No sex in relationship

[_sideways_]

Has anybody been in a committed relationship ...living together with kids and there was no sex?

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Half of married men would say yes

 

[Young OG]

Has anybody been in a committed relationship ...living together with kids and there was no sex?

When she withholds sex then it’s a power play. You tell her how it is and if she doesn’t start giving it up then you walk away. It’s comply or bye when it comes to women.

 

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

Yes, my parents.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

When she withholds sex then it’s a power play. You tell her how it is and if she doesn’t start giving it up then you walk away. It’s comply or bye when it comes to women.

I don't think it works like that. Women do a slow poison drip on a man over years and years until he's a former shell of himself and by that point he doesn't even think he deserves sex.

 

[The Duke]

Two of my bestfriends have. One finds it elsewhere, the other gave up on sehx.

 

[Young OG]

I don't think it works like that. Women do a slow poison drip on a man over years and years until he's a former shell of himself and by that point he doesn't even think he deserves sex.

That’s why frame is important. You can’t be a beta or turn into one.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

When she withholds sex then it’s a power play. You tell her how it is and if she doesn’t start giving it up then you walk away. It’s comply or bye when it comes to women.

This is actually super weak imo and a massive turnoff to women. If you want such a robotic transaction then get a hooker.

@_sideways_ if you're referring to your own relationship then the best thing to do is hit the gym, make friends, and evolve. Get yourself in such good shape that you feel virile strength in your veins constantly. Network with new people, perhaps in active hobbies where you'll meet fit women. Obviously treat these women as friends but more importantly as a gauge. Keep increasing your skills in these active hobbies, your physique, and keep working on your socializing/networking skills. When you sense that these fit beautiful women are flirting with you and giving you hints at something happening then you know that you've reached a point where you're desirable on the market. Obviously stay faithful but your confidence will continue to grow with all of these encounters. At a certain point you'll start to wonder if your wife values you or is a drag on you. Her behavior through this evolution will speak volumes. Does she complain and try to drag you down or does she also get active and find excuses to get your attention with sex and fun flirty things?

Let your actions speak for themselves, there's no need to confront her about not putting out. Get fit, become marketable, network, and you'll naturally start feeling aversion if she doesn't start working to keep you. An obvious question is do you even feel sexual attraction towards her? If you do then try some teasing once you get to the point of being desirable in the marketplace. If she doesn't want to play ball then you've got a fairly easy decision to make.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Doesn't happen if you have an open marriage and other women are attracted to you. The knowledge that you have other options keeps your bed warm.

However, in most LTR women demand exclusivity to be the gatekeepers of sex and then they can deny you pleasure if you don't behave like their good little boy. And if you do behave like a good little boy, they lose respect for you and don't give you any either.

 

[Gamisch]

Doesn't happen if you have an open marriage and other women are attracted to you. The knowledge that you have other options keeps your bed warm.

However, in most LTR women demand exclusivity to be the gatekeepers of sex and then they can deny you pleasure if you don't behave like their good little boy. And if you do behave like a good little boy, they lose respect for you and don't give you any either.

This

Thats why its amazing to me that (older) men STILL believe in the fairytale of the Disneydream.

Its amazing how a man will take on dead weight in the form of a (disobedient) woman who makes your life as hard as possible. For what, 2 years of honeymoon MAX ? That's a stretch already...

Whenever you stop getting sex the relationship as it exists now is OVER. As mentioned above, your only chance is to open up the relationship, and you better book a trip to Amsterdam at first. Because the " who gets a new partner first "race is 99,9 times won by the woman..

 

[Bokanovsky]

You are not living in a committed relationship if she is not having sex with you. Committed relationship = she is committed to what used to be called "marital duties" - i.e. the duty to be available to one's spouse for sexual intercourse. If she's living with you and there is no sex, she's a boarder, not a girlfriend.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Whenever you stop getting sex the relationship as it exists now is OVER. As mentioned above, your only chance is to open up the relationship, and you better book a trip to Amsterdam at first. Because the " who gets a new partner first "race is 99,9 times won by the woman..

I turned my dead bedroom into a 5x+ a week bedroom. Just saying.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Has anybody been in a committed relationship ...living together with kids and there was no sex?

If this is you, OP, I suggest you head on over to r/MarriedRedPill and get to work.

 

[Bigpapa]

I turned my dead bedroom into a 5x+ a week bedroom. Just saying.

Sounds to me that you are obsessed with her or with sex

It is not natural to want / feel the need to bang your really long term gf more than maybe 2-3 times a week ( even that is quite high , especially if your 35+ )

I get bored banging the same girl after like 2-3 months tops and put the energy towards something else, even though they still want to bang like bunnies

guys who are obsessed about being “alpha” for sure obsessed about what other thinks about them. That is very un-alpha if you ask me

 

[Money & Muscle]

It is not natural to want / feel the need to bang your really long term gf more than maybe 2-3 times a week ( even that is quite high , especially if your 35+ )

To be fair, I'm not "natural" and I'm also 29. My T levels are likely twice that of every natural poster on this board, and I've always had a hyperactive libido - even when I was hypogondal.


Not obsessed with my wife, I just have a nonstop urge to get laid. Ironically, when I was obsessed with my wife, I was getting laid far less.

guys who are obsessed about being “alpha” for sure obsessed about what other thinks about them. That is very un-alpha if you ask me

I don't disagree with this statement.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Yes

 

[Bigpapa]

To be fair, I'm not "natural" and I'm also 29. My T levels are likely twice that of every natural poster on this board, and I've always had a hyperactive libido - even when I was hypogondal.


Not obsessed with my wife, I just have a nonstop urge to get laid. Ironically, when I was obsessed with my wife, I was getting laid far less.


I don't disagree with this statement.

Oh, if you have a hyper libido and is just not bullsh1t makes sense what you are saying

Your T level has nothing to do with libido. After a certain level it only makes you just more aggressive

That is why the T levels dropped for most guys, because we live in a world where being aggressive puts you in trouble and because of obesity

 

[Money & Muscle]

Oh, if you have a hyper libido and is just not bullsh1t makes sense what you are saying

Yeah, back when I wasn't getting any - I was the dude cranking it 2-3x a day. Yes, it was a problem, but that probably gives some perspective.

Your T level has nothing to do with libido. After a certain level it only makes you just more aggressive

That is why the T levels dropped for most guys, because we live in a world where being aggressive puts you in trouble and because of obesity

Well, I don't want to go on a derail here so I won't go into specifics, but there are some nuanced differences that would make these statements more accurate. I might post a thread in the Health and Fitness sub one day to help elaborate.

Fat most certainly does hamper T production via elevated E levels. Flouride and xenoestrogens in the water supply don't help, and there are some conspiracies about certain vaccines that may or may not carry some weight to them... the flouride and estrogens in the water are not conspiracy, howerver.


Anyways, married sex is a little different. You don't get the opportunity to have variety with different girls, so you must use variety with the girl you're with. It makes sex less about getting your rocks off and more about the experience, which is pretty fun - at least to me (the sex obsessed). Not saying it's ideal or necessarily better than having different women, it's just the position I'm in and how I've dealt with it to make it enjoyable.

 

[Murk]

Yes but only because I lose interested/sex drive. I haven't seen anyone post about a bedroom becoming dead because of the man's disinterest. That's my only experience. A partner refusing me sex would be a devasting blow and she would probably be gone.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Your T level has nothing to do with libido. After a certain level it only makes you just more aggressive

Patently untrue.

Testosterone is a hormone that plays a significant role in regulating libido or sexual drive in men. Lower levels of testosterone are commonly associated with a decreased libido.

It also is the case in women, those going on hrt get bumped with even a small tap of testosterone and they become horndogs in a few days.