Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Yes, you should move in. You are right in that they'll probably try and keep the relationship alive, then give up. And guess what? You have to be that thing that makes them give up. The "newfound love" that the one of them finds that makes them end their worthless long-distance relationship.Originally posted by Maeisgood
1) You guys, the girl I like's mom kissed me on the face. What does it mean?
2) Lauren's boyfriend is moving 3 states away, should I move in?
How should I do this? What if we go to different colleges? That starts in August, I'm not sure when he's moving. I suspect they'll try to keep the relationship alive but give up. When they do, I hope I'm around for it. She comes up to me and talks and wants to hang out, but I'm always too busy to do anything. She also says sometimes that I remind her of her brother. I have heard women marry men who are like their dads and brothers. I hope I'm not falling for some kind of bait or getting my hopes up. I wish I wasn't so picky. There are girls out there I can get, but none are very interesting.
3) Familyguyfan, I think the girl has some sort of emotional probelms I'm not sure. She was in the wrong though. I even got her one of those flower things. I haven't talked to her since because it'd would have been awkward and it may make things worse.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
:crackup:Originally posted by Maeisgood
I want to be more than a sexual predator.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
HOES is a phrase.Originally posted by Maeisgood
I'm not into "hoes". This is why I like her. If I was into "hoes" I would have never have had to look for help, because I could help myself to all of the vaginas I wanted to. Here's how to get a girl the common way:
1) Get her drunk.
2) Get you drunk.
3) Get physical.
4) Now you're banging her.
What honor is there in that? Anyone can do that. I can't stand women whose vaginas are such popular destinations that they have guest books and frequent rider miles.
Pretend I'm someone else after a different girl.
How can I turn this friend into a girlfriend in a short time?
I want to feel like I did something worthwhile during my high school years. I want to be more than a sexual predator.
Read JSH's post again. In fact, print it out and staple it to your cat.Later I remembered that DJs aren't supposed to apologize so I told her off and made her cry. The other guy didn't even do anything. Only Lauren and her date talked to her. Lauren and her date felt bad for me. Today at school, Lauren came up to talk to me and laughed at a joke I had.
..and I know you will agree that this would be a far better thing to be, someone who is happy and makes others happy, rather than a "DJ" who makes their date cry!a cool boyfriend, one that Lauren would like to have
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.