the "It" clown.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
Bring it.
5string
Master Don Juan
I'm with Rollo.
Fire away fellas. I can handle it.
Fire away fellas. I can handle it.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Aristippus
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2012
- Messages
- 578
- Reaction score
- 141
Rollo induces competition anxiety in his right hand by using his left hand.
Solomon gave up looking for women so as not to make his life sized Zyzz doll jealous.
Desdinova's spent so much time on Sosuave he's become delirious for claiming he's going to fck someone's girlfriend knowing full well all of these guys are foreveralone virgins.
Desdinova's spent so much time on Sosuave he's become delirious for claiming he's going to fck someone's girlfriend knowing full well all of these guys are foreveralone virgins.
Love's Orphan
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2012
- Messages
- 123
- Reaction score
- 0
Judge nismo needs to update his lines. There are no castles here! This isnt the 19th century! Your princess is in another walmart!
SamTheHobit
Master Don Juan
I hate everyone on this forum.
You can all go get fvcked.
Especially Iceberg
And Nimso who thinks this is a fvcking courtroom.
You can all go get fvcked.
Especially Iceberg
And Nimso who thinks this is a fvcking courtroom.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
SamTheHobit
Master Don Juan
Lol xDAristippus said:
Purefilth
Master Don Juan
Love's Orphan said:
...Its from Mario, not the 19th century:trouble:
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
This thread could get messy. Should be interesting...
Who Dares Win
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2012
- Messages
- 7,426
- Reaction score
- 5,803
Atom smashers keep chasing girls despite his age but actually doesnt remember the reason and feel disoriented when manage to catch the slow ones.
5String has the same problem of Atom, except that he is too old even for catching the slowest ones.
"Dear Scaramouche" the fact that you're communicating through writing here doesnt mean that all your posts have to look like a paper letter to your auntie.
Aso being older than atom and 5string he has the same problem twice the intensity, he tries to chase girls without remembering the reason but due to his rheumatism problems has to walk at the most.
Backbreaker should realize that his love for horses is a sign of hidden homosexuality, how else do you explain the love for something which has a big c0ck and has people riding it?
SamTheHobit should realize that he is not the coolest kid of the school just because his auntie said so.
Jaylan's penis envy and ego investment is so hard and uncontrolled that she feels the need to join men self help forum only to bash those who dare speak badly about women and shaming them.
Probably 5strings catched her once but didnt do anything to her and felt asleep, thats the reason of her anger.
Rollo's marriage wont last that much if he keeps observing his wife and mindfvck her head with games instead of banging her.
Roosh should hit the gym, dress sharply, running game only after buying some napalm and useing it as a herbicide on his arms and shoulders.
Otherwise fill an application for star wars remake as the wookie.
Anyway guys keep it easy Atom said the threadh could get messy and I dont want any of you to be banned after he will remember where he left his glasses and his awakening pills.
5String has the same problem of Atom, except that he is too old even for catching the slowest ones.
"Dear Scaramouche" the fact that you're communicating through writing here doesnt mean that all your posts have to look like a paper letter to your auntie.
Aso being older than atom and 5string he has the same problem twice the intensity, he tries to chase girls without remembering the reason but due to his rheumatism problems has to walk at the most.
Backbreaker should realize that his love for horses is a sign of hidden homosexuality, how else do you explain the love for something which has a big c0ck and has people riding it?
SamTheHobit should realize that he is not the coolest kid of the school just because his auntie said so.
Jaylan's penis envy and ego investment is so hard and uncontrolled that she feels the need to join men self help forum only to bash those who dare speak badly about women and shaming them.
Probably 5strings catched her once but didnt do anything to her and felt asleep, thats the reason of her anger.
Rollo's marriage wont last that much if he keeps observing his wife and mindfvck her head with games instead of banging her.
Roosh should hit the gym, dress sharply, running game only after buying some napalm and useing it as a herbicide on his arms and shoulders.
Otherwise fill an application for star wars remake as the wookie.
Anyway guys keep it easy Atom said the threadh could get messy and I dont want any of you to be banned after he will remember where he left his glasses and his awakening pills.
SamTheHobit
Master Don Juan
Who dares win likes to have penis in his mouth.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.