Demonicale said:
Got into a relationship with this girl, she's nice and shy,loyal and not prude etc ... kinda like a church girl or something. Anyhow i asked about sex and everything, and i got told not for a looong time yet. Do you guy's bother with girls like this?, sex is important to me and i don't think i could be with someone who makes me wait too long.
Wow. There are quite a few things wrong with this scenario:
1.
You didn't find out this information before you got into a relationship with her. Anything that could be a potential deal-breaker for either of you - including the sex issue - should have been brought up. These things are easier to negotiate beforehand; once you've agreed to be in the relationship, you've pretty much agreed to take on the situation as is, regardless of whether it was discussed or not.
2.
You verbally asked her about sex instead of just going for it. You would have had a better chance of having sex with her if you would have just done something romantic, gotten her in the mood, made her feel sexy and done the necessary actions that lead to her wanting it from you. Instead, you asked her "so, what about sex," which now puts her on the defensive. Most girls won't just answer with "oh, right, sex - let's do it!" That sets off the slvt radar in their head, as in "if i answer 'yes' i'll look like an easy girl." That's why it's better for them to think that things "just happened" instead of feeling like they made the deliberate choice to do it.
3.
Because you asked her, you gave her control of the frame. Notice that her answer was not "i'm a virgin and i'm waiting to get married before having sex." Nope, her answer basically said she is going to make you wait. Which means now, you can't bring it up anymore without starting an argument because she already framed that she's the one in control of when it goes down.
She may be a nice girl, but if sex is something you're wanting from her sooner than later, it's either not going to work out, or it's going to frustrate you to no end. And if she DOES decide she wants it, she'll still be in control of what activities you actually DO in bed.
I once dated a girl who was trying to wait til marrige for sex, yet was down to do everything else but d-to-v contact. And me, being the AFC i was at the time, went along with it thinking i'd be happy with whatever she was willing to do. As nice as she was, though i could never make her my gf knowing she wouldn't go all the way with me.
It's important to know what works best for you in a relationship before getting into one so things like this won't happen. For now, you have to decide if you can continue dating someone who'se holding your balls in a vice grip. Best of luck to ya!