"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Noob question, how do I know is she has a boyfriend?

Who Dares Win

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 16, 2012
Messages
7,423
Reaction score
5,795
First of all as I said before shyness is not a problem to me, quite the opposite ,the point is that she works in the gym where I train so I cannot screw up things.

I looked for rings and stuff on her hands and found only one on her middle finger (love rings are usually on other fingers for what I recall), she is always nice and smiling to me but still cant tell if its cause she likes me or simply customer service.

Any idea about how to act? If it was for me I would go straigh and ask her out but as I said I train in that gym and I like it.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

DonJuanit0

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 19, 2008
Messages
564
Reaction score
18
Age
37
Location
Athens
As in a post a few back (cause guys should FIRST look if there's a similar post and read THAT before post a new one about the same subject)

If she is interested in you she doesn't have a boyfriend, if she is not, well she definately have one! Hope you get the meaning! :)
 

Iceberg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 19, 2002
Messages
3,110
Reaction score
136
Age
45
Location
Manhattan, NY
It's a noob question, because it shouldn't matter. Well, of course it matters, but hear me out....

Your goal is to get her out of her work environment and one-on-one with you at a bar (or something social). So, when you ask for her number, or when you ask her out, you'll find out about her boyfriend situation.

You cannot go around trying to date women and be afraid of the rejection that comes with "I have a boyfriend."

That's like trying to be a champion swimmer, but being too afraid to dip your feet in the water to find out if it's cold.
 

Fela Kuti

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 13, 2006
Messages
455
Reaction score
3
DonJuanit0 said:
As in a post a few back (cause guys should FIRST look if there's a similar post and read THAT before post a new one about the same subject)

If she is interested in you she doesn't have a boyfriend, if she is not, well she definately have one! Hope you get the meaning! :)
not true. I once flirted like crazy with this chick and judging by her show of interest I assumed she was single. only to found out later that she had a bf, which was also our mutual friend. how about that!
 
R

Rubato

Guest
Iceberg said:
That's like trying to be a champion swimmer, but being too afraid to dip your feet in the water to find out if it's cold.
I would hope a championship swimming would swim even if the water was cold.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

DonJuanit0

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 19, 2008
Messages
564
Reaction score
18
Age
37
Location
Athens
Fela Kuti said:
not true. I once flirted like crazy with this chick and judging by her show of interest I assumed she was single. only to found out later that she had a bf, which was also our mutual friend. how about that!
You didn't read the signs well?!? She was a wh*re so you don't neet to pay attention to her anyway just f*ck her if she is really interested? Again, if she has a bf and is really interested in you she will either cheat or break up! Orelse she is just satisfing her ego with you! how about that?!? :p
 

Zerro

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 23, 2011
Messages
570
Reaction score
24
Fela Kuti said:
not true. I once flirted like crazy with this chick and judging by her show of interest I assumed she was single. only to found out later that she had a bf, which was also our mutual friend. how about that!
I can recall very few girls in the past 20 years who mentioned her boyfriend to me without having to be asked about it. All others simply "failed to mention it", often I'd find out when I ran into the two of them together and even then usually I'd have to ask who the guy was.

A recent one was flirting with me at a party while her boyfriend was in the other room, I only found out when I overheard her introducing him to someone else a short while later. Cut her off for sure right after that.
 

The_411

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 20, 2005
Messages
962
Reaction score
149
Interesting I get the I have a boyfriend line with a reasonable frequency but it's almost always with girls I have no interest in... I wonder why that is ...
 

Fela Kuti

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 13, 2006
Messages
455
Reaction score
3
DonJuanit0 said:
You didn't read the signs well?!? She was a wh*re so you don't neet to pay attention to her anyway just f*ck her if she is really interested? Again, if she has a bf and is really interested in you she will either cheat or break up! Orelse she is just satisfing her ego with you! how about that?!? :p
well she eventually left him for me, lol. won't do that again though. I learned the hard way.
 

DonJuanit0

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 19, 2008
Messages
564
Reaction score
18
Age
37
Location
Athens
Fela Kuti said:
well she eventually left him for me, lol. won't do that again though. I learned the hard way.
That's the point there! Well no if he is a mutual friend, but...
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

Who Dares Win

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 16, 2012
Messages
7,423
Reaction score
5,795
Thanks all for the opinions however..

Iceberg said:
It's a noob question, because it shouldn't matter. Well, of course it matters, but hear me out....

Your goal is to get her out of her work environment and one-on-one with you at a bar (or something social). So, when you ask for her number, or when you ask her out, you'll find out about her boyfriend situation.

You cannot go around trying to date women and be afraid of the rejection that comes with "I have a boyfriend."

That's like trying to be a champion swimmer, but being too afraid to dip your feet in the water to find out if it's cold.
As I said she works in a place I often attend its not about picking up a random girl at the club, she could be engaged to someone else working there for example, thats why my doubts if it was a place I dont gv a fvck I would have just simply go for it.
She could "forget" about her boyfriend with me asking only to have him coming cause he is the guy working there as well or he is the brother of someone there etc...if no idea comes I'll go for it anyway but if I can do a better plan that riskying its better..

She could "forget" about her boyfriend who can happen to be the other guy working around the desk etc


DonJuanit0 said:
As in a post a few back (cause guys should FIRST look if there's a similar post and read THAT before post a new one about the same subject)

If she is interested in you she doesn't have a boyfriend, if she is not, well she definately have one! Hope you get the meaning! :)
As I said there is not only the girl factor but also the environment factor, I cannot screw up in that place, if I could afford a mistake I would have been more than glad to risk for it.
And it doesnt need to read an other thread to understand what I wrote in the first lines.
She could "forget" her boyfriend only to have him coming because he works there as well or because he is a friend of someone else working there...so? I mean Im going for it anyway sooner or later but with a good plan that doesnt rely on luck would be better.
 

DonJuanit0

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 19, 2008
Messages
564
Reaction score
18
Age
37
Location
Athens
Who Dares Win said:
Thanks all for the opinions however..


As I said she works in a place I often attend its not about picking up a random girl at the club, she could be engaged to someone else working there for example, thats why my doubts if it was a place I dont gv a fvck I would have just simply go for it.
She could "forget" about her boyfriend with me asking only to have him coming cause he is the guy working there as well or he is the brother of someone there etc...if no idea comes I'll go for it anyway but if I can do a better plan that riskying its better..

She could "forget" about her boyfriend who can happen to be the other guy working around the desk etc



As I said there is not only the girl factor but also the environment factor, I cannot screw up in that place, if I could afford a mistake I would have been more than glad to risk for it.
And it doesnt need to read an other thread to understand what I wrote in the first lines.
She could "forget" her boyfriend only to have him coming because he works there as well or because he is a friend of someone else working there...so? I mean Im going for it anyway sooner or later but with a good plan that doesnt rely on luck would be better.
So nexting her is not an option for you? I mean you have this huge problem (her boyfriend being there, in which I agree it is a problem) Anyway, I can't come up with any good plan for this! I'd next her if it was early enough!
 

bigneil

Banned
Joined
Oct 20, 2006
Messages
8,265
Reaction score
2,644
Location
Texas
1) Google her name.
2) View her public Twitter comments to find reference to man's name.
3) View her public Facebook friends list.
4) Search for man's name in list.
5) Open his FB profile and note that he lists himself as "In a relationship with..." her.
6) Confirm via his public feed that notes they were at such and such location(s) on such and such date(s).

This really happened to me. As in two days ago. I told her I knew, then had sex with her, then sat her down at my PC and showed her the above steps, arriving at her boyfriend's page with her on my lap. I commented how handsome he was and laughed. Her expression was priceless.
 

Iceberg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 19, 2002
Messages
3,110
Reaction score
136
Age
45
Location
Manhattan, NY
bigneil said:
1) Google her name.
2) View her public Twitter comments to find reference to man's name.
3) View her public Facebook friends list.
4) Search for man's name in list.
5) Open his FB profile and note that he lists himself as "In a relationship with..." her.
6) Confirm via his public feed that notes they were at such and such location(s) on such and such date(s).

This really happened to me. As in two days ago. I told her I knew, then had sex with her, then sat her down at my PC and showed her the above steps, arriving at her boyfriend's page with her on my lap. I commented how handsome he was and laughed. Her expression was priceless.

If I'm doing all this research for a girl I haven't even f**ked (really haven't even got her NUMBER yet), then I'd be smack in the middle of a case of One-itis, wouldn't I?

I mean, hey, do what you gotta do. But we're just talking about one broad here. Hey she could be single, you could get her number, and even then things might not work out.

Too much effort for too little progress.
 

bigneil

Banned
Joined
Oct 20, 2006
Messages
8,265
Reaction score
2,644
Location
Texas
The "research" took all of 30 seconds for me, and since I had been sleeping with her since October it was justified. BTW she swore it's just her ex. I don't take the boyfriends too seriously. She either likes you or she doesn't.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

Read more...

nismo-4

Moderator
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
4,438
Reaction score
1,142
Location
From New Orleans, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia!!!
Simple ass answer, which was stated in my stickied thread on the front page.

If you're attractive to her, she has no boyfriend. If you aren't attractive, she has a boyfriend who plays football.

Roll with the punches and stop being scared of rejection. Judge's orders.

Case closed.
 

Who Dares Win

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 16, 2012
Messages
7,423
Reaction score
5,795
Let me go straight to the point, my concern is burn myself the place where she works not so much being rejected, rejection I can afford while change gym not.

Cannot look for her name on google cause I dont know it, anyway I decided I'll take the risk and next time I'll go to train there I'll make a move.
I will let you know in this thread ;)
 

ilikecharlene

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
335
Reaction score
8
ask an innocent side question, if she went out at weekend with her boyfriend or something. if she says no, then answer uncovered.
 

handle

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 18, 2005
Messages
893
Reaction score
108
you don't know, you just go for it.

I know, it seems crazy. I felt endlessly embarrassed the first couple of times it turned out she had a guy. But you get over that surprisingly quick.

Just remember, that embarrassment lasts muuuuch shorter than the anticipation. And again, I know, it seems insane. But it's true.
 
Top