Not showing IL and the side effects...

[darkjedi]

In my quest to become a DJ, I've been analyzing a few of the woman I've dated and lost in the past month or so. I believe this was due to me not showing enough IL which I'll explain shortly. I'm looking for thoughts and opinions on this question: Is it possible for a woman to lose interest in you completely if you are not showing her that you have a high IL in her after going on several dates?

Let me give you an example. I dated a woman for about a little over a month in which we seen each other 1-2 times a week and I would only call to setup the dates, nothing more. We would meet for dinner, drinks, or coffee for the first few weeks and then she invited me over to her place for dinner a week later. I then invited her to my place and we just basically chilled and watched a movie. I walked her out after the movie, she gave me a kiss and we had made plans to go out the next night in which I was to call her. I called and left a message the night we were to get together... I have not heard from her again since.

I believe this was due to me not showing IL or even attempting to escalate anything and she got tired of waiting. All the times we got together I did not initiate any kino (besides the end of the date hug) or go for a kiss. Actually she did ask me about this after dinner at her place, but this probably did more bad than good. Anyway I did kiss her at the end of that night. At my place while watching the movie again I did not attempt anything.

Again I'm looking for your thoughts on this.

 

[Obsidian]

if you're not initiating any kino then you probably come off as a real wuss. The man is supposed to lead things, you know.

 

[darkjedi]

Oh yeah, there is not doubt in my mind at all that I came across as a wuss. I didn't think it would be a deal breaker though.

 

[blueguy]

Is this your first dating experience? How old are you?

 

[darkjedi]

No it's not my first dating experience, but it was my first time experiencing this kind of reaction from a woman. I know better now, but just wanted to hear from the experiences of all the other DJ's about how much of a deal breaker it really is when you don't initiate kino, kissing, ect...

I'm 27 btw.

 

[Tazman]

Call her up, hang out, escalate. If it doesn't work write her off. This is probably her way of trying to get you to "rise to the occasion" without having to make moves herself (especially since she brought it up during your dinner date), she doesn't want to come off as desperate or slutty by pushing things. Again, try it, if it doesn't work lose her number.