Of erections, proms, and jealousy.

[teencraft]

I think I'm impotent, last night and prom I didn't get one boner and we were grinding like there's no tomorow...and she was fine as hell.

 

[wavejams007]

teencraft, you think, therefore you are. LoL.

 

[Maeisgood]

Okay, here's how it went.

1) No confrontations.
2) I won prom king.
3) I lost my date.

Dinner went well. I walked in, dressed up really awesome, blew some smoke rings, made Lauren's whole family laugh. The guy who is going out with Lauren is nice, wasn't big and scary, and I seemed to be the prize, as I kept conversation going and made folks laugh. I think her mom likes me or something, I don't know really. I would have gone for her also if I was her age. She's just like her daughter. She later kissed me on the check when no one was looking.

Now, my date and I were friends, but I had joked perhaps a little too harshly. She is a dancer and extremely self-conscious. When our teacher asked who I was going with, I said something to the effect of "no one important" with her in the room. I always bust on women, at the time I thought this was no different. But we passed notes and talked and stuff afterwards, so I didn't think I got her to hate me. I just trying to be challenging. She probably would respond better to flattery.

At dinner and on the way to prom, we talked and seemed to have a good time. I even complemented her. I don't do this very often. AFC's do that too much. At prom, I went to use the bathroom and when I got back she was gone. She was dancing with other chicks! She gave me the cold shoulder and ignored me.

Then time came for the prom court to assemble. I was elected king and it was great. When I went back to her, she was dancing with some other guy. I was totally shocked. I never read a DJ e-mail about anything like this. I probably wouldn't have normally made a big deal about, but I really hate the guy who she was dancing with. I tried to get her to talk to me but she ignored me, and her other friends were being *****es. So I did what any DJ would do, and danced with tons of other girls.

Later I remembered that DJs aren't supposed to apologize so I told her off and made her cry. The other guy didn't even do anything. Only Lauren and her date talked to her. Lauren and her date felt bad for me. Today at school, Lauren came up to talk to me and laughed at a joke I had.

****************************************************
This how it went. I was pimpin', but betrayed in the same night. I need you all's help.


1) After making her feel bad, how can I try to get to be my date's friend again?

2) My date told me that Lauren's boyfriend is moving. How should I make use of this?

3) How do you know if you bust their balls too hard? I think this may be what happened to my date.

 

[Nivek]

similar situation happened to me, except i didn't win prom king ;D. so congrads on that. my plan was just to ignore my date and cut off relations. no big loss for me because my dates actions totally turned me off and she fell into the negatives on the 10 scale.

 

[familyguyfan]

Damn, what the hell did you say to make her cry?


Nice job on the other stuff though. See, we all said it wouldn't be awkward.

 

[Luveno]

Ok dude, here's the deal.


If you don't want a boner to show, the best bet is to wear tighty whiteys. When you feel the boner come on, configure it to that its facing up. She wont notice it.

The prom is a dance. Its not some huge giant event. Its a dance with a bunch of people youll never dance with again, which is probably a good thing.

Youre going with your exs best friend eh....this is your time to be a jerk and screw her. Now THAT would be a prom story to tell.

---------

whoa, didn't read your last post...whatever...you're done High school..don't even worry about these slu ts. The real world holds bigger better things.

 

[Maeisgood]

1) You guys, the girl I like's mom kissed me on the face. What does it mean?

2) Lauren's boyfriend is moving 3 states away, should I move in?
How should I do this? What if we go to different colleges? That starts in August, I'm not sure when he's moving. I suspect they'll try to keep the relationship alive but give up. When they do, I hope I'm around for it. She comes up to me and talks and wants to hang out, but I'm always too busy to do anything. She also says sometimes that I remind her of her brother. I have heard women marry men who are like their dads and brothers. I hope I'm not falling for some kind of bait or getting my hopes up. I wish I wasn't so picky. There are girls out there I can get, but none are very interesting.

3) Familyguyfan, I think the girl has some sort of emotional probelms I'm not sure. She was in the wrong though. I even got her one of those flower things. I haven't talked to her since because it'd would have been awkward and it may make things worse.

 

[familyguyfan]

Originally posted by Maeisgood
1) You guys, the girl I like's mom kissed me on the face. What does it mean?

2) Lauren's boyfriend is moving 3 states away, should I move in?
How should I do this? What if we go to different colleges? That starts in August, I'm not sure when he's moving. I suspect they'll try to keep the relationship alive but give up. When they do, I hope I'm around for it. She comes up to me and talks and wants to hang out, but I'm always too busy to do anything. She also says sometimes that I remind her of her brother. I have heard women marry men who are like their dads and brothers. I hope I'm not falling for some kind of bait or getting my hopes up. I wish I wasn't so picky. There are girls out there I can get, but none are very interesting.

3) Familyguyfan, I think the girl has some sort of emotional probelms I'm not sure. She was in the wrong though. I even got her one of those flower things. I haven't talked to her since because it'd would have been awkward and it may make things worse.

Yes, you should move in. You are right in that they'll probably try and keep the relationship alive, then give up. And guess what? You have to be that thing that makes them give up. The "newfound love" that the one of them finds that makes them end their worthless long-distance relationship.

 

[Maeisgood]

1) I know there's no way I'm going to go after a girl's mother, who is married and has three kids about my age, but just out of curiousity, what does a random kiss on the face mean from her mom?

2) How should I turn her from a friend into a girl-friend? Apply more kino, keep up eye-contact, and what else?

3) Her friend left me at prom over a week ago. I want to remake her into a friend, but we havent even spoken to each other yet. Lauren and I speak together a lot and she punches my butt, but I don't know what to do about her friend (we'll call her Jessica).

 

[Drowning]

1) Fvck her mom. :cheer:


No, for real this time...

1) Beat the shlt out of yourself.

2) Stop obsessing over Lauren. It's unhealthy.

3) Reinforce this fact that obsessing over Lauren is unhealthy by beating the shlt out of yourself again.

4) Forget Lauren and find OTHER GIRLS!

5) STOP OVER-ANALYZING!! YOU'RE READING WAAAAY TOO FAR INTO THIS SH1T!!

 

[Maeisgood]

That was what I was trying to do by going with Jessica. But Jessica is a ***** and many girls are. Now that Lauren is going to be single again, I want to have another go at this. If it fails, and it probably will, then I will not have lost anything. However, if there is a chance, I want to go about this properly. Can anyone agree with me on this at least?

People say I overanalyze. I don't see any other way to do this. There is so much to do and remember. This whole dating thing is obviously not my thing so I need all of the advice I can get. My friends are all AFC's and are horrible with secrets.

I've never had a girlfriend before and I want help.

 

[JSH]

ignore this girl lauren, go out and hit on the other hoes

 

[Maeisgood]

I'm not into "hoes". This is why I like her. If I was into "hoes" I would have never have had to look for help, because I could help myself to all of the vaginas I wanted to. Here's how to get a girl the common way:

1) Get her drunk.
2) Get you drunk.
3) Get physical.
4) Now you're banging her.

What honor is there in that? Anyone can do that. I can't stand women whose vaginas are such popular destinations that they have guest books and frequent rider miles.

Pretend I'm someone else after a different girl.

How can I turn this friend into a girlfriend in a short time?

I want to feel like I did something worthwhile during my high school years. I want to be more than a sexual predator.

 

[Mr. Debonaire]

Originally posted by Maeisgood
I want to be more than a sexual predator.

:crackup:

maeisgood, you do you realize who your talking to right bud?

 

[Maeisgood]

A master gets to where he is by sleeping around or something. I'm not like that.

 

[chill]

1) you have the worst case of one-itis i have ever seen.

2) i think you still hold a little of that un healthy x-factor that we all had when we first discovered this site ( by x-factor i mean slight geekiness mixed with uncertainty and something else). now normaly i would tell you to just read my sig. but im going through a similar predicament right now, so ill just say that after this guy moves away to crank up the DJing, be the other love and gaet the girl.

 

[JSH]

Originally posted by Maeisgood
I'm not into "hoes". This is why I like her. If I was into "hoes" I would have never have had to look for help, because I could help myself to all of the vaginas I wanted to. Here's how to get a girl the common way:

1) Get her drunk.
2) Get you drunk.
3) Get physical.
4) Now you're banging her.

What honor is there in that? Anyone can do that. I can't stand women whose vaginas are such popular destinations that they have guest books and frequent rider miles.

Pretend I'm someone else after a different girl.

How can I turn this friend into a girlfriend in a short time?

I want to feel like I did something worthwhile during my high school years. I want to be more than a sexual predator.

HOES is a phrase.

You dont get it, and no for the record, that is not how i pick up girls, that shows no subtlty. Lets put it this way, if i pick up a girl and meet her again a year later, she still wants me and i know this through experiance. I AM A VIRGIN, I HAVE NOT HAD SEX, therefore how can i be a sexual predator. I have turned down good looking, smart, intelligent girls who wanted to have sex. My girlfriend is really smart, hardworking and sexy (shes going to Oxford and my entire year thinks she is pretty, including all the girls). She wants to get laid, i currently dont, i have walked out on her before with her naked. NOW THIS IS A HOT GIRL.

Honour? what has that got to do with anything, do you play too much dungeons and dragons. Look im english, i know what honour is, im honourable, but im not STUPID.

Now the advice you get is the same if you were a different guy after a different girl, if you try posting under another user name, you would get the same advice. The easiest way to pick her up would be through Speed Seduction, but that is totally dishonourable and is controlling and takes too long to learn, so your stuffed .

The reason you have not got lauren yet, is that you have not listened to us or processed the information that you have been given. People say that you have one itis - it is true - you are obsessed with this one girl. You admit you are obsessed with this one girl because IN YOUR EYES she is perfect.

Now running through your prom night, you were awful. YOU MADE YOUR DATE CRY and she wasnt doing anything wrong, dancing with someone else does not mean anything. If you had been a good date then maybe she wouldnt have danced with him, instead you are too hung up over this other girl.

How is picking up this one girl something worthwhile, it sounds like an obsession and they are dangerous, it leads to becomming a stalker. Lets put it this way, if you asked her out and she said no: then end of story, if she said yes then you are with her, easy. One of my closest friends went through a series of shes the one girls at school, he never got with a single one, but he had the balls to ask them out, therefore he got over them.

GO AND ASK LAUREN OUT NOW if you are not going to listen to us. Then come back and read what i say next.

The reason that she said no and the reason we tell you to drop her and go onto other "hoes" is because your value system is screwed. I bet if you looked you would find at least another 10 girls like lauren, i know i did, my girl was called, oh i dunno lets call her, Caroline and now i know many other Carolines. This is because i tried to forget about her, even when i got my first girlfriend i was still thinking about her, ignoring her is hard, but you can still remain friends. Hit on other girls, learn how to succeed with other girls, this does several things

teaches you to pick up girls, therefore you will know how to pick up lauren

makes lauren jealous as she sees you enjoying yourself with other girls

builds you into a cool boyfriend, one that Lauren would like to have

:crackup: makes you less dependent on her, therefore more attractive as you are no longer obsessed.

:cheer: the changes you make to get these other girls will help you get Lauren.



Now this girl Caroline who i was obsessed over, i still find her extremely attractive. Once i had picked up several other girls i went back to her, i made her love me really badly, i spent two evenings in a row with her trying to watch a film, she just tried to undress me and spent the whole time kissing me. See, what a turn around. Skip a year or so and i have kissed her several other times, but have always gone away to other girls, im not dependent on her. She has had bfs in between, but they didnt compare to me, so she dumped them. Now i have a new girlfriend, i still find Caroline attractive and i know she likes me.

SEE THE PROCESS IS SIMPLE : GO AND HIT ON OTHER WOMEN.

and you get the benefits of other women


PS: the advice you get here is only that, but why do you treat other things as rules (oh no, DJs dont apologise and therefore hurt someone) but treat this basic thing as stupid. If you listen, you will learn.

EVEN IF YOU DO NOT WANT OTHER WOMEN, GO AND HIT ON THEM

 

[Cloud-uk]

Later I remembered that DJs aren't supposed to apologize so I told her off and made her cry. The other guy didn't even do anything. Only Lauren and her date talked to her. Lauren and her date felt bad for me. Today at school, Lauren came up to talk to me and laughed at a joke I had.

Read JSH's post again. In fact, print it out and staple it to your cat.

And here's another little nugget of genius, you don't want to be acting "like a DJ". You just want to be getting in touch with your balls and "getting life". The bit I've quoted really stands out to me, and I'll tell you why. No where does it say that you shouldn't be apologetic. No where. Infact you've been an ass- you probably should say sorry!

Now, I'm going to try and show that you are being a hypocrit so that you can knock girls off the pedestal you've put them on, especially this Lauren girl.

1) You say it is 'dis-honourable' to call a girl a ho and be promiscuous.

2) You make a girl cry because it's what you thought was the right thing to do.

Read 'em and weep mate, because you aren't the moral star you seem to think you are. As has been eloquently put, we're helping you become:

a cool boyfriend, one that Lauren would like to have

..and I know you will agree that this would be a far better thing to be, someone who is happy and makes others happy, rather than a "DJ" who makes their date cry!

Anyway, don't worry about it. Prom is meaningless and you have a world of poon ahead of you. Relax, be thankful you've gota place with answers in it and ditch that DAAMN LAUREN GIRL!

NB: Honour is for Samurai, whom AFCs and idiots agree are awesome (credit: Maddox)

 

[Maeisgood]

She cried, not because she was mad at me, but because she was mad at herself. Jessica knew what she did was wrong. She could have at least said no when I asked her. Her best friend probably agrees more with me because she hasn't said anything about me being in the wrong and talks to me. Jessica is afraid to talk to me too. The first school day afterward she mysterious missed the class I'm in. I pulled her aside and offered her a seat and a drink and tried to reason with her and she started crying. You know how girls can be sometimes...

She acts all Christian and stuff one minute, the next like some slutty gangsta b!tch. I can see right through her. I've heard she does nasty things she'll later regret later.

I do hit on other girls, a lot. Its fun. But once college comes, she'll basically be gone so it won't matter any longer. I just want to feel like the time wasn't wasted.

All I wanted was to know how to ask her.

I'm hoping when college is here and I've seen new girls and forgotten about Lauren, I'll ask them out sooner and not need help anymore.

Also, I like the thing about the cat.

 

[JSH]

Hey, do you want to go out on a date with me.

It is the best way, but if you tried it on with other girls you dont care about, first, for the reasons iv listed it, it will give you more of a chance with Lauren and secondly you will know how to do it more effectively.

But read my earlier post and digest it, learn to understand.