Odd situation (seems long but is just spread out)

[The Comeback Kid]

I know I haven't posted in a while, but I've been practicing what I learned here and it seems to be working. Unfortunately, there is one girl I've known for a few years and the situation I have with her is very strange (see below). I do not know the proper result towards how to handle this:

BRIEF TIMELINE OF EVENTS

10th grade - This was well before I entered the DJ world. Ibegan to get interested in this girl. After I talked to her the first time (E-Mail address), she and her friend had an excited giggle. A few days later, her guy friend (who I know) brought her to me and told me he wants to get us together....well, if only it was that easy. She said she liked another guy, but I persisted anyway. I was waaaay too nervous and the whole situation wasn't pretty (once she learned about the guy she liked being a drug addict, that dissolved quickly). Keep in mind I never did asked her out.

Summer after 10th grade - Towards the end of that school year, she starts talking to me out of nowhere (we didn't talk for 3 months). She was real friendly and all that - where did this come from?

Last year - In October, she wanted me to go to her Halloween job, but without my license or a car, I couldn't go. She also talked to me at Homecoming a lot. Later that year, she really started talking to me, so I did the logical thing and asked her out. First, I get a yes, then a no. Right after that, things got awkward, and the enthusiastic "hey!" I got before turned into a quiet "hi.".

This past summer and this year - We kept in touch during the summer (beginning and end). Right before school started, she started talking to me via IM often and excitedly. She invited me into a "buddy chat" with a few of her very close friends (2 guys, 5 girls) - she "re-invited" me after my stupid CPU logged me off. When school started, we happened to not see each other for the first two days (no classes together). Today, we said hi (well, she started) in the hall and when we talked for a sec, she didn't take her eyes off me.

So, as you can see, this "relationship" is very "on-off". Either we talk a lot or we don't talk. During the summer I consider my "DJ" time - I changed my persona a little bit and I am more laid-back and confident in regard to girls. I am not planning on "asking her out" anytime soon, but it's really tough to tell if she "likes" me or not. Even when she said no, she always seems to be hiding something and doesn't sound like she is real assertive about it (a lot of hesitiating). I am considering asking her to Homecoming in a little over a month (10/22).

How do I approach this?

P.S. A few days ago, two of my friends and I were discussing the homecoming dance in general. Out of nowhere, one friend (who talks to thi girl sometimes) asks if I'm taking her to Homecoming. I was thinking "WTF is this? That's kinda random." He later mentioned that he was talking to her online an hour before (he knew I liked her from last year though).

 

[Docs]

keep talking to her.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Originally posted by Docs
keep talking to her.

I suppose that's the best option right now. We did talk again last night, as she started the IM.

I am considering asking her to homecoming, but that is a long time from now (10/22). Considering people treat Homecoming a LOT bigger than I do (I won Homecoming Prince the past two years and I don't even see it as a very, very big thing), I'm figurung me "ask 2 weeks before" idea is a little too close/tight.

But back onto the real topic, like you said, I will keep talking to her and see what happens from there.

If anyone wants to offer any other advice, feel free to go ahead.

Oh yeah - she wants me to be at her volleyball game later this week. As long as I have nothing else to do, I'll probably go (I'll try to get a friend too).

 

[Docs]

post results ^^

 

[S-lemond]

post results

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Originally posted by Docs
post results ^^

Originally posted by E_ze05
post results

I'll post the "results", but do u want them from my IM conversations or from when I go to the game Wednesday?

 

[Docs]

anything worthwhile to suggest progress/failure.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Originally posted by Docs
anything worthwhile to suggest progress/failure.

Alright - I'll try my best to update you guys.

I think it was good that she started the IM chat last night - it showed the balance of starting the IM again. I feel it's best when there is a close to equal balance in terms of who starts the IM, so this is all good (she started on a pretty obvious question as well that she likely knew the answer too. The topic was just something about school - nothing real important).

Just out of curiousity (I think I mentioned this before), how far away is a good time to ask a girl to the Homecoming Dance? Again, people make a much bigger deal out of this than I do. I figured 2 weeks before is good, but it may be too close/tight - especially if someone else planned to ask her as well. Also, she'll have to get her dress and perhaps make arrangements w/ friends (she has a lot of close "girl" friends).

Again, I will update you when something that could be valuable happens (progress, importance, etc.).

 

[The Comeback Kid]

As I talk to this girl, again, I am just wondering when a good time to ask her to homecoming is. I felt 2 weeks was good, my friend feels 2-3 weeks is good, but I'm not sure.

You see, a lot of kids in my school treat homecoming like diehard football fans treat the Super Bowl. It's a very big thing. I see it as being a big event, but I don't go crazy about it. And for the first time in a while, our Homecoming Football game is actually a home game. :crackup:

Anyway, I just need this question answered because I want to get the timing down. I have a gut feeling that there is at least one other person who may try to ask her, and I don't feel like missing my chance (it just gives me a bad feeling when I miss it). As a reminder, the date of Homecoming is 10/22.

Thanks.

 

[Docs]

I know nothing about homecoming (since I don't have it)

I'd get a few more opinions from buddies and stuff about when to ask..but 2 weeks..sounds pretty good to me

 

[S-lemond]

.......

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Thanks (lol at Ez's reply)

Anyway, I did talk to her last night.

The topic was easy - her away message said her team won a volleyball tournament. First, we talked about the tournament (keep the focus on her) and her team in general. Then, the next topic involved my little sister, who for once became useful.

My little sis is trying out for the middle school volleyball team, and she told me to ask a high school Varsity player for advice if I can (I swear, I am not making this up). We talked for a little while after that, and then "I had to go." I try to be the first one to leave so it leves her wanting more.

Anyway, I felt the chat was good - a lot of funny comments thrown in there as well. She also gave me a big secret that only the team is supposed to know, so if I say anything in school about it, I'm finsihed lol.

I'll keep you updated of anything else happens.

 

[brenbaus]

when you go to ask her about Homecoming, bring it up in general convo

me"What do you think about H.C.?"
her"xxx"


go from there, ask her if she has a date, if you can take her, etc...

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Originally posted by brenbaus
when you go to ask her about Homecoming, bring it up in general convo

me"What do you think about H.C.?"
her"xxx"


go from there, ask her if she has a date, if you can take her, etc...

That could work...I think if the mood is right (timing, etc.) I could try it.

I may just stick to talking and all that first, so nothing feels forced or possibly awkward.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

We got another update for today....

We crossed paths in the hall at the beginning of lunch. She saw me first and said hey. She then stopped cuz she wanted to talk to me for a minute.

First, I commented on the shiny gold medal she was wearing for her team winning a volleyball tournament. She then teased me about not "congratulating" her team on the morning announcents (yes, I do the morning annoucnements at my school). Wisely,I told her if she wants me to say it, she has to come down to the main office and write it up (obviously when I'm there).

Afterwards, we talked about the team she was playing today (away game) and just some other small stuff. The while time, both of us were in a light (positive) mood, smiling and maintaining great eye contact throughout. I re-disscovered her attractive blue eyes.

The only thing I'm not sure about is if her home game is Wednesday or Thursday. I'll ask her that later.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

BUMP - Just wondering what u guys think. I know at least one or two people told me to write an "update", but if no one is really reading it and I'm not getting ANY feedback, I won't continue to "update".

 

[B-Lemond]

Hey Comeback Kid! You have made an OUTSTANDING improvement since you first joined this site. I remember you posts back then. It's funny how much you've turned into a DJ...well at least heading in that direction. I don't know what you did, but whatever it was KEEP DOING THE GREAT WORK! (what did you do by the way?) And yeah, keep us updated!

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Originally posted by bluelemond
Hey Comeback Kid! You have made an OUTSTANDING improvement since you first joined this site. I remember you posts back then. It's funny how much you've turned into a DJ...well at least heading in that direction. I don't know what you did, but whatever it was KEEP DOING THE GREAT WORK! (what did you do by the way?) And yeah, keep us updated!

Thanks - I really appreciate it.

Actually, I have no clue what I did...my guesses are

1.) That I'm a Senior, so I only have one more year of high school.
2.) I have become more laid back, more confident IMO and I am getting better at C+F.

but I actually don't really know lol. It may have been a few mosts on these boards that changed my thinking.

Well, I just IMed the girl. She said there is no way she can get to school before the bell for first period (she takes the bus, which comes late). So, while being C+F, I offer to drive her (menaing I did use some C+F in there). She realizes I live 10 minutes away and said she would take it, but doesn't want me to screw up my schedule just for her (she said she wanted the ride too). She also said I was "awww, so nice" rolleyes: ) and "very funny" ) ).

Her volleyball team won a tournament and I have to remember that they won so I say it on the morning announcements. She said that if her bus came earlier, she'd come in to see me, but her bus is late.

That's the most recent update.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

TODAY (9/13)

Today wasn't "very" eventful, but it had its ups and downs. When I saw her the first time, we talked for a sec, but she saw her guy friend (I think he may have a gf, but he and this girl are "friends") and hugged him. I had to get to class anyway, so I survived that.

But my biggest weakness - jealousy (although I don't show it) reared it's ugly head.

I saw her talking to my friend later for a minute (I mis-timed seeing her by like 30 seconds cuz I got let out of class 30 seconds early)...jealousy came back for a little bit (but I don't show it).

After last period, I happened to see her (I was going to pretent I had allergies and needed a drink at the water fountain by her locker), and I didn't need to use the strategy. We talked for a few minutes - I made a joke based on something she said (she laughed and even built on it). We walked together and talked for around five minutes before I said I had to go. Two actors (likely gay - no offense) talked to her while we were still walking. She then said hey to someone she knows that was sitting on hte bench (decent muscularity) and that's when I said I had to go (didn't want to risk standing and waiting there for a minute).

Also, does it mean anything if she's happy that I have some of her friends in my classes?

Any advice/comments/suggestions?

 

[B-Lemond]

Yeah, heres a suggestion...NEXT!

I think you have one-itis. DO a search on it to see if you do. It's over with this girl. Just get over it. I didn't even read the whole thing but I can tell you have one-itis because:
1) She's from sophmore year.
2) You talk about her too much.

Just move on. There are plenty of girls just go get them. Stop playing these games, it's not worth it!

Good luck and keep up the good work!