"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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NY Times Article on Laughter

izza

Master Don Juan
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We have all remarked that getting people to laugh, play, and have a good time is a key thing socially successful people often do.

That's where this article throws us an interesting screwball. According to this article, laughter is more signal than reaction to wit. Think of two kids playing. Scientists believe that the original function of laughter was during a play fight to say, "I'm playing not fighting. Don't get mad." This has transformed with culture into social grease. When we are trying to impress or afraid, we laugh more. So for instance, people are more likely to laugh at a boss's joke than a subordinate.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/13/s...anted=all&oref=slogin&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

(And embarrassing tidbit, I think that joke is pretty funny.)

Anyway, I think this article is excellent if you think about it in terms of the comedian's credo: "never laugh at your own joke."

This fits with Juggler's credo as well: "people will talk to you because you scare them a little tiny bit." People who don't laugh at their own jokes are just a little more scary and intense. This scares people a little, gets them laughing a bit more. If a comedian gets up on stage and he's just a huge doormat, people are more likely to toy with him than an enormous guy who never cracks a smile at all.

People will laugh to grease their interaction with you. Laughter is social grease, but keep the laughter coming mostly from them. I would also recommend becoming aware of your own use of laughter as a signal that you are "just playing." I would not so much recommend that people laugh less. More like they should regard this kind of laughter as coming from anxiety. In other words, people should heal their social anxieties, then they will laugh less out of anxiety.

With anxiety healed, it will be easier to live up to the comedian's creed. And we would all be more charismatic people.

Still, I really love laughing - at my own jokes and those of others. I'm not sure I can give it up that easy. But that muffin joke? This has got to stop somewhere!

Love,
Izza
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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