"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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not responding, and then...

Fela Kuti

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Hello all,

So I've known this girl from MySpace since a few months ago and we chat a lot online. And we also meet time and time again at music gigs. But we've never had a real life long conversation. Until she asked me (via IM) to meet her for a hang out with friends (my friends are her friends too). We had so much fun together and I started to like this girl more. So the next day when we were talking via text message, I told her: "Let's go to XYZ bookstore sometime!" (she'd been wanting to go there). After some long minutes, she replies, but didn't mention anything at all about my invitation! So I reply with a cold tone without asking her again and the text convo ended there. Then suddenly, at midnight when I was sleeping, she texts me: "Fela, are u still awake? So when are we gonna go to the bookstore?". So then a few days later we had a fun date which ended with a candlelight dinner.

What I'm curious about is, why didn't she accept my date offer earlier? I know maybe it's not important, but I'm curious. Whaddya think?

P.S. I know my English is not too good ;)
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Sean O

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It was just a test. And you passed it quite well :up:.

Your english is fine, btw.
 

Fela Kuti

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so how will an AFC react to that? by asking her again immediately?

uh, now my problem is that she keeps a secret about his status to everyone. and I'm shy to ask her about it..
 

Sean O

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so how will an AFC react to that? by asking her again immediately?
Pretty much. Another thing I should remind you of (which you did indeed do anyway, but may not have realized its importance) is that you should never ASK a girl if she wants to go out. You should instead SUGGEST it. In your case, you said, "Let's go to XYZ bookstore sometime!", which is exactly what I'm referring to.

One last thing. Because you were text messaging, she may not have picked up on this "cold" tone you were trying to convey. This was actually a lucky thing for you. It's never worth it to be cold to a chick unless she blatantly disrespects you. Instead, in future situations like yours, just gradually become more indifferent to her, while still being polite. It just sends better messages.
 
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