"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Not sure how to go about this date?

Tomo

Senior Don Juan
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Bear with me, I'm a bit rusty on dates with girls whom I have not built much of a rapport with. Be it a chick I've seen more regularly and genuinely talk with I can easily navigate myself through a date. Thing is, in this case it is a chick whom whenever we have talked, its purely been suggestive flirtations, kino and teasing etc - not much depth. Still got the date. I'm taking her to this marina where there are a selection of restaurants, a gaming arcade and the beach is just around the corner (although it will be quite cold). Heck I did not even book a restaurant and thought to keep it casual and we'd decide on the night rather than choosing a restaurant that either of us did not feel like eating at.

So just had a read through the bible and the problem is I'm wondering whether I should have planned an action date instead of this dinner and not sure what to do after date.

Anyone have any tips for me on how to go about things?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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TheSlasher

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Just remove the "we decide" to "I decide (or 80:20 power ratio to your favor since it's a first date)", realize that you're also screening her to see if she's ok for you, and you're good to go.
 

Harry Wilmington

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For most first dates I usually do coffee shop or book shop if I haven't talked with her before. If you have talked to her before, don't try to over-extend the date or go to too many places. First dates should be limited to one location, you shouldn't feel the need to spend a whole lot of money, and the focus should be on seeing if you two are able to spend time together without it feeling awkward.

If you're going to do dinner, make it someplace interesting - I like Hibatchi restaurants 'cause they cook the food on the table and it's entertaining. Don't shoot for something too active yet - you don't know what her likes are and you don't know her level of physical exertion. This is stuff you find out on the first date to help you plan the second one. Restaurant and a walk around the area to look at stuff should be good enough - heck, I've had first dates at malls before that have gone very well, and all we did was walk, look at stuff and talk.
 

Tictac

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Since you've set the date, find something to do after. I usually go for a walk, go get a drink at another place - something like that.

Action dates are better. So do that.
 
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