Observations gaming at a bar full of college girls as an older guy.

[plumber]

OP, what you describe is culture not attraction. In the west.... huge effort has been applied to suggest shame for the age difference. We could go on an on about who and why that is, but it is. Get out of the west if your an older guy that is not a mess, and go to a bar with similar demographics but different culture. You can see a very different story unfold.

This topic is not about evolution, not about women, its about the crummy western culture that is.

A man has a set of value. he might be tall, he might be wealthy, he might be cute... he might be good talker. To win, it makes sense to exist in a place where the value you have is valued. Yes evolution drives this, but almost in equal dose, culture.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I’ve noticed a lot of people saying some version of “I’m older, but I look younger,” which suggests either that self-image is often more flattering than reality, or that improvements in technology and lifestyle such as grooming, fitness, and skincare have shifted how age is perceived overall.

The catch is that perception is relative and not absolute: if everyone looks younger than past generations, then no one gains a real edge from it. Looking young only matters if you look noticeably younger than the people around you, not just younger than people did years ago.

 

[Slowhandluke]

They don't "require" it, but good luck finding a woman who won't require it personally after a period of time.

I've met a lot of older guys... and older gals. After a while, it seems like the older gals accept it. If they dont the older guys just leave. The thing about being older is most guys just dont care. Especially those guys that have other things going on with their lives. They been through divorces, thought shiet test, they seen hot girls turn old; the roles reverse. the women pursue, and the guys dictate the terms. at least in the majority of older relationships that i see. There are edge cases but they are the minority.

 

[characternote]

I think recently this site has been visited by middle aged late bloomer men wishing time machines actually exist. Hence the hangup on much younger women.

but what happened to all of the posters who used to be here who would always say 'girls in their prime (18-25) get easier as you get older. If you are 45+ and these girls aren't throwing themselves at you, then there is something seriously wrong with you!' lol. There used to be lots of them posters. Did they finally wake up to reality?! I think about them sometimes lol

As for the OP's post, I feel like the rest of the world is becoming a bit like the UK which is something I actually kind of predicted a few years back. The whole 'stranger danger' thing.

Strangers not talking. Hostility. People glued together in their groups etc. (I felt like I sensed it beginning when i'd watch 'college vids' of youtubers chatting to people on the street and stuff and noticed the reactions seemed to be more and more hostile, much like what i'm used too here, whereas in old vids from years ago, I'd tihnk 'oh my god, American people are SO friendly and talkative and social with random people!!!'')

I remember having a friend visit from the US about 5 years ago, and he was amazed that so many hot girls were just sitting together chatting and could go a whole night without getting approached! It really is kind of rare, here. I guess guys learnt that you are likely to just get ignored or get a hostile reaction UNLESS you hit the magic target (magic target = a girl who thinks you are very handsome AND a girl who is unusually friendly and sociable lol)

An exception in the UK might actually be up North, though. Them geordies still know how to be 'normal'! (for now at least)


I personally still cold approach on nights out, but I often feel like i'm the only dude in my town doing it! lol. I've had some great results, many that i've written about, but it's a HUGE numbers game, and you need thick skin! Many hostile rejections haha

The only 'positive' of this is the idea of a guy trying to jump into your set (something I used to read US people used to hate) is just alien here! I do't tihnk it's ever happened to me in thousands of approaches lol (wouldn't cross most of their minds to approach her by hserlsef, never mind when she's talking too a guy!)

 

[Manure Spherian]

Ask yourself, what exactly would a man want out of an older woman. Attraction isn't the same between older and younger women. It's a very different thing.

Sex, companionship, a life partner/wife. Men age. So do women. Most older men cannot get women much younger. Also in a marriage, both people age.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I've met a lot of older guys... and older gals. After a while, it seems like the older gals accept it. If they dont the older guys just leave. The thing about being older is most guys just dont care. Especially those guys that have other things going on with their lives. They been through divorces, thought shiet test, they seen hot girls turn old; the roles reverse. the women pursue, and the guys dictate the terms. at least in the majority of older relationships that i see. There are edge cases but they are the minority.

But that's no way to be in a relationship. With a person who deeply resents you more and more every passing day. Just because someone "accepts" something doesn't mean they don't resent being forced to do so.

That's not a relationship built on love, it's one built on convenience and that's how people end up becoming roommates.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Strangers not talking. Hostility. People glued together in their groups etc. (I felt like I sensed it beginning when i'd watch 'college vids' of youtubers chatting to people on the street and stuff and noticed the reactions seemed to be more and more hostile, much like what i'm used too here, whereas in old vids from years ago, I'd tihnk 'oh my god, American people are SO friendly and talkative and social with random people!!!'')

It depends where you are at, but coincidentally the states with the most English backgrounds tend to have the most stranger danger vibes.

 

[Slowhandluke]

but what happened to all of the posters who used to be here who would always say 'girls in their prime (18-25) get easier as you get older. If you are 45+ and these girls aren't throwing themselves at you, then there is something seriously wrong with you!' lol. There used to be lots of them posters. Did they finally wake up to reality?! I think about them sometimes lol

you focus way too much on the guys... now ask yourself what happened to these girls who are now late 20s and mid 30s? these girls that are too picky? Reality hits both sides. beauty fades. did these women also "wake up"? if so, wake up to what reality?

nobody dates as much. Men as they get older, a lot just dont care anymore. but, look at all the ticktock that older women post. Men arent asking the same type of question: "where have all the men gone". the women are.

older women have more debts, are one of the first to get laid off during a recession. older men understand this better than the younger men. Men are the gate keepers of relationships. If women continue to over valued themselves, well... just dont focus on the guys, check out the women too. for every action, there is a reaction.

 

[Slowhandluke]

But that's no way to be in a relationship. With a person who deeply resents you more and more every passing day. Just because someone "accepts" something doesn't mean they don't resent being forced to do so.

That's not a relationship built on love, it's one built on convenience and that's how people end up becoming roommates.

no resentment. they love each other, but not the lustful way. just realistic.. the games are gone... less bulshiet... less drama... older guys i know just wouldnt accept it. Girls fall in line or else (usually) have no one. Looks have faded. Fertility basically gone. these are the relationships types that I see in older couples.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

no resentment. they love each other, but not the lustful way. just realistic.. the games are gone... less bulshiet... less drama... older guys i know just wouldnt accept it. Girls fall in line or else (usually) have no one. Looks have faded. Fertility basically gone. these are the relationships types that I see in older couples.

Nope...it's one based on comfort and acceptance their life will never be what they want it to be.

Honestly, it's a pretty sh!tty way to live.

These are the people who lay in their beds when they are old and in failing health and wonder what their life actually meant because they didn't do anything that they wanted to do in it and just accepted what came their way.

Essentially these are the people who instead of climbing a mountain to see the spectacular view from the top were happy to climb to the top of the little hill down the street and just stay there because it was a lot easier.

 

[Slowhandluke]

Nope...it's one based on comfort and acceptance their life will never be what they want it to be.

Honestly, it's a pretty sh!tty way to live.

These are the people who lay in their beds when they are old and in failing health and wonder what their life actually meant because they didn't do anything that they wanted to do in it and just accepted what came their way.

Essentially these are the people who instead of climbing a mountain to see the spectacular view from the top were happy to climb to the top of the little hill down the street and just stay there because it was a lot easier.

sometimes, it not about marrying a women or being in a relationship. older men as you say, have more important things to worry about like climbing a mountain sometimes its just enough to have a woman that will happily bring you a sandwich when you are looking over the plans.. or willing to come along for the trip. (without obsessively pitching in your ear hahahah) aint got no time for drama.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Nope...it's one based on comfort and acceptance their life will never be what they want it to be.

Honestly, it's a pretty sh!tty way to live.

These are the people who lay in their beds when they are old and in failing health and wonder what their life actually meant because they didn't do anything that they wanted to do in it and just accepted what came their way.

Essentially these are the people who instead of climbing a mountain to see the spectacular view from the top were happy to climb to the top of the little hill down the street and just stay there because it was a lot easier.

and there are men and women who wasted their lives chasing thrills and shiny distractions, only to end up in jail, broke, or living a sad life by the age of 40. Father Time always comes to collect his debt, and the longer you wait or keep playing the game, the more interest will have piled up when he returns. The most successful guy with women that I knew is 30 years old, living with his parents, a single dad of two different moms, doesn't even have a GED, and is lucky to get a 6-month long pressure washing job that doesn't pay minimum wage. Meanwhile, the neighbor he picked on for being as cool as him is a doctor right now with a wife and 2 kids and a house of his own.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

and there are men and women who wasted their lives chasing thrills and shiny distractions, only to end up in jail, broke, or living a sad life by the age of 40. Father Time always comes to collect his debt, and the longer you wait or keep playing the game, the more interest will have piled up when he returns. The most successful guy with women that I knew is 30 years old, living with his parents, a single dad of two different moms, doesn't even have a GED, and is lucky to get a 6-month long pressure washing job that doesn't pay minimum wage. Meanwhile, the neighbor he picked on for being as cool as him is a doctor right now with a wife and 2 kids and a house of his own.

Being successful with women does not equal being successful in long term relationships.

That is, getting a woman to fvck you is not the same skill set as building a lasting, meaningful relationship with someone that maintains the sexuality in it and doesn't devolve into being roommates.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Sex, companionship, a life partner/wife. Men age. So do women. Most older men cannot get women much younger. Also in a marriage, both people age.

I can get all of those from a younger woman. An older woman is not a life partner or wife. The fact they are at this age without such a thing and having to get with another man disqualifies are from such an ideal setup.

It does not matter what most older men cannot get. Having a younger woman is far superior to having an older one. I'm not talking about a marriage where both hooked up young and had kids. I am talking a man in his range of ages who chooses deliberately to date either within his age or younger.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Bros congregate in college in general. It’s a function of having so much on the menu that you end up ordering nothing. When the menu slims more and more after graduation is when the bro ends up looking to order, so to speak. This is not a function specific to Miami, it happens anywhere and it’s a great place for a moderately older man to be, since that man has had to develop game in order to succeed.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Being successful with women does not equal being successful in long term relationships.

That is, getting a woman to fvck you is not the same skill set as building a lasting, meaningful relationship with someone that maintains the sexuality in it and doesn't devolve into being roommates.

This is why I’m not impressed with a guy’s lay count. At some point, you are just wasting time and energy chasing a dopamine hit.

 

[MatureDJ]

Good for you OP. I've only been to Miami once and it wasn't my cup of tea.

I remember having a flight layover in Miami in February. It seemed like a much dinkier airport than I would have expected from a city like Miami, and the concourse was not air-conditioned, and it was hot as h3ll. February.

 

[Clockwerk50]

but what happened to all of the posters who used to be here who would always say 'girls in their prime (18-25) get easier as you get older. If you are 45+ and these girls aren't throwing themselves at you, then there is something seriously wrong with you!' lol. There used to be lots of them posters. Did they finally wake up to reality?! I think about them sometimes lol

Has this forum always been like this? Feels there are some guys who fantasize about younger women but can’t even get with girls at or below their own SMV. Are these just the men who kept posting here while their lives quietly passed them by?

 

[Slowhandluke]

...

Has this forum always been like this? Feels there are some guys who fantasize about younger women but can’t even get with girls at or below their own SMV. Are these just the men who kept posting here while their lives quietly passed them by?

Relationship dynamics interests me. that is why I post here. the data point hete maybe biased, but it is a data point. People say i have a full life and I do have women interested in me. don't know about other folks.