"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Now Single

LearningSlowly

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So my girlfriend broke up with me. It was over some stupid, unfaithful **** I did (a girl texted the wrong number, I started near-sexting with her, wanted tit pics). She insisted that counted as cheating. Maybe she was just waiting for her chance to dump me. So we broke up.

I deleted her number, deleted our texts, and accepted that I would never speak to her again. Surprisingly easy.

Maybe you guys will get some field reports as I refocus my style, refocus my lifestyle and find a new chick (or a few).
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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White Boy

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She got mad over a really dumb thing in my opinion.

Like NDJ said, on to bigger and better things
 

Skyline

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LearningSlowly said:
So my girlfriend broke up with me. It was over some stupid, unfaithful **** I did
(a girl texted the wrong number, I started near-sexting with her, wanted tit pics). She insisted that counted as cheating. Maybe she was just waiting for her chance to dump me. So we broke up.
It seems like a reasonable reason to me. I mean you asked this girl for nudes/sex basically and you knew. It doesnt't matter if she messages you first you were already with someone.
That IS considered cheating. You ****ed up dude. You should of either ignored her or told her that you were with someone so she needed to back off. For all you know, your girl might of even set this up to test your loyalty. You failed it.
 

LearningSlowly

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No, it wasnt set up. I did tell the girl to **** off when I knew she had a wrong number, I said it a bunch of times but she kept texting back and I was feeling ****y.

I knew it was the wrong thing to do. That's why I confessed it to my girl. I believe I stuck to my values and my honesty and willingness to repent should have been enough to keep us together.

I do know I was wrong, but I'm positive I was right by being honest. Never be unfaithful and never lie to your partner. I achieved one not the other.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Skyline

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LearningSlowly said:
, I said it a bunch of times but she kept texting back and I was feeling ****y.

I knew it was the wrong thing to do. That's why I confessed it to my girl. I believe I stuck to my values and my honesty and willingness to repent should have been enough to keep us together.

I do know I was wrong, but I'm positive I was right by being honest. Never be unfaithful and never lie to your partner. I achieved one not the other.
Just because you confessed to it does not make it right. It does show you are not a liar but that's about it. You violated her trust and thats what shes upset about.
I agree you guys should have talked about it instead of just ending it but as of now, she does not trust you. Even if you did confess, what good is that to her if she can't trust you?
 

LearningSlowly

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Are you trying to teach me something I know already? Are you saying how you would never cheat? I understand what I did and I have better perspective than you on exactly how wrong an action it was. Being unfaithful is a wide spectrum and this is relatively tame.

I understand your position and hers.
 

Skyline

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LearningSlowly said:
Are you trying to teach me something I know already? Are you saying how you would never cheat? I understand what I did and I have better perspective than you on exactly how wrong an action it was. Being unfaithful is a wide spectrum and this is relatively tame.

I understand your position and hers.
I'm not trying to teach you anythig. I'm simply stating from her standpoint based on the facts you presented. You seem to know what you are doing though, but hey we may or may not learn something new.

I initially did not mean to be offensive in any way.
 

AlexLefty

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Ooooh yeah. I'm proud of your conviction to move on. BUT, realize that you WILL probably talk to her again. Maybe in a week, or a month, or a year - just be sure you're ready to handle it when/if she tries to talk to you again.

For example: My ex of like 8 months, or maybe its been a year idk, called me 2 times the other night. I didn't answer.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

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