"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Non drinker strategy

John9999

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I have never seen this talked about so I thought I would bring it up. I do not drink and have been clean and sober for over 33 years.

Are usually do not bring this up until a first date. The last two times I mention this before a first date the woman cancel saying that she would be on comfortable dating a non-drinker. And drinking by herself Which I can understand.

All my girlfriends and my ex-wife were wine drinkers and it was never an issue.

So what do you think Guys. Do you just address it at the first date when you order a nonalcoholic drink or do you address it before a first date?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Kotaix

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33 years sober? This makes it sounds like you were an alcoholic until you were 19 and had a big problem.

Don't address it. Just let a woman figure it out about you and brush it off like it's nothing when she does. It'll add to your depth not to volunteer sh!t. You do it because you choose to, there's no need to virtue signal something like that. You appear to expect some kind of reward from others for your life choices, you don't deserve any.

Like chris rock's skit says about with men claiming sh!t they're supposed to do:
Some guy: "I ain't never been to jail"
Chris Rock: "You're not supposed to go to jail!"
 

EyeOnThePrize

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I drink rarely and have gone through phases where I don't feel like drinking at all. When it comes up the girls are usually impressed by my will power. Why would you be ashamed of something that so many people in the world can't bring themselves to do? I've never had a girl show signs that it's a problem. If they act like it's a problem then that's a red flag. What kind of girl NEEDS to have a guy that drinks? Sometimes my sober nights are a blast, and I get the bonus of no hangover the next day. But yeah don't expect a medal for being sober and let her bring it up. Own it and don't be a pvssy.
 

sazc

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I have never seen this talked about so I thought I would bring it up. I do not drink and have been clean and sober for over 33 years.

Are usually do not bring this up until a first date. The last two times I mention this before a first date the woman cancel saying that she would be on comfortable dating a non-drinker. And drinking by herself Which I can understand.

All my girlfriends and my ex-wife were wine drinkers and it was never an issue.

So what do you think Guys. Do you just address it at the first date when you order a nonalcoholic drink or do you address it before a first date?
Congrats on your sobriety!

I don't drink on first dates/while I'm getting to know/meeting someone. I don't want alcohol to cloud my judgement. I don't say anything beforehand, I just order a soda when I get there. If they ask I usually just say I never drink when I am driving (which is the truth)

I don't think you need to disclose that you don't drink at all, that you are sober, until you actually know this is someone that you'd like to spend time with. If you not drinking is going to make the other person uncomfortable, I don't think they're the person for you
 

Alvafe

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I drink rarely and have gone through phases where I don't feel like drinking at all. When it comes up the girls are usually impressed by my will power. Why would you be ashamed of something that so many people in the world can't bring themselves to do? I've never had a girl show signs that it's a problem. If they act like it's a problem then that's a red flag. What kind of girl NEEDS to have a guy that drinks? Sometimes my sober nights are a blast, and I get the bonus of no hangover the next day. But yeah don't expect a medal for being sober and let her bring it up. Own it and don't be a pvssy.
possible the way he said it, like kotaix said looks more like he is a drunk who had several drinking problems, kinda scare most people, unless she find you extremely hot then that is kinda a small sidenote of no importance
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Billtx49

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The last two times I mention this before a first date the woman cancel

Do you just address it at the first date when you order a nonalcoholic drink or do you address it before a first date?
First date go to a venue that serves O’Doul’s and order one. If she even knows what it is and asks, you can always say you have to drive later.
It’s Not a subject that needs to be handled beforehand or instantaneously …
Let her get to know you first.
 

Jager

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I’m more curious about why this question even exists. I’m not attacking your search for knowledge, but I will mention that you’re looking for her approval. Who cares if she flakes. There’s thousands of women down the road, millions in the city. It doesn’t matter what she thinks of your sobriety. I wouldn’t bother mentioning it all. It’s totally irrelevant to the context.
 
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