"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Number Close + Major Social Proof = Insta-Cold???

Safari

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Alright, figure this out.

I've been building rapport with this waitress where my band plays every week. IL was definitely going up, as she would touch, flirt, and last night invited me to sit and chat with her while she was taking a short break.

We start going off into what was shaping up to be a good, long conversation, getting to know each other. But after a few minutes, I said I had to go back to my friend who had came a long way to meet me here, which was true. So I asked for her number, and somewhat stunned, a little disappointed that we couldn't chat right now, she unhesitantly says ok.

I say wait a sec, and I grab my phone at my table to put her number in it, not even 5 seconds there and back. I turn around and she went into the kitchen for a second, and comes out after about 20 seconds. I have my phone ready, but she grabs a notepad, puts my name on it, and says here, write yours down.

NO WAY, I think. So I asked how she spelled her name, wrote it down on that pad, crossed out my name she had written, and handed back the pencil. Honestly, she seemed a little taken aback by this bold (possibly not good) move, but again, she wrote it without hesitating.

Then I play the show and do my own thing for the rest of the night, essentially ignoring her until the end of the night (explained in a minute). I had lots of applause for solos and people coming up to me with compliments, and a lot of people I knew where there, so I was definitely having a good time, as I always do there. I couldn't ask for better social proof.

One semi-hot older woman even dragged me on the dance floor. Having not danced for years, I had to think back to remember swing dance stuff from college. So this one gets bored and passes me of to a much older woman, but I said screw it, and then all of the sudden start remembering how to swing. Someone said it looked good, but in any case that woman said I made her night. I'm not sure, but I believe someone said this type of thing usually looks good, as long as everyone is having fun with it.

SO- having to pay for an outstanding beer at the end of the night from this waitress, she was now totally ice cold and very businesslike. "Catch you later" I say. "Yeah," I get in reply. She wouldn't look me in the eye, no flirting, nothing. The whole sparkling eye thing was gone.

I was thinking, how could IL tank THAT fast? Intimidated? Jealous? Turned off? Upset that she couldn't dodge giving the number? Whatever it is, I think the number is now worthless. Agree/Disagree?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Joined
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Call her and let her tell you the answer!
 

DJ Alejandro

Senior Don Juan
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give her a few days.

women don't make sense.

oh wel, must be THAT time of the month. haha :D
 

waldo

Don Juan
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Yeah she was probably thinking the opposite of the way she was acting. Give it a few days then call her and you'll get your answer.
 

Safari

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Update:

My message this afternoon went unreturned. Seems my gut was unfortunately right on this one.

Looks like the "get her number, don't give yours" rule is not hard-and-fast. That's why I left a message, because I also don't buy the rule that you should never leave messages. What a better test of real IL than to see if she calls back?

Someone explain to me what these rules are good for. What am I missing?

If a woman tries to turn around who gives whose number, what do you guys do? I consider it a blow off, and standing my ground just seemed to insult her and tank her IL. I'm thinking next time, just give up the number and call it a day.

Now I get to play the fun game of acting aloof around this waitress when I play there this week.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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