"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Not ugly chicks

nice_guyeh

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so iv been talking to this girl, and shes funny, down to earth. real nice girl, but i cant get over the fact - shes not ugly, but shes not hot.
a 5 or 6 i suppose.
im just stuck on the fact that shes not super attractive, although awesome personality..
how can i get past this? im trying to teach myself inner beauty kinda stuff, but i have a mental block here.

help/advice?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Thatfeel21

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As a guy thats been with women of all spectrums, the hotter ones dont necessarily perform better in the bed or even look anywhere near the same the next morning after their makeup evaporates! Keep that in mind and make your own decision....
 

FairShake

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nice_guyeh said:
so iv been talking to this girl, and shes funny, down to earth. real nice girl, but i cant get over the fact - shes not ugly, but shes not hot.
a 5 or 6 i suppose.
im just stuck on the fact that shes not super attractive, although awesome personality..
how can i get past this? im trying to teach myself inner beauty kinda stuff, but i have a mental block here.

help/advice?
What are you? If you are above a 5 or 6 I assume you can get someone else. If not you need to get in where you fit in.
 

ThreeStorms

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nice_guyeh said:
how can i get past this? im trying to teach myself inner beauty kinda stuff, but i have a mental block here.

help/advice?
First, wrong category.
Second, I don't really get your intention to "teach yourself inner beauty stuff"? You cannot force yourself to be attracted to a girl. If you like her, hust spend time with her, and if you feel attraction at some point, go for it. Drop her if not. Simple as that.
 

Juan Don

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watch "shallow hal"? just kidding.

it's easy to sike yourself if you want. even with 9's or 10's. if you treat all women as 1's then you are more likely to build attraction. and by no means am i talking about disrespecting them. more along the lines of flirting and teasing and worrying about ****ing up what you would say to them. i am working on this myself...hard to explain

you think her looks are a 5 or 6
good, then think of her as a 5 or 6 as a whole. that way in your mind she won't be hit on guys a lot. guys will think she's ugly. you won't be jealous if she's around other guys. when you put her at a 5 or 6 you think to yourself if i gave her that score i am higher than that so i am the prize( you should always think that though)
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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ilikecharlene

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looks are not everything. But there has to be attraction there.

If she's not your type physically, then let her go. I think being shallow is not advisable, but it's still somebody's right to be so. we're too PC in our modern society lol...
 

ArcBound

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You cannot negotiate desire.
 

sighsigh

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I really don't understand this logic. Why is caring about looks as opposed to intelligence, personality, etc. considered shallow, bad morals, etc.?

Is it because people are born with looks but can supposedly control their intelligence and personality? Because I'd argue that isn't the case at all... the latter is as unmalleable as the former.

IMO it is just as valid/morally correct/whatever to turn down a girl due to bad looks as it is due to a bad personality/stupidity/whatever.
 

Pandora

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dude ive been there, done that. It usually doesn't work well. No matter how cool she is, if you know that you can get a hotter chick, it will always nag you in the back of your mind. It will only get worse as the relationship looses its novelty. Its not fair to the girl. Cut it before you really hurt her. Trust me, she will not just grow on you.
You will keep improving and seeing hotter girls that you can attract, and then ur gurl is gonna seem inadequate. Your average girl can also sense when ur not that into them physically. They always do.
 

ilikecharlene

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sighsigh said:
I really don't understand this logic. Why is caring about looks as opposed to intelligence, personality, etc. considered shallow, bad morals, etc.?

Is it because people are born with looks but can supposedly control their intelligence and personality? Because I'd argue that isn't the case at all... the latter is as unmalleable as the former.

IMO it is just as valid/morally correct/whatever to turn down a girl due to bad looks as it is due to a bad personality/stupidity/whatever.
shallowness is subjective I guess. it's because we're too PC, and we say shallowness is bad to appease ugmos.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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sambwoy

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Sometimes I can't always pick and choose physical types, based on life experiences. Not only do I have problems on the outside but I also have aspergers- I have struggled most of my life to even see women differently to what I have been lead to believe about them and to tell good from bad, let alone having the courage to talk to them.

I know this is contradictory to what goes on in my blood stream and suppressing my desires, Perhaps I do secretly want 'out of my league type' girls, but tough, we can't always have these things.
 
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Dust 2 Dust

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If you think you can pull better looking women then you'll always feel as though you're settling if you get involved with a plain jane. Me personally, I know I can pull above average looking women so I won't bother with any woman I consider below a 7 on my personal scale. Most of the women I date are 7-8's.
 
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