"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Nothin working so far

Hockey Playa

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I was the maker of the thread about how extremely depressed i was after breaking up with my LTR on new years. The first couple days were hell, i got some good advice to links on Getting rid of Oneitits, self improvement etc. I know i have to move on and find another chick, but everything i do i still think of her. I know im not supposed to think of the good times we had together, but thats all that ever runs in my head i cant help it. Ive Been trying my best to keep as busy as possible, Working, Working out, chilling with friends. Still every time i go to bed and wake up i still only think about her. Even at my job im totally unispired its so boring its just gives me time to think about her. Some points in the last 5 days ive felt great like a new man, than something reminds me of her and it all get sucked out of me. Ive been on a rollercoasters of Highs and Lows, its torture, i dont want a chick to have this kind of power over my life
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Docs

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Hey, it's only been 5 days. Don't expect the quick get-over her. It'll take time, keep absorbing yourself in something, and replace the hole with something else.
 

Patrick124

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my oneitis had hold of me for 3 monthes after we quit talking. the 9 monthes i was talking to ehr made it a year-long event in ym life.
its still hard to think about. that was 2 years ago bro. its hard..but ti gets way easier. stand strong, move on, and don't try and get her back. shes not with it[cause when it eventually ends, these feelings will come back even harder.]
 

DJ4Real

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Eventually you'll learn how to overcome "oneitis."

As far as this girl goes; I'd say give it about a month and you should notice changes.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Emptyflare

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I suggest you watch the movie Swingers w/ Vince Vaugn (did i spell his name right?) and Rob Livingston (from Office Space). This has been mentioned in some of the previous posts in a different area of the forum, but i'm telling you, in this movie, the main guy is going through EXACTLY what you are going through. In addition, near the end he solves his problem and learns a lot - check it out man
 

sinner

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do you have any real friends or hobbies?? try hanging out with your friends and be busy in your work. hangin out with friends will surely get your mind away from your ****ty memories. a new chick will also help you....
 

Hockey Playa

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Yes as i said ive chillied with friends every night this week. I also play AAA hockey. Ive gone to the gym every day this week, i cant even stand not doing anything anymore, cause i alwayz think of her. Im just saying that keep myself busy is not helping. My mind alwayz wanders to whats she doing, and when im with my friends and see them with happy relationships like i used to have it just kills me, all the memories flood back.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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B-Lemond

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Thinking about all the great times you've had together is fine.

What isn't fine is thinking that you're the one at lost.

YOU, HockeyPlaya, are the PRIZE. It is her LOSS. After all you are a DJ. (well not really) But if you do want to be a real DJ and have the right mindset (the I'm the PRIZE mindset and it's her loss, because she will never meet another guy like me again mindset) then you should go and read 'The DJ Bible'.

Read this:
http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/
 

Hockey Playa

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man ive read mostly everything on there. what im trying to say is that i cant understand why im feeling this way, i can get other chicks easy, this chick was different. when i try to occupy myself, my mind just wanders to her. I try to put on a good face and fake a smile, and confidence , but its just too hard pretending your happy
 

October

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I've been there man. I think you're trying to look for happiness outside of yourself...something that everyone is guilty of. You can only find happiness in yourself...

Thinking about it and daydreaming about it will not fix the problem. Sure you were happy...but let it go...in the words of someone else: why be unhappy? It wasn't meant to be. Let it go...just let it all go...

You might also need to realize that there are some things that are more important than girls. Girls are nice to have, but ****...if you need another girl to make yourself feel good about yourself, then you are extremely insecure (no offense). Does nothing else interest you, other than girls? Is there anything you TRULY like doing (real PASSION, something that makes you forget about time), besides getting girls or ****ing around? The "prize" mindset is flawed in a way, I think. It's right about you being a great person, but...sometimes it overinflates your ego. You do NOT need to compare yourself to other to have CONFIDENCE. Confidence in yourself. Don't let something that happened outside of yourself affect your confidence, or your own happiness for that matter. Let go of your ego...who cares about what other people think of you?

Don't listen to anything in the media...movies, songs about love...it's only going to make you feel worse.

Or maybe...you feel sorry for yourself? I don't know. Self-pity is absolutely ****ing ridiculous, though. It's ****ing selfish and self-absorbed, and it will NOT solve the problem. If you like wallowing in your own self-pity, well, then you deserve to feel like **** (no offense).

Hope this helps.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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