TheMonkeyKing
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2014
- Messages
- 2,327
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You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
An interesting thought. I wonder how much of this is a placebo effect? I've always thought a lot of PUA methods worked like that. Someone says "Here's the secret to getting girls, you now know a secret that 97% of guys don't know. Be careful when you use it, because it is very powerful". So guys believe that they know the secret, and that gives them confidence to get out there and try, and expect positive results. If you believe abstaining from masturbation will give you certain benefits, you're probably more likely to receive them.Or its just the placebo effect that works on kids and the terminally ill.
Yeah, but since it's fake, it's not sustainable long term.An interesting thought. I wonder how much of this is a placebo effect? I've always thought a lot of PUA methods worked like that. Someone says "Here's the secret to getting girls, you now know a secret that 97% of guys don't know. Be careful when you use it, because it is very powerful". So guys believe that they know the secret, and that gives them confidence to get out there and try, and expect positive results. If you believe abstaining from masturbation will give you certain benefits, you're probably more likely to receive them.
I think real confidence with women comes from getting positive reactions from them. That's when you know you can be successful and attractive. A lot of guys who struggle have had bad experiences early on, which makes them question themselves. Similarly, they say naturals are guys who had positive experiences with girls early on, so they knew they were attractive, and their confidence snowballed from there.Confidence with women is achieved by having knowledge (principles - game/others) + how you do things.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Common world view. It's flawed.I think real confidence with women comes from getting positive reactions from them. That's when you know you can be successful and attractive.
That's true, but it only works if the men are "used to winning". Just talking strictly about women here. Guys build real confidence because they win, or because they have positive results. Then they can say that the power came from themselves and they made it happen.Men who is used to winning knows that power comes and emanates from themselves
I was speaking specifically of confidence with women. But IMO just because you are confident about one thing doesn't mean you will be confident at something else. A guy might be good (and confident) at playing the piano, but put him in a ****pit of a plane and tell him to fly it and he may not be so confident, for example. So yeah, like you said before, knowledge is a part of that. Knowledge and experience.Zekko I believe u know deep down that confidence just doesn't work with only women, it must be an all rounder trait.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Same. LEGOI'm in.
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