"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Not sure what to do

Sp1kez

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Heres the background:

I met this girl when she was a junior in HS and I was a freshman, she used to hang out with my sister but after my sis graduated they didnt really keep in touch.

when I was a junior I saw her at school one day and I was outside and she offered to give me a ride home, I asked for her number and she gave it to me (i lost it)

Some months ago I was at work (mall) and I saw her, and we started talking and yiddyyiddyyada and got her number again.

Called her to invite her to a party and she refused....(cant remember the excuse). So I say to myself, fine, shes not interested, and let it go.

About a week later I get a TXT msg from her "Hey, what are you up to?" then we texted back and forth and talked and then she didnt reply anymore so I just nexted her.

Now 2 weeks ago I met her at college again, we talked and I invited her to another party which as on a saturday and she told me she couldnt, but thats he was going to a party that friday and if I wanted to go with her. So we go and the party was kinda whack but we danced anyway.

We kept calling each other throughout this week and met for lunch thursday after class. which brings me to the point.


We were talking just chit-chat and then she asks out of nowhere "do you have a gf?" to which i reply "No, but would you like to be?"(C&F), she laughs and says "Im too old for you"(shes 21, im 18) and then she goes on, I'am 25 years old, of course I knew she wasn't so I bust her on it......and then she goes to say soemthing along the lines of "dating older women is the new trend now no?" and then she asks me why I dont have a gf and I ask her the same thing, to which she tells me that a year ago some guy hurt her or w/e. This convo really didnt lead anywhere but Im wondering if she really meant the "too old" thing.......personally I dont care if she was 50 but Im worried that she believes that It wouldnt work out because of age.

So after that we go walking around and go to the bookstore and we have 'estimulating' conversation etc, and then I saw that she was showing a lot of body language so I went for it, I tried to grab her hand as she tried to hug my arm but I didnt notice in time so I was reaching her hand and then she moves it away and says "not the hand, that reminds me of that *******" At this point I just gave up, we kept walking around talking but I wasnt showing any body language or anything.

We walk to our cars and I thank her for coming , she thanks me and kisses me in the cheek, I say bye and she adds "See you around?" to which I dont reply.(just wanted to eject)

I don't know if I should contact her again or wait and see if she contacts me first, she was sending mixed signals, and that bf thing was weird. (I held her hand at the party the week before)

I need advise on what to do and how to approach this situation.

I apologize for the long read :rolleyes:
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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brenbaus

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I would wait for a few days, and then try and get in touch with her, if she dont awnser after a few times, leave a voicemail, if you still dont hear back from her, shes not interested.


If you can get an older woman, do whatever you must (short of becoming AFC again) to keep her around, older women are the sh!t when it comes to sex!
 

Scoiland

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ya sounds like she is sending mixed signals

since she is older maybe she is testing to see how persistant you are. I say that you should give her a call and ask her what her schedule is like for that week and invite her to do something on a day she is free.
 

Sp1kez

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Thats the thing, we both work and go to college so we barely have any time on our schedules.........she did tell me that she has tues and wedns off work though........

I still havent talked to her since that day.............she hasnt even TXT msged me or anything......? I don't want to come off as needy !

But what should I do? call her tomorrow and set something up for tues? or let it chill for a while til I bump into her at school?

She seems to be not over her last BF or something?

Man when she asked me Why I don't have a GF I froze up........only could think of C&F statement that I said, but would have been bad if I had said "Because most women like to test guys and play mind games and I don't have the time or patience to deal with that"?
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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squirrels

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Originally posted by Sp1kez
so I was reaching her hand and then she moves it away and says "not the hand, that reminds me of that *******"
There's a term for this: DAMAGED GOODS.

If this is already preventing you from being intimate with her, IMAGINE what it will be like when you two are DATING! Is that really something you want to deal with?
 

Sp1kez

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Ok I TEXTed her "Hey X, would you like to do something tomorrow?"

and she replied "Hey X(she called me by my middle name....odd)...I can't tomorrow since I'm going to be busy"


:rolleyes:

Is this a dead end? should I just let it slide and see if she reaches me within the week and if not then NEXT her?
 
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