Not commiting is the only way to to maintain frame

[captain55]

Been here for 7-8 years learned a ****load. I’ve banged everything from strippers to accountants and I’m simply sharing my opinion based on a large amount of lays...nobody has to agree with me.


Imo most Women are for the most part the same. while looks money and status are important social proof is by far the most valuable tool in the game.
I see a lot of guys on here talking about keeping a girl in check and maintaining frame In a relationship lol. Props to them I could never do it. Relationships were only good for me when I had other bitches on the side and the girl would always complain I wasn’t giving her enough attention. Now I’m not saying I was cheating but I would always have girls I was talking to the side.

Every time I ever threw my heart into a chick..I got burned. Every single time I started texting or calling a girl more because she complained I was never available enough **** went south. Every time I would **** a girl and leave her and she would cry things were great. the more they chased. I wish **** wasn’t this way. I would like to believe that women understand that once a high value man commits to her it’s because he wants to not because he has to, but they don’t fellas.

Maybe I’m ****ed up myself but I’m just stating my experience with women. Good girls, bad girls. Strippers, girls from nice families. They all love being cheated on. They all love being ghosted. They all love a guy that never commits. They all love a guy that ****s them and doesn’t give a **** about them. It’s ****ed up for guys that want families one day like myself but it’s the truth..And I don’t care what anyone says it is impossible to have a red pill mindset once you commit to a monogamous relationship with a chick. Actually Imo the only way it would work is if you significantly date up.You MUST date a girl with a higher smv than you. If you go in with the mindset you probably won’t be able to keep her you won’t get nuts. Dating one with equal is a nightmare.

I definitely don’t agree with the **** about not pursuing women with low interest level, complete bull**** from personal experience. What fun is that? The women I’ve chased the hardest fought for me the hardest. The women that pursued me and wanted to lock me down turned on me the quickest.

some good advice here but I’m just speaking from personal experience. I have some psychopathic tendencies which allows me to do very well with strippers etc but makes it difficult to connect so hey maybe some guys can keep relationships better than me. Just telling you fellas if you do have a girl that you enjoy dating and want to keep her, gaming other chicks is a necessity. You don’t have to act on it but never stop gaming other women fellas it is vital to maintain frame I don’t care what anyone says

 

[manfrombelow]

You're basically saying not having sex is the only way to not have STDs or unwanted children.

Part of the entire "Frame Keeping Mindset" is the ability to draw borders with your woman, no matter if you're committed to her or not. Yes I agree it's obviously harder to maintain frame in a committed relationship than not, but it's not impossible.

And also, it reveals the true inner strength of the man in said relationship.

 

[cola]

I think it’s not so much not committing, it’s being ready and able to walk at a moments notice and sub-communicating that through your actions.

You can’t verbalize it, they have to feel it by the way you carry yourself which is expressed best by complete non neediness.

No double texting, don’t respond to texts in 2.5 seconds, she cancels a date? Don’t text her “it’s ok” it’s not ok, the correct response is radio silence. Don’t even respond to the cancellation. Etc, Etc.

 

[EyeBRollin]

OP, it sounds like this is coming from a place of pain. We all have those moments.

Imo most Women are for the most part the same. while looks money and status are important social proof is by far the most valuable tool in the game.
I see a lot of guys on here talking about keeping a girl in check and maintaining frame In a relationship lol. Props to them I could never do it. Relationships were only good for me when I had other bitches on the side and the girl would always complain I wasn’t giving her enough attention. Now I’m not saying I was cheating but I would always have girls I was talking to the side.

This is an objective truth. Hypergamy and competitive anxiety. Women desire men that they look up to. They also only want guys that other women want.

Every time I ever threw my heart into a chick..I got burned. Every single time I started texting or calling a girl more because she complained I was never available enough **** went south. Every time I would **** a girl and leave her and she would cry things were great. the more they chased. I wish **** wasn’t this way. I would like to believe that women understand that once a high value man commits to her it’s because he wants to not because he has to, but they don’t fellas.

This is blue pill behavior. Doing what women say they want always leads to disaster. They have no idea what moves them emotionally.

Maybe I’m ****ed up myself but I’m just stating my experience with women. Good girls, bad girls. Strippers, girls from nice families. They all love being cheated on. They all love being ghosted. They all love a guy that never commits. They all love a guy that ****s them and doesn’t give a **** about them. It’s ****ed up for guys that want families one day like myself but it’s the truth..And I don’t care what anyone says it is impossible to have a red pill mindset once you commit to a monogamous relationship with a chick.

That's not true, sir. Committing to a LTR does not lower your value. The problem is most guys stop doing the things that got the girl. They stop acting like men. Chase your purpose. Let her chase you.

Actually Imo the only way it would work is if you significantly date up.You MUST date a girl with a higher smv than you. If you go in with the mindset you probably won’t be able to keep her you won’t get nuts. Dating one with equal is a nightmare.

This is the opposite of true. Men who follow this will always struggle with women. You should date a girl with lower SMV than yours, or witness a world of pain. Women instinctively cannot respect a man they are "equal" to and they despise men they feel are beneath them.

I definitely don’t agree with the **** about not pursuing women with low interest level, complete bull**** from personal experience. What fun is that? The women I’ve chased the hardest fought for me the hardest. The women that pursued me and wanted to lock me down turned on me the quickest.

The #1 predictor of relationship longevity is the woman's interest level. Our interest level doesn't matter. It's a frustrating truth, but the overwhelming majority of problems on this forum and in real life are caused by men wasting time with low interest women.

some good advice here but I’m just speaking from personal experience. I have some psychopathic tendencies which allows me to do very well with strippers etc but makes it difficult to connect so hey maybe some guys can keep relationships better than me. Just telling you fellas if you do have a girl that you enjoy dating and want to keep her, gaming other chicks is a necessity. You don’t have to act on it but never stop gaming other women fellas it is vital to maintain frame I don’t care what anyone says

To be more precise - men need to keep their emotions in check. We don't choose women for "love" or feelings and shvt. Women are a practical choice. Choose from chicks that have pre-selected you. Don't get so caught up in trying to bang HB8+. No one else actually cares about the conquest and you're the one that has to live with thousands of dudes trying to rip her off you for the rest of your life.

 

[BeExcellent]

Props @EyeBRollin. You are speaking the truth. Certified from the ladies locker room.

 

[BadBoy89]

Committing to a LTR does not lower your value.

I actually think it does.

Once a woman knows a man has given up all his sexual options to be with her, she has no incentive to please him. A committed man is not a sexy man. A committed man has to obey her or he doesn’t get sex from her.

A woman doesn’t have sexy dreams about a man who commits, or pays bills and raises a family. She has sexy dreams about the strong, dominant, alpha male.

I honestly think a woman’s goal is to destroy a man and then leave him for the alpha male.

 

[captain55]

I actually think it does.
Once a woman knows a man has given up all his sexual options to be with her, she has no incentive to please him. A committed man is not a sexy man. A committed man has to obey her or he doesn’t get sex from her.
A woman doesn’t have sexy dreams about a man who commits, or pays bills and raises a family. She has sexy dreams about the strong, dominant, alpha male.
I honestly think a woman’s goal is to destroy a man and then leave him for the alpha male.

Someone who gets it. Anyone who denies this let me ask you something.
has a hot chick ever fallen out of love with you for cheating on her? That answer tells the truth. Women are players too and will chase a high status guy until he commits. It’s a game to them. I’ve commited to chicks who were not even my hottest option simply because I saw them as better potential l

 

[captain55]

Guys the above is from personal experience. These are women who all would talk to me about and pressure me about marriage and kids, so definitely wasn’t put in the sex category exclusively.

Do you think a hot chick sits there and says oh this guy commits but I know he had hot women after him so hes still a high status man? yeah right. Why do women lust after unavailable men? Men in relationships? Broken men? You were always more exciting to her before you commited and that is the fact. Now a lot of us want families so we will have to commit inevitably nothing beta about it. Just understand your taking a risk and make sure you have the right girl. I’ve had women chase me for months, told me they would drop everything for me and were down for me when I was ****ing other hoes only to turn on me shortly after I committed. A man’s natural state is to never commit and a man’s natural natural state is what women find most attractive.

This is why I stand by what I said in order for a long-term relationship to work she must be significantly out of your league. why? Because she will respect the fact that you were able to lock her down! They will say to themselves geez I can do better than this guy he got me to commit wow there must be something special about him. You see how I just flipped the tables? Now if you’re an eight and you commit to a 7 or 8 she’s going to tell her self geez this guy actually settled for me when he can get a woman even hotter why does he like me why does he love me maybe he’s not that great after all

Again you can’t argue with personal experience as I said before the women that still lust for me after me to this day were the women I chased the hardest. The women who came easy to me who tried to lock me down when I gave in it all ended horribly grow some balls fellows and dream big shoot for the stars if your guy and at least a seven don’t even pursue anything less than nine or it won’t end well I promise

 

[captain55]

It isnt conscious for them. I did relationships of two years where some facts came out by the end that proved that this woman never saw me as a long-term option yet at the same time we were planning to move in together and she was nagging me for a ring...

in a relationship with a woman was literally writingly love poetry and telling me she loved me and when I asked if we should be together exclusive she says " wait are you serious" like I was crazy for even thinking that....she wanted me to stay in love with her so her ego could be validated by the conquest but she never wanted anything long term. You could interpret this as an example of the point you're trying to make, and it is, but women are marrying beta bucks guys that commit 50 times more sins because they actually want that stability

I don't think you're necessarily wrong at all but I do think that a beta buck male is going to have a widely different perspective.

The red pill community has made guys scared of the whole beta bucks situation. It’s a common misconception that women don’t get sexually turned on by men with money, they do. A guy that is a 6/10 but makes bank will now become an 8 in their eyes.

 

[Lookatu]

Every time I ever threw my heart into a chick..I got burned.

Maybe you're making the same mistakes every single time and that's why you got burned over and over, or you are getting together with the wrong type of girls. Maybe you just had bad luck so far. But either way, it sounds like you've already given up and have labeled all women a certain way based on your experience. I feel this can be damaging and unhealthy.

I know some guys tend to change and become more beta if they throw their heart into a girl while others can remain the same as when they started. Do you think this is what happened to you?

The trick is to create checks and balances that you can actually follow if you're going to throw your heart into a girl. There is nothing wrong with doing that but you have to do it with some controls in place that you can actually follow.

This becomes a lot easier if you have these working for you below:
- Your smv is higher than her "perceived" SMV. I say perceived because some girls start out as ugly ducklings and flower into a princess but they don't realize their true smv themselves.

- She loves you more than you love her therefore you're ready to lose her or walk at any moment

- She is a selfless person that is also empathetic. LTR's or marriages never work with selfish girls.

I often see guys in committed relationships get complacent, lazy, sets bad examples, lose their leadership, quits providing value of any kind, let's discipline slide, doesn't nurture when needed, doesn't provide a good level of comfort and safety, loses frame and no longer stands their ground, etc.

Then they come on here to complain about how terrible women are. I'm not saying this was you but I often see them complaining and making judgements on women before they look in the mirror deeply at themselves and see if they could've done something different or not.

 

[Lookatu]

A short term fling and a healthy LTR, isn’t just a difference of time baked, so to speak. A healthy LTR specifically requires different ingredients.

Simply over-baking a short term fling will never turn it into a happy healthy LTR.

Very well put. You've managed to say things in a few sentences which would've taken me a few paragraphs.

 

[Grinderman]

Water finds its own level.

The type of women in your life is a reflexion of you.

 

[Mister_Skinny_Jeanz]

Been here for 7-8 years learned a ****load. I’ve banged everything from strippers to accountants and I’m simply sharing my opinion based on a large amount of lays...nobody has to agree with me.


Imo most Women are for the most part the same. while looks money and status are important social proof is by far the most valuable tool in the game.
I see a lot of guys on here talking about keeping a girl in check and maintaining frame In a relationship lol. Props to them I could never do it. Relationships were only good for me when I had other bitches on the side and the girl would always complain I wasn’t giving her enough attention. Now I’m not saying I was cheating but I would always have girls I was talking to the side.

Every time I ever threw my heart into a chick..I got burned. Every single time I started texting or calling a girl more because she complained I was never available enough **** went south. Every time I would **** a girl and leave her and she would cry things were great. the more they chased. I wish **** wasn’t this way. I would like to believe that women understand that once a high value man commits to her it’s because he wants to not because he has to, but they don’t fellas.

Maybe I’m ****ed up myself but I’m just stating my experience with women. Good girls, bad girls. Strippers, girls from nice families. They all love being cheated on. They all love being ghosted. They all love a guy that never commits. They all love a guy that ****s them and doesn’t give a **** about them. It’s ****ed up for guys that want families one day like myself but it’s the truth..And I don’t care what anyone says it is impossible to have a red pill mindset once you commit to a monogamous relationship with a chick. Actually Imo the only way it would work is if you significantly date up.You MUST date a girl with a higher smv than you. If you go in with the mindset you probably won’t be able to keep her you won’t get nuts. Dating one with equal is a nightmare.

I definitely don’t agree with the **** about not pursuing women with low interest level, complete bull**** from personal experience. What fun is that? The women I’ve chased the hardest fought for me the hardest. The women that pursued me and wanted to lock me down turned on me the quickest.

some good advice here but I’m just speaking from personal experience. I have some psychopathic tendencies which allows me to do very well with strippers etc but makes it difficult to connect so hey maybe some guys can keep relationships better than me. Just telling you fellas if you do have a girl that you enjoy dating and want to keep her, gaming other chicks is a necessity. You don’t have to act on it but never stop gaming other women fellas it is vital to maintain frame I don’t care what anyone says

i tend to agree , everytime i was faithful and committed i got crushed.

 

[Mister_Skinny_Jeanz]

I often see guys in committed relationships get complacent, lazy, sets bad examples, lose their leadership, quits providing value of any kind, let's discipline slide, doesn't nurture when needed, doesn't provide a good level of comfort and safety, loses frame and no longer stands their ground, etc.

i admit this has happened to me a few times, i also think OP is still right too.
if you have no options you are more likely to put up with bull**** to have access to *****. chicks realize this , it will never end well.
also man vs man , if you look frail and weak other men will challenge you for your girl. back down or lose a fight and its over.

 

[captain55]

i tend to agree , everytime i was faithful and committed i got crushed.

yup. Every time I had a woman lust over me I was sociopathic. Banging strippers the morning of and coming home to them. Lying to them. Getting off to ****ing and leaving them. Hot women love being treated like **** after you get them to fall for you

 

[Mister_Skinny_Jeanz]

yup. Every time I had a woman lust over me I was sociopathic. Banging strippers the morning of and coming home to them. Lying to them. Getting off to ****ing and leaving them. Hot women love being treated like **** after you get them to fall for you

****kin sucks dude , but its just nature

 

[rjc149]

I don't think "women love being treated like ****" is an accurate summation.

Women are attracted to men who have abundance with other women. Cheating on her is essentially walking the walk -- that she is not on a pedestal, that she is replaceable, that you are an attractive, sought-after man. Her response to this isn't love. It's primal desire. Women love men with whom they feel emotionally validated. That's not the same as raw, primal sexual attraction.

The optimally attractive man, to all women, is the man who is both. The alpha provider and nurturer. Alpha bux. This is the man who stars in all of their romance novels and chick flicks. Don Draper. Harvey Specter. Christian Gray. Mr. Big from Sex and the City. The archetype is pretty consistent. Women are not getting wet by James Bond. There needs to be some vulnerability. A way in, however small the opening.

Yes the fvckboi player is a good time while it lasts. Yes, they can learn to love the dorky beta guy with deep pockets -- at least, enough to stomach the idea letting him stick his penis in her to fulfill her own desire to self-actualize and bear children. But neither are what they truly, genuinely lust after. They have no emotional connection to the fvckboi, feel no closeness or validation from his aloofness, and lose interest. They have no primal sexual desire for the beta dork, his servitude and scarcity, and lose interest. They lose interest in both just the same. Same result. Lost interest. Dry vagina. That being said, better to be a fvckboi than a beta dork. At least you get more pvssy, even if you'll never keep it.

You've only been burned by women you've committed to, because you cared when they walked away. It wasn't your feelings that got you burned, it was them walking away for whatever reason.

 

[Georgepithyou]

Relationships were only good for me when I had other bitches on the side and the girl would always complain I wasn’t giving her enough attention

You can replace other girls with a hobby or hanging out with the boys. Women complain that guys always go out but secretly they are happy since it makes the man more scarce and valuable.

If the man is a homebody and spends 24/7 around her, eventually she will get sick of him.

 

[Velasco]

They have no emotional connection to the fvckboi, feel no closeness or validation from his aloofness, and lose interest.

you say the missing element the fckboi lacks is emotional connection (the beta dork, primal sexual desire) that THIS is what prevents him from being the guy she truly genuinely lusts after.

Yesterday, Zekko commented on this post that "relationships are all about [emotional] connections." (talking about how the women in question probably makes 100X more money than the guy she just tied the knot with). And I agree. I myself am a self proclaimed fckboy yet am able to string girls along for a couple of years cuz I have this element with them. What I don't have is money. The element your list of fictional characters, have in spades.

So I think really the ideal guy girls are looking for would be the one in the middle of these two extremes: The sexy emotionally unavailable playboy (raw primal sexual desire + $$$) and the sexy broke artist who gets her (raw primal sexual desire + emotional connection). because both extremes don't work out in the long run.

 

[deadmasterx]

I disagree.

Relationships for me are the next level of "I dare you to maintain your frame". It's a whole new challenge where most guys that are confident on pickup, have a good active sexual life and are outgoing will fail. Why? Because it involves emotions. It's easy to hang out, have sex, have fun and discard someone when you don't have any emotional bonds with this person, that's why emotions gives the relationship a whole different set up.

The rules are still the same, but are you able to still be the same? Are you able to still be the one that you used to be when she started falling in love with you? This is what maintaining your frame in a relationship is about.

It's not about her having this subconscious fear that you might cheat on her if she doesn't behave like a good girl, you'd only build a relationship based on untrust this way, and all of them are faded to failure anyways. The idea is: keep on being yourself, stand your ground, love and protect your woman but do not fall for her bull**** when it comes, keep on loving and keeping your heart open day after day, conquer her heart and give her the chance to conquer yours too. That's a relationship in a daily basis.

Sure, you can treat your woman like ****, but is this who you want to be associated with? You want to be seen as a big guy and your girl as your little *****? Love doesn't flow where there's no respect, you better get yourself a hooker if that's what you want.

As a man, I want to be with a woman that is as good as I am, that I will respect and that I know she respect me. Once respect is over, in either ways, love is gone too. If love is gone, why the hell would I stay in a relationship?

I am in a relationship to grow. To become a better and stronger man that won't fail her and life's tests, that will build a better life with her support (not that I can't do that without her, but with a good woman by your side things tend to be easier) and grow as man, human being, partner, even as father if God wishes so.

To finish it, I'd like to say that relationship isn't a game. If she's playing games, don't play it. She can't play it by herself. If you are the one playing games, grow some balls and man up. Lead your girl like a man and open your heart for her love. Don't be a ****. If you're being humiliated, get the hell out of it. If you're humiliating, you're a ****ty human being. Do what is right, no matter the circumstances. That's how a grown up man has to act like.