Odd question, but where do you guys make good friends?

[BPH]

I figured I'd ask this here because I'm not sure where else to ask it.

I'm 28, single, and I like going out and hooking up with women. Unlike me, most of my friends I'd go out with on weekends to the bars and stuff are in relationships and have basically stopped going out altogether.

Now I'm ok going out by myself, I don't need a wingman but it would be nice to have like-minded guys to chill with when I'm not actively talking to some chick. Because of course, it feels a little awkward to sit there by myself sipping a drink until there's someone I want to meet.

Most of my friends have come from work and the gym, but as I said, all relationships.

Not sure what kind of responses I'd get or hope to get from this, but I thought I'd ask since it gets expensive and feels awkward at times just being there by myself.

 

[Gamisch]

There are different types of friend. The saying goes, "show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are."

You meet people, click with certain people and form a naturel bond. This "reflection " , is good upon who you are, what you did in life.

Now here's the thing: you cannot change people into what you wish them to be. A wingman preferably is a spam approached, and these people aren't necessarily the kindest people . A spammer needs a dgaf mentality, which might translate into being a a hole .

At the end of the day approaching is a individual game. Even if you are in a group of a 100 men, it's still each man for their own.

Basically I am trying to say, be your own wingman. Then you might meet a dude on the same level of thinking, and these types of "bonds" never last forever.

 

[BPH]

There are different types of friend. The saying goes, "show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are."

You meet people, click with certain people and form a naturel bond. This "reflection " , is good upon who you are, what you did in life.

Now here's the thing: you cannot change people into what you wish them to be. A wingman preferably is a spam approached, and these people aren't necessarily the kindest people . A spammer needs a dgaf mentality, which might translate into being a a hole .

At the end of the day approaching is a individual game. Even if you are in a group of a 100 men, it's still each man for their own.

Basically I am trying to say, be your own wingman. Then you might meet a dude on the same level of thinking, and these types of "bonds" never last forever.

I get what you're saying here. I'm not really looking for a wingman because I firmly believe that somebody "trying to help" often does more harm than good since I know very few guys who sleep around as I do.

I just find it tiresome to go out to the bars by myself and just sit there twiddling my thumbs while I wait and look around for some girl I feel like talking to. It's just more fun with other like-minded guys but all my friends are whipped and in relationships where they don't really go out so I just thought I'd come here and ask.

 

[eli77]

There are different types of friend. The saying goes, "show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are."

You meet people, click with certain people and form a naturel bond. This "reflection " , is good upon who you are, what you did in life.

Now here's the thing: you cannot change people into what you wish them to be. A wingman preferably is a spam approached, and these people aren't necessarily the kindest people . A spammer needs a dgaf mentality, which might translate into being a a hole .

At the end of the day approaching is a individual game. Even if you are in a group of a 100 men, it's still each man for their own.

Basically I am trying to say, be your own wingman. Then you might meet a dude on the same level of thinking, and these types of "bonds" never last forever.

Well said

 

[eli77]

I have very few friends from a high school days so I could depend on now once you hit the real world so to speak you join the military have a family and even die and never confusing you already with loyalty that's all I can tell you

 

[BPH]

See my thread on service sector game, but beware of the drinking pitfall

Service Industry Game

1. Choose a bar that has bartenders of similar age. Patrons don't matter. 2. The bar should have a high frequency of travelers coming and going, not just a glorified clique. 3. Become a regular at the bar and make friends with the bartenders. Tip 25%. 4. Ask questions about local nightlife...

www.sosuave.net

Read it. Good advice but it seems like that's mostly about how to befriend staff at bars you frequent. Not quite the same thing I was hoping for.

 

[Dragonfly]

Try to upkeep the friends you already made at an earlier age. It’s those longer term people that are of the richest value. As you get older you can see people who have long relationships and then those who relocated a lot and lost their roots. You want to keep those roots in tact almost like your dating life depends upon it.

If you are chatting it up with a women, mention your old friends from childhood and how you are still in touch. That stuff is golden.

Otherwise, you still have time in your 20’s to forge friendships. Think through about the people and places you associate with.

instead of a dive bar, try a golf course.
Instead of a cheesy restaurant, try an art exhibit.
Look for events focused upon healthy and enriching activity.
Dressing mindfully is a good start to garner respectful responses.

 

[SW15]

Making male friends isn't that difficult.

Making male friends that can help you with forming a social circle capable of arranging dates for you is difficult.

I have some male friends. I could probably spend more time on the male friends part of my life, but because dating/sex stuff takes up so much time, I don't spend a lot of time on forming new male friendships. My current male friends are all married men who aren't concerned with spending a lot of time with me. They are busy with their houses, dogs, and some are starting to have children. It's not personal, that's just how married men tend to be. Married men are notorious for starving male friendships with unmarried men, although they are probably ok at maintaining friendships with other married men.

An apartment complex is a good place to become friends with other men. If your apartment complex is 100+ units, I think there's a good chance that you can find a male friend.

You might be able to find a male friend in a co-ed sports league. However, a lot of men in co-ed sports leagues are trying to get their penises wet, so that might not be the ideal place to focus on making a male friend.

If you want to make male friends, focus on environments where women aren't too present. Once women are present, men and the male thirst are focused on trying to get with the women.

 

[corrector]

Just watch a video on the smartphone if you are bored.

 

[momentomori]

You might be able to find a male friend in a co-ed sports league. However, a lot of men in co-ed sports leagues are trying to get their penises wet, so that might not be the ideal place to focus on making a male friend.

If you want to make male friends, focus on environments where women aren't too present. Once women are present, men and the male thirst are focused on trying to get with the women.

This is too true. I tried making friends at a hiking meetup, and it was a bunch of gays trying to get it in with me or it was old ladies attending.

Also women tend to infiltrate every and any type of group.

I find it legit hard to make new guy friends, and I relate to OP. But I think if you do alpha, non gay sh!t like martial arts then maybe you can meet cool non-gay guys. Or maybe real estate investment meetups. I heard those are cool places to meet ppl. Gotta be serious about investing though.

 

[zekko]

When you talk about real, good, life long type of friends, it's a bit like catching lightning in a bottle. It's a rare thing, at least for me, to find that kind of connection. I'm not sure you can make it happen.

But most male friendships are built around having similar interests, or doing activities together, like golfing or fishing buddies. If you have particular interests, is there somewhere you can find others who share that interest?

 

[sangheilios]

@BPH

When you start getting into your late twenties to early thirties you'll find that many of your male friends and peers around your age are often going to be in relationships that are serious to some degree. As you mentioned, as a single man in this age bracket you'll find yourself a bit isolated and having to do things on your own. I am fairly close to your age range but honestly couldn't care less about being "alone". I have a ton of hobbies and activities that I engage in plus I'm very busy with various money making hustles I have going on plus some future career development with schooling in the works. I personally prefer being on my own and being my own boss in a way.

I personally am not a fan of the bar/nightlife scene, I just don't feel it's a great environment for men to meet women, if that's your reason for going there. I am not really big into partying so I always felt awkward in environments like this, just not for me but there is nothing wrong with going if you enjoy it. One thing to consider, which I'm sure you are aware of, is often times these women go in groups so opening on your own can be difficult. It's also a bit of an awkward feeling to be there by yourself just sipping on a drink or doing who knows what.

This is many years ago, but I used to force myself to go out to bars and clubs to approach women, this is back in 2018/2017. I had a couple particular places I liked to go to, they were mostly outdoor venues and if you went early(is) they were decently quiet and it wasn't all that difficult or intimidating to approach. I would go around 10ish and it wasn't that hard to find a woman by herself or maybe a pair of girls. Most of them were relatively open to interacting with me but the entire purpose of doing this was to just approach, I had no real intention of taking it any further. It was an interesting experience but what I took from it was that it just wasn't an environment where I felt natural and that it was a waste of my time for anything other than just practicing cold approaching.

The overall dating/mating market is much more difficult to navigate today, particularly post COVID lockdowns.

 

[SW15]

When you start getting into your late twenties to early thirties you'll find that many of your male friends and peers around your age are often going to be in relationships that are serious to some degree. As you mentioned, as a single man in this age bracket you'll find yourself a bit isolated and having to do things on your own. I am fairly close to your age range but honestly couldn't care less about being "alone". I have a ton of hobbies and activities that I engage in plus I'm very busy with various money making hustles I have going on plus some future career development with schooling in the works. I personally prefer being on my own and being my own boss in a way.

Yes, I have found this to be true. In my experiences with my local area friends, this occurred for me between 30-35 for the most part. I was able to hold this off for quite a while. Unattached and marginally attached men in their late 20s-early 40s are not well perceived by most social circles, which are dominated by strongly established (if not married) couples during this age.

Married men are also excellent at not spending time with their unmarried male friends, even for one-on-one get togethers. If you're in a strongly established unmarried couple, you have a better chance of keeping your married male friends. However, I have noticed that my married male friends don't even see all that much of their married male friends. Married men have a great way of self-isolating within their own coupledom. This happens with childless married couples but gets worse once their wives get pregnant and then children enter the picture.

I personally am not a fan of the bar/nightlife scene, I just don't feel it's a great environment for men to meet women, if that's your reason for going there. I am not really big into partying so I always felt awkward in environments like this, just not for me but there is nothing wrong with going if you enjoy it. One thing to consider, which I'm sure you are aware of, is often times these women go in groups so opening on your own can be difficult. It's also a bit of an awkward feeling to be there by yourself just sipping on a drink or doing who knows what.

This is many years ago, but I used to force myself to go out to bars and clubs to approach women, this is back in 2018/2017. I had a couple particular places I liked to go to, they were mostly outdoor venues and if you went early(is) they were decently quiet and it wasn't all that difficult or intimidating to approach. I would go around 10ish and it wasn't that hard to find a woman by herself or maybe a pair of girls. Most of them were relatively open to interacting with me but the entire purpose of doing this was to just approach, I had no real intention of taking it any further. It was an interesting experience but what I took from it was that it just wasn't an environment where I felt natural and that it was a waste of my time for anything other than just practicing cold approaching.

Lone wolf hunting at bars/nightclubs is challenging. I've been a lone wolf at a bar before. It's a little easier at quieter venues earlier in the night but it's never truly easy. Some venues are good for finding women isolated. These are mainly non-bar venues. I've had my best results with find isolated women for approach opportunities at fitness classes, grocery stores, and book stores. I had greater difficulty doing approaches at the mall. I also had read "Day Bang" before doing a lot of stuff. "Day Bang" is rather formulaic but not always easy to implement.

I have found outdoor approaching difficult due to earbuds. The outdoor paths that I frequent have 90%+ of women wearing earbuds and it has been that way for years. It's very difficult to get attention from women wearing earbuds. Outdoor approaching is easy if the women aren't wearing earbuds. The general gym floor also is challenging due to earbuds, which is why I have typically used the fitness class workaround at the gym. Even with the good ratios at classes, fitness classes aren't stellar for approaching because a lot of women are fairly anti-social before and after classes. I have gotten dates from them, but they've been a lower yield play than one would expect given the fantastic ratios.

The overall dating/mating market is much more difficult to navigate today, particularly post COVID lockdowns.

Yes, that's true. It's not like the 2000s-2010s were any great time for the market eiter, but I've noticed a decline since 2001-2007.

Most of my friends have come from work and the gym, but as I said, all relationships.

Not sure what kind of responses I'd get or hope to get from this, but I thought I'd ask since it gets expensive and feels awkward at times just being there by myself.

women tend to infiltrate every and any type of group.

I find it legit hard to make new guy friends, and I relate to OP.

I just thought of another way of making friends. If you graduated from college and live in a bigger metro area, your college likely has alumni events. I have gone to these and made friends. I've also gone to these to find dates.

I recommend NOT GOING to a game watching event. If your college/university has an alumni group that gathers for college football/college basketball games, the game watching events are a shiit show. People are too focused on the game to make meaningful connections. The general social events are better, especially if you want to find dates. I found it frustrating at alumni game watching events that even females in attendance weren't focused on meeting men.

There have been fewer alumni events since the onset of the pandemic. These types of events are coming back slowly.

 

[BPH]

@BPH

When you start getting into your late twenties to early thirties you'll find that many of your male friends and peers around your age are often going to be in relationships that are serious to some degree. As you mentioned, as a single man in this age bracket you'll find yourself a bit isolated and having to do things on your own. I am fairly close to your age range but honestly couldn't care less about being "alone". I have a ton of hobbies and activities that I engage in plus I'm very busy with various money making hustles I have going on plus some future career development with schooling in the works. I personally prefer being on my own and being my own boss in a way.

I personally am not a fan of the bar/nightlife scene, I just don't feel it's a great environment for men to meet women, if that's your reason for going there. I am not really big into partying so I always felt awkward in environments like this, just not for me but there is nothing wrong with going if you enjoy it. One thing to consider, which I'm sure you are aware of, is often times these women go in groups so opening on your own can be difficult. It's also a bit of an awkward feeling to be there by yourself just sipping on a drink or doing who knows what.

This is many years ago, but I used to force myself to go out to bars and clubs to approach women, this is back in 2018/2017. I had a couple particular places I liked to go to, they were mostly outdoor venues and if you went early(is) they were decently quiet and it wasn't all that difficult or intimidating to approach. I would go around 10ish and it wasn't that hard to find a woman by herself or maybe a pair of girls. Most of them were relatively open to interacting with me but the entire purpose of doing this was to just approach, I had no real intention of taking it any further. It was an interesting experience but what I took from it was that it just wasn't an environment where I felt natural and that it was a waste of my time for anything other than just practicing cold approaching.

The overall dating/mating market is much more difficult to navigate today, particularly post COVID lockdowns.

Yes, I have found this to be true. In my experiences with my local area friends, this occurred for me between 30-35 for the most part. I was able to hold this off for quite a while. Unattached and marginally attached men in their late 20s-early 40s are not well perceived by most social circles, which are dominated by strongly established (if not married) couples during this age.

Married men are also excellent at not spending time with their unmarried male friends, even for one-on-one get togethers. If you're in a strongly established unmarried couple, you have a better chance of keeping your married male friends. However, I have noticed that my married male friends don't even see all that much of their married male friends. Married men have a great way of self-isolating within their own coupledom. This happens with childless married couples but gets worse once their wives get pregnant and then children enter the picture.



Lone wolf hunting at bars/nightclubs is challenging. I've been a lone wolf at a bar before. It's a little easier at quieter venues earlier in the night but it's never truly easy. Some venues are good for finding women isolated. These are mainly non-bar venues. I've had my best results with find isolated women for approach opportunities at fitness classes, grocery stores, and book stores. I had greater difficulty doing approaches at the mall. I also had read "Day Bang" before doing a lot of stuff. "Day Bang" is rather formulaic but not always easy to implement.

I have found outdoor approaching difficult due to earbuds. The outdoor paths that I frequent have 90%+ of women wearing earbuds and it has been that way for years. It's very difficult to get attention from women wearing earbuds. Outdoor approaching is easy if the women aren't wearing earbuds. The general gym floor also is challenging due to earbuds, which is why I have typically used the fitness class workaround at the gym. Even with the good ratios at classes, fitness classes aren't stellar for approaching because a lot of women are fairly anti-social before and after classes. I have gotten dates from them, but they've been a lower yield play than one would expect given the fantastic ratios.



Yes, that's true. It's not like the 2000s-2010s were any great time for the market eiter, but I've noticed a decline since 2001-2007.





I just thought of another way of making friends. If you graduated from college and live in a bigger metro area, your college likely has alumni events. I have gone to these and made friends. I've also gone to these to find dates.

I recommend NOT GOING to a game watching event. If your college/university has an alumni group that gathers for college football/college basketball games, the game watching events are a shiit show. People are too focused on the game to make meaningful connections. The general social events are better, especially if you want to find dates. I found it frustrating at alumni game watching events that even females in attendance weren't focused on meeting men.

There have been fewer alumni events since the onset of the pandemic. These types of events are coming back slowly.

I just wanted to clarify a few things with my question here.

I don't have any problem going up to girls, alone or in a group, at the bar or club, or whatever. Where I live and how my day-to-day goes this is the only time I'm really around women - when I go out. Not a huge fan of that fact, but it is what it is.

As I mentioned I'm 28, and the closest "best" bar to me is a college bar located partly within a nearby campus. I admittedly feel out of place there sometimes seeing as I'm older, so being alone also makes me feel awkward there. Although I realize this is just in my head and aside from girls I've hooked up with that know me already, people won't really give a s***.

I'm just disappointed that most of my friends around my age are in serious relationships where they've stopped going out altogether, so it would be more fun to go out with guys who have similar mindsets as mine.

I have no problem with the formula I'm forced to live with and repeat, for the time being. I just want some company.

 

[Velasco]

Get a job at a bar/restaurant. Going out with the guys to the bars and hit on chicks after a late shift is just what you do

 

[Bible_Belt]

Friendship is shared interests.

 

[Zimbabwe]

@SW15

It’s all fine and cool to go and meet new people at uni, at work, or in class - but I’ve found unless you guys actually have some common interests - your friendship won’t really stick or develop. In other words, saying “hows your week been” every time you see someone - friendship will probably won’t go that far. One of my best friends today we had a so-so relationship until we discovered we both like Pokemon (he saw me by chance playing it online on my Nintendo Switch) and then boy we had heaps and heaps to talk about, then we wanted to stuff with each other outside of Uni, and now hes one of my best friends. I also got into sailing quite a while ago - joined a FB group, went with the group once, met people, and that was an easy way to make lasting friendships, as we had the mutual interest and then from there you get to go out for coffee and other stuff to build up friendships.

So yeah, its all about the hobbies. Go and find some hobbies would be my tip, invest in it - then go out and branch to meet new people. If you meet new friends at work, try and find out if you have any similar hobbies. If you like playing cricket, try and get into playing cricket casually, should be easy to befriend people there and then hey you have the cricket to talk about as well. Only disadvantage about getting into sports is the financial cost can add up (thinking of those on student budgets), but if its a long term investment, I would say its worth it.

If you’re at Uni, societies are all there as your stepping stone for meeting new people. If you already graduated, well that makes it a bit tougher but definitely not impossible - facebook groups and meetup.com would be the best bet to find something in your hobby and take it from there. Sydney is a very outdoorsy city, so I would definitely keep this in mind for when you try and find that hobby.

 

[lost_blackbird]

Solitude is underrated.

 

[VirtuousD]

Try the bumble app, there's a friends section. Honestly been a godsend for me.

 

[member160761]

It is easy to make acquaintances with men but harder to make genuine friendships. Finding men of principle is finding a needle in a haystack.