"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Nothin working so far

Hockey Playa

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I was the maker of the thread about how extremely depressed i was after breaking up with my LTR on new years. The first couple days were hell, i got some good advice to links on Getting rid of Oneitits, self improvement etc. I know i have to move on and find another chick, but everything i do i still think of her. I know im not supposed to think of the good times we had together, but thats all that ever runs in my head i cant help it. Ive Been trying my best to keep as busy as possible, Working, Working out, chilling with friends. Still every time i go to bed and wake up i still only think about her. Even at my job im totally unispired its so boring its just gives me time to think about her. Some points in the last 5 days ive felt great like a new man, than something reminds me of her and it all get sucked out of me. Ive been on a rollercoasters of Highs and Lows, its torture, i dont want a chick to have this kind of power over my life
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Docs

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Hey, it's only been 5 days. Don't expect the quick get-over her. It'll take time, keep absorbing yourself in something, and replace the hole with something else.
 

Patrick124

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my oneitis had hold of me for 3 monthes after we quit talking. the 9 monthes i was talking to ehr made it a year-long event in ym life.
its still hard to think about. that was 2 years ago bro. its hard..but ti gets way easier. stand strong, move on, and don't try and get her back. shes not with it[cause when it eventually ends, these feelings will come back even harder.]
 

DJ4Real

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Eventually you'll learn how to overcome "oneitis."

As far as this girl goes; I'd say give it about a month and you should notice changes.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Emptyflare

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I suggest you watch the movie Swingers w/ Vince Vaugn (did i spell his name right?) and Rob Livingston (from Office Space). This has been mentioned in some of the previous posts in a different area of the forum, but i'm telling you, in this movie, the main guy is going through EXACTLY what you are going through. In addition, near the end he solves his problem and learns a lot - check it out man
 

sinner

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do you have any real friends or hobbies?? try hanging out with your friends and be busy in your work. hangin out with friends will surely get your mind away from your ****ty memories. a new chick will also help you....
 

Hockey Playa

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Yes as i said ive chillied with friends every night this week. I also play AAA hockey. Ive gone to the gym every day this week, i cant even stand not doing anything anymore, cause i alwayz think of her. Im just saying that keep myself busy is not helping. My mind alwayz wanders to whats she doing, and when im with my friends and see them with happy relationships like i used to have it just kills me, all the memories flood back.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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B-Lemond

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Thinking about all the great times you've had together is fine.

What isn't fine is thinking that you're the one at lost.

YOU, HockeyPlaya, are the PRIZE. It is her LOSS. After all you are a DJ. (well not really) But if you do want to be a real DJ and have the right mindset (the I'm the PRIZE mindset and it's her loss, because she will never meet another guy like me again mindset) then you should go and read 'The DJ Bible'.

Read this:
http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/
 

Hockey Playa

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man ive read mostly everything on there. what im trying to say is that i cant understand why im feeling this way, i can get other chicks easy, this chick was different. when i try to occupy myself, my mind just wanders to her. I try to put on a good face and fake a smile, and confidence , but its just too hard pretending your happy
 

October

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I've been there man. I think you're trying to look for happiness outside of yourself...something that everyone is guilty of. You can only find happiness in yourself...

Thinking about it and daydreaming about it will not fix the problem. Sure you were happy...but let it go...in the words of someone else: why be unhappy? It wasn't meant to be. Let it go...just let it all go...

You might also need to realize that there are some things that are more important than girls. Girls are nice to have, but ****...if you need another girl to make yourself feel good about yourself, then you are extremely insecure (no offense). Does nothing else interest you, other than girls? Is there anything you TRULY like doing (real PASSION, something that makes you forget about time), besides getting girls or ****ing around? The "prize" mindset is flawed in a way, I think. It's right about you being a great person, but...sometimes it overinflates your ego. You do NOT need to compare yourself to other to have CONFIDENCE. Confidence in yourself. Don't let something that happened outside of yourself affect your confidence, or your own happiness for that matter. Let go of your ego...who cares about what other people think of you?

Don't listen to anything in the media...movies, songs about love...it's only going to make you feel worse.

Or maybe...you feel sorry for yourself? I don't know. Self-pity is absolutely ****ing ridiculous, though. It's ****ing selfish and self-absorbed, and it will NOT solve the problem. If you like wallowing in your own self-pity, well, then you deserve to feel like **** (no offense).

Hope this helps.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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