Odd issue in social settings

[Hypelogic]

Over the last five years I have heavily devoted myself to lifting weights and obtaining a “jacked” figure that makes me happy. Over the course of the last couple months, I have been approached a couple times in social settings (bar/club) by guys who want to arm wrestle (prove or mimic alpha status). Given that I am 36 and don’t feel the need to prove myself, I kindly decline and continue to socialize with my group. During one of these instances, the same guy approached me multiple times and would not back down. I ultimately told him he needed to respect my decision and allow me to continue to socialize with my group, as I had nothing to prove to him (used a calm, but authoritative demeanor and did not show emotion).

What I am looking for is feedback on how to handle any future related instances, while still maintaining a solid frame. Given my profession/business, any form of legal ramifications (fighting) are not an option.

 

[FuzzX]

In a really high voice, tell him you're gay and would love to hold his hand. Wink and smile.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Over the last five years I have heavily devoted myself to lifting weights and obtaining a “jacked” figure that makes me happy. Over the course of the last couple months, I have been approached a couple times in social settings (bar/club) by guys who want to arm wrestle (prove or mimic alpha status). Given that I am 36 and don’t feel the need to prove myself, I kindly decline and continue to socialize with my group. During one of these instances, the same guy approached me multiple times and would not back down. I ultimately told him he needed to respect my decision and allow me to continue to socialize with my group, as I had nothing to prove to him (used a calm, but authoritative demeanor and did not show emotion).

What I am looking for is feedback on how to handle any future related instances, while still maintaining a solid frame. Given my profession/business, any form of legal ramifications (fighting) are not an option.

WTF are with these dudes? Alcohol really causes stupidity to come out in a lot of people.

OP I think you handled it well, not much else you could have done except leave and go somewhere else but there is no guarantee there isn't another "Chip" at that place.

And yes...I nominate Chip to be the type of dudes who do these sort of socially weirdo things haha

 

[sangheilios]

I'm 6'4", naturally broad shouldered but have been into lifting/fitness my entire adult life and have a very solid/athletic physique weighing in at around 240. I can go into various physical feats that I am capable of but it is well beyond the scope of the vast majority of men, and I've never taken PEDs.

Anyway, I've had some instances that you might be able to gain from. There was one time I went out with some friends almost 2 years ago and one of them made a comment that the bouncers would posture up when I was there, so as to look domineering and in control by looking bigger. I've had other men behave aggressively towards me, at least in a verbal manner and one of the feelings I used to get was that they were doing this in order to try to intimidate me because they felt insecure. I tried jiu jitsu out at a gym in my area back in 2015, it was a meathead mma gym and had a terrible culture and base of not only students but instructors. Most of the guys there were small to average sized and would make comments about how my strength meant nothing and then proceed to try to verbally bully me. Something else that I've had happen a lot would be to have other men make remarks in order to put me down, something like "well you are able to do xyz but only because of abc", nonsense like that. I've also had women do stuff like this, albeit in a different manner, and the feeling I got was that it was a means to try to control me and make me feel insecure about myself.

I could go on with tons of examples but the take home is that these people are insecure and feel the need to control a person who they actually see as superior/out of their league.

 

[Hypelogic]

In a really high voice, tell him you're gay and would love to hold his hand. Wink and smile.

Add a finger gun somewhere in there and we may have a winning combination!

 

[Hypelogic]

I've never had guys randomly ask me to arm wrestle. Are you going exclusively to meathead establishments?

I reside in a tourist community, leaving the social scene to be a cluster of just about anything on a given night.

I'm 6'4", naturally broad shouldered but have been into lifting/fitness my entire adult life and have a very solid/athletic physique weighing in at around 240. I can go into various physical feats that I am capable of but it is well beyond the scope of the vast majority of men, and I've never taken PEDs.

Anyway, I've had some instances that you might be able to gain from. There was one time I went out with some friends almost 2 years ago and one of them made a comment that the bouncers would posture up when I was there, so as to look domineering and in control by looking bigger. I've had other men behave aggressively towards me, at least in a verbal manner and one of the feelings I used to get was that they were doing this in order to try to intimidate me because they felt insecure. I tried jiu jitsu out at a gym in my area back in 2015, it was a meathead mma gym and had a terrible culture and base of not only students but instructors. Most of the guys there were small to average sized and would make comments about how my strength meant nothing and then proceed to try to verbally bully me. Something else that I've had happen a lot would be to have other men make remarks in order to put me down, something like "well you are able to do xyz but only because of abc", nonsense like that. I've also had women do stuff like this, albeit in a different manner, and the feeling I got was that it was a means to try to control me and make me feel insecure about myself.

I could go on with tons of examples but the take home is that these people are insecure and feel the need to control a person who they actually see as superior/out of their league.

I definitely feel you on the posturing of other men when they feel insecure/want to intimidate you. Hell, I even had some random guy ask me if could hit the punching bag game (not sure what it is actually called) harder than him.....I just stared at him puzzled and then continued my conversation with my group.

At the end of the day I took it as a compliment, as you stated, they must have seen me as being superior to them and wanted to prove their worth/status.

 

[Jor-El]

One of my friends,who was a muscly guy and jacked,actually had his arm broken arm wrestling...apparently,its quite common,it places a LOT of undue pressure on a specific part of your arm,and,given that we are not made of metal,can and does eventually give out.Was in a cast for 2 months.I would avoid arm wrestling personally. PS. You dont need to give reasons for doing/not doing anything,simple as

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Hypelogic,
You did the right thing,many years ago I went to the Snow with a bunch of people everyone drank that night and one of the Girls was challenging all comers to an arm wrestle,she beat all comers eventually I was press ganged into wrestling her...At one stage,I thought I had her but No it was not to be,eventually she tore my Rotater Cuff...Not smart,I still suffer with it when I exert myself...turned out this Lady worked in an Abattoir was throwing sides of beef around all day.