Non drinker strategy

John9999

Don Juan
Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
107
Reaction score
55
Age
52
I have never seen this talked about so I thought I would bring it up. I do not drink and have been clean and sober for over 33 years.

Are usually do not bring this up until a first date. The last two times I mention this before a first date the woman cancel saying that she would be on comfortable dating a non-drinker. And drinking by herself Which I can understand.

All my girlfriends and my ex-wife were wine drinkers and it was never an issue.

So what do you think Guys. Do you just address it at the first date when you order a nonalcoholic drink or do you address it before a first date?
 

Kotaix

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2019
Messages
298
Reaction score
226
Age
41
33 years sober? This makes it sounds like you were an alcoholic until you were 19 and had a big problem.

Don't address it. Just let a woman figure it out about you and brush it off like it's nothing when she does. It'll add to your depth not to volunteer sh!t. You do it because you choose to, there's no need to virtue signal something like that. You appear to expect some kind of reward from others for your life choices, you don't deserve any.

Like chris rock's skit says about with men claiming sh!t they're supposed to do:
Some guy: "I ain't never been to jail"
Chris Rock: "You're not supposed to go to jail!"
 

Mauser96

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 28, 2012
Messages
4,417
Reaction score
1,199
I have never seen this talked about so I thought I would bring it up. I do not drink and have been clean and sober for over 33 years.

Are usually do not bring this up until a first date. The last two times I mention this before a first date the woman cancel saying that she would be on comfortable dating a non-drinker. And drinking by herself Which I can understand.

All my girlfriends and my ex-wife were wine drinkers and it was never an issue.

So what do you think Guys. Do you just address it at the first date when you order a nonalcoholic drink or do you address it before a first date?

Don't mention it before the date.

It is really none of their business. Order pop, coffee, whatever and let them order whatever.

If they say "Why aren't you having a beer, etc?" Just say "I don't drink" and leave it at that. If they want to know why.....tell them whatever you like..

If they don't want to date you because you DON'T drink? Fvck 'em, they weren't a good fit anyways
 

EyeOnThePrize

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2019
Messages
283
Reaction score
293
Age
28
I drink rarely and have gone through phases where I don't feel like drinking at all. When it comes up the girls are usually impressed by my will power. Why would you be ashamed of something that so many people in the world can't bring themselves to do? I've never had a girl show signs that it's a problem. If they act like it's a problem then that's a red flag. What kind of girl NEEDS to have a guy that drinks? Sometimes my sober nights are a blast, and I get the bonus of no hangover the next day. But yeah don't expect a medal for being sober and let her bring it up. Own it and don't be a pvssy.
 

sazc

Banned
Joined
Oct 23, 2016
Messages
4,655
Reaction score
3,495
I have never seen this talked about so I thought I would bring it up. I do not drink and have been clean and sober for over 33 years.

Are usually do not bring this up until a first date. The last two times I mention this before a first date the woman cancel saying that she would be on comfortable dating a non-drinker. And drinking by herself Which I can understand.

All my girlfriends and my ex-wife were wine drinkers and it was never an issue.

So what do you think Guys. Do you just address it at the first date when you order a nonalcoholic drink or do you address it before a first date?
Congrats on your sobriety!

I don't drink on first dates/while I'm getting to know/meeting someone. I don't want alcohol to cloud my judgement. I don't say anything beforehand, I just order a soda when I get there. If they ask I usually just say I never drink when I am driving (which is the truth)

I don't think you need to disclose that you don't drink at all, that you are sober, until you actually know this is someone that you'd like to spend time with. If you not drinking is going to make the other person uncomfortable, I don't think they're the person for you
 

Alvafe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2012
Messages
2,195
Reaction score
654
Age
35
I drink rarely and have gone through phases where I don't feel like drinking at all. When it comes up the girls are usually impressed by my will power. Why would you be ashamed of something that so many people in the world can't bring themselves to do? I've never had a girl show signs that it's a problem. If they act like it's a problem then that's a red flag. What kind of girl NEEDS to have a guy that drinks? Sometimes my sober nights are a blast, and I get the bonus of no hangover the next day. But yeah don't expect a medal for being sober and let her bring it up. Own it and don't be a pvssy.
possible the way he said it, like kotaix said looks more like he is a drunk who had several drinking problems, kinda scare most people, unless she find you extremely hot then that is kinda a small sidenote of no importance
 

billtx49

Moderator
Joined
May 23, 2013
Messages
3,255
Reaction score
2,620
Location
DFW
The last two times I mention this before a first date the woman cancel

Do you just address it at the first date when you order a nonalcoholic drink or do you address it before a first date?
First date go to a venue that serves O’Doul’s and order one. If she even knows what it is and asks, you can always say you have to drive later.
It’s Not a subject that needs to be handled beforehand or instantaneously …
Let her get to know you first.
 

Jager

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 12, 2019
Messages
195
Reaction score
206
Age
28
I’m more curious about why this question even exists. I’m not attacking your search for knowledge, but I will mention that you’re looking for her approval. Who cares if she flakes. There’s thousands of women down the road, millions in the city. It doesn’t matter what she thinks of your sobriety. I wouldn’t bother mentioning it all. It’s totally irrelevant to the context.
 
Top