Immaculate
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2003
- Messages
- 679
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- Age
- 48
Should I keep chatting with her in AIM or just get the hell out.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Originally posted by WestCoaster
Like the Bay Area 'ho he slapped a "9" on (she was a 6 at best), this one is topping out at 5 -- if that. The first pic of her smiling is the best and on that one she's coming in at 5.5.
Hopefully she has a nice personality, she's not higher than a "6" at best. Definitely not worth this long thread ... my goodness Immaculate, you need to get out more.
This girl is cute, not beautiful, just cute. And yes, I love her personality.Originally posted by WestCoaster
Like the Bay Area 'ho he slapped a "9" on (she was a 6 at best), this one is topping out at 5 -- if that. The first pic of her smiling is the best and on that one she's coming in at 5.5.
Hopefully she has a nice personality, she's not higher than a "6" at best. Definitely not worth this long thread ... my goodness Immaculate, you need to get out more.
It's time for you to learn the next step along the path of the DJ young Grasshopper, Skywalker, Apprentice (take your pick).Originally posted by Immaculate
She wanted me to come over tonight and I told her I already have a date. She acted a bit mad and countered she had a date Thursday (I think she's lying).
Anyway why would she get mad? She's the one who keeps saying we aren't compatible and it will never work. And when we went to Best Buy together I tried to hold her hand and she said "hey no public displays of affection, who knows who might be in there"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
In my opinion this was a little over the top."I think you're old enough when you realize that there
is no 1 perfect person, have had enough relationships
to know what you REALLY find important in a partner,
and are comfortable enough with each other that you
are the same person with your partner as when you are
alone. Love isnt pretty, there will be times when you
have to be there at each others worst- like during
sickness. After that, you just have to understand that
no one person can fill all the voids in your life, so
you have to be committed to stick with that person
despite their shortcomings and not let it grow into
anger and resentment. Encourage each other to have
other friendships, support one another as you are one
team, remember to make them feel desired and special,
and be willing and able to adapt as they grow and
change. And remember that there are no rules to what
is acceptable and not acceptable in relationships...
make your relationship the way you and your partner
want it, not what the rest of society considers the
norm.
But more than anything else, you have to have to be a
challenge for each other. No one wants someone that
they have wrapped around their finger and no one can
last as a doormat forever. A little give and take that
keeps you both on your toes is the perfect way to keep
you both motivated, committed, and happy.
Lets face it, though, as a society we are always
looking for the next best thing... from jobs, to cars,
cell phones, ring tones, face lotions, and people.
With a seemingly infinite source of new faces and
personalities in our lives and online, its all to easy
to one-up or second guess the person you're with. So
why fight it? Go with the flow and have fun meeting,
learning, growing, and experimenting with different
people until you find someone that trumps it all and
you just know- because there is no rational way to
analyze love or to justify it to others... you just
know because, well, you know. "
Then why does she still have me on her AIM buddy list? Wouldn't she have deleted me? I logged on today and she was online and said Hi to me, then said she was busy and logged off/blocked me. She hasn't been online since.Originally posted by Slickster
She says "I don't want to hang out with you anymore."
and you say.....
In my opinion this was a little over the top.
If it were me.....
She: "I don't wanna hang out with you anymore."
Me: "See you around."
Really Mac do you actually think that email is going to get her back? Who knows with this crazy chick it probably will.![]()
But when you are out there dealing with a more normal person I think an email like that will just drive the women further away. When she says she's not interested then what makes you think she wants to hear about your philosophies on life.
Not interested means not interested.
Good luck.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Immaculate...this woman cares less about this situation than you do...which gives her all the power and you all the vulnerability. I am telling you this because I am typically the one who cares less about the guy and relationships I get involved in. There's only been a couple of guys I actually cared about losing. All the others I could give or take...whatever.Originally posted by Immaculate
That's fine.
This is great practice for me.
Originally posted by Wyldfire
Immaculate...this woman cares less about this situation than you do...which gives her all the power and you all the vulnerability. I am telling you this because I am typically the one who cares less about the guy and relationships I get involved in. There's only been a couple of guys I actually cared about losing. All the others I could give or take...whatever.
You ARE getting attached and you're trying to pretend you aren't. You're talking about this woman constantly and you are already changing things to suit her. You're going to get hurt if you keep it up.
what? What else should I do?Originally posted by Wyldfire
*shakes head*
You keep claiming you're done with her but you keep going back again. I don't believe for a minute that you're going to stop...in fact...you are probably already playing this scenario in your mind of her being your girlfriend.Originally posted by Immaculate
what? What else should I do?
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.