Not Getting Much In Return

[crazyboy]

ahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahaha hahahahaaaaaahahahahahahh lol wtf did i just read for the love god your sanity or whatever you believe in please dont tell me this is real. you sound like a real punk right now. Im doing all the work and she doesnt do anything for me and i have take care of her kids and she had two fail marriages. omg dump this worthless women. There reason your parents talk crap about her and your family does too. You are the biggest idiot i have seen so far okay probably not biggest but there are some stupid sosuave poster. Your relationship suck in all areas man there nothing good here. wtf are you expecting from this Wh@re a loving family and kids. She fail at two MARRIAGES.

Your are pathetic chump who need to be slap ofsome reality. Are you really that pathetic i mean just reread what crap you wrote. and tell me is this a woman you want to be with.

YOU WENT INTO DEBT FOR A WOMAN WHO COULDN'T EVEN MAIL YOU A FREAKING CD. HEY WHILE YOUR AT IT PLEASE CUT OFF YOUR C0CK AND BALLS GIVE THEM TO A REAL MAN. PUTA I CANT EVEN DEAL RIGHT NOW. LOL YOU SUCK

 

[TheSlasher]

To all those who are reading this thread:

This guy has only two options to do:
1.) Stay.
2.) Leave.

If he leaves, he'll face his conscience/ego for being a coward for leaving a woman and two kids in need (one, probably, since he said the other already has work). This is apparently how he sees the situation, so I'm going to shut the f*** up about calling that woman a user (after all, that is none of my business). We're spinning plates at the possibility of hurting sincere women's emotions, just so ours won't get hurt. If we try to see how important women's feelings are to them, I don't think it is really that different.

If he chooses to stay, a lot of planning, changes, and strict discipline must take place. I can't give him an advice on that, since he's the one who knows the economic terrain of their place.

C'mon guys, this OP has no obligation to follow what we think is right (regardless of how strongly backed by evidence it is), so we also don't have a right to chastise him for not obeying what we think is right. He's a man; let him be.

To elocoyote:

Make your choice, then ask a different question later. Though I can't guarantee that many guys here will give you advice on how you can fix the mess you've chosen to stay at, as apparently, nobody here wants you to stay there.

 

[elcoyote]

TheSlasher

I like smart people. You sound to me like a smart guy. Yes, it is my life, and yes I may be getting screwed, but I am ultimately the one that will have to live with the consequences of my actions and I need to realize some things myself.

Now, you said:

If he chooses to stay, a lot of planning, changes, and strict discipline must take place.

This is actually where I need help. I told you what the economic realities are.

And now, for all those who have women. What does your woman do for you?

Help me understand things. I've been with this woman for six years, so I am used to all of what is happening and consider it normal. Prior to that, I had my father, who is an alcoholic (not drinking now though) , treat me like **** and I helped him out with a lot of things despite the way I'd been treated. My current girlfriend told me that I don't have to tolerate his behavior, and guess what? That's exactly what I did.

Things finally came together for me emotionally. Sure, I had a nice sporty car, savings, and I was very well off FINANCIALLY before I got myself into this mess. The problem was that I was always up and down emotionally depending on whether my dad was drinking and whether I was trying to save him from his drinking. Add a girlfriend who didn't like having sex with me (and I'm needy in that respect), and who didn't really do **** for me either and forgot about my birthdays and there you have it.

And you know what happened? I met my new girlfriend (current), I went to therapy (thanks to her actually), and I was suddenly HAPPY. I was happy with who I was with and I was happy with who I was as a person. And when I started telling my family that I was happy, they all began attacking me! "Huh? What? What do you mean? What makes you happy?"

And you know what the problem was? Well, hell. It was great to have a son with a sports car, his own company, and a young girlfriend. He could tell the whole world about how great his son is (and therefore make up for what he was not, believing he'd earned it even though it was all my work). I let him borrow my car when I went on holidays. I think he ****ing crashed it actually and then got it fixed.

So now I get together with a woman who, yes, had made some mistakes in the past and yes, she's not a financial whiz, but she's not a super spender either. She does whatever she can to make sure her kids are doing okay, and that's understandable. But for the most part, she has made me happy. Emotionally-speaking and from a relationship perspective, she has made me happy.

Now, am I living an illusion? Am I being used? You all think I am. Let's work through some things that will help me better understand that in fact I am, or perhaps I am not.

My whole family are a bunch of sheep who bow down to anyone who's stronger, and in my yard that's my dad. He'll yell, scream, intimidate, and be forceful to get his way.

Blood is thicker than water? Perhaps it is, but if someone treats me or my close ones like they're not even human, I will not tolerate it. That's my territory now.

If any of the posters here are wondering why I'm not answering their threads, it's simple. I choose my battles wisely, so you can keep wasting your time.

I stand for family and sure, it would be great to just bail. Take the easy way out, like most people do. If I am wrong, I am wrong. As I said, I will suffer the consequences.

I need advice because I may not be seeing some things as I have been in the relationship for a long time and I have always been a giver.

Now, about getting strict, where do I start?

 

[Bible_Belt]

Prior to that, I had my father, who is an alcoholic (not drinking now though) , treat me like **** and I helped him out with a lot of things despite the way I'd been treated. My current girlfriend told me that I don't have to tolerate his behavior, and guess what? That's exactly what I did.

Maybe she didn't want dad to get in the way of her gravy train. She seems to have stepped right into his place as the person in your life who exploits you.

People who have bad relationships with their parents inevitably develop issues. And the way the human mind tries to deal with any issue is that it makes you re-experience it over and over again. You might ask yourself if that is what you are subconsciously doing with your relationship choices.

 

[TheSlasher]

Prior to that, I had my father, who is an alcoholic (not drinking now though) , treat me like **** and I helped him out with a lot of things despite the way I'd been treated. My current girlfriend told me that I don't have to tolerate his behavior, and guess what? That's exactly what I did.

Maybe she didn't want dad to get in the way of her gravy train. She seems to have stepped right into his place as the person in your life who exploits you.

People who have bad relationships with their parents inevitably develop issues. And the way the human mind tries to deal with any issue is that it makes you re-experience it and over. You might ask yourself if that is what you are subconsciously doing with your relationship choices.

This and what the OP said opened up a third choice that I did not see earlier: see a counselor first.

This way he might be able to dig into himself first. Because perhaps, and I stress, this is just a hunch (albeit with a few knowledge in psychology), he already knew how to solve this economic problem, but his mind is subconsciously controlling him so that he would fail to take heed of the solution that is already in his head, so that his subconscious mind could still re-create the bad experience from his past.

 

[DonGorgon]

Run!!!!

 

[Vidrio]

If you stay and continue to send her money you are nothing but a beta sucker.

This chick is using you.